Monster in the Attic
by mafipereira
Summary: Bella lives a boring life.An unexpected inheritance brings her the chance of a new beginning.What happens when she realizes her boring life is about to come to an end?Attics hide the most amazing things. Sometimes they can change lives.Forever.
1. 1 The Beauty

**If you're reading this: thank you, and welcome to "Monster in the Attic".**

**This is my first attempt at writing a story. I'm giving you what I wrote so far and I'll write more if I receive a good feedback. It's very difficult for me to write in English but I seriously tried my best.**

**I really hope you enjoy it. If not… oh well!**

**Oh, right, I do not own any of the characters or places or anything that comes from Twilight.**

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**Prologue**

The morning came. I knew it because I could feel the warm and the light from the sun coming in through the window. I always made sure I closed the blinds. Not last night.

I always thought I would wake up feeling light, relieved, like I had accomplished something, made some good decisions. But it wasn't like that. It wasn't there. No. What I felt was completely different. I felt fear. Fear for what could come. Like what had happened didn't mean a thing. Of course it didn't. How could I possibly enjoy what had been when what would come would be like hell? I wasn't prepared for that.

I just couldn't open my eyes. And though I was aware I would have to see him soon, I let myself enjoy the morning a few more minutes. It could be the last I would ever have.

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**Bella**

All my life I felt bored. My town was boring, my house was boring, my family was boring, my school was boring … Maybe I was the problem. I was boring: long straight brown hair, brown eyes, pale skin, no particular interest in fashion and gossip. I never had that many friends. I preferred being all by myself. Maybe that was because I never had a good childhood. My parents weren't all that present and I had to stay home, safe, with an old lady babysitting me, most of the time. Mrs. Brandon spent more time sleeping and watching her soap operas than paying attention to me. That's what one get for having busy parents. And then came their divorce. I was expecting it. Probably the only time in my life I didn't feel bored. Of course my mother immediately found a boyfriend who shared her passion for traveling the world. The free spirit she was just didn't have enough space in this little town, with a steady job and with a husband also with a steady job. I stopped thinking about how fast she found another man after just a few months apart from my father. I couldn't care less. I went to live with him, and after a year, boredom came again.

I could have made an effort to move. It's not like I wasn't pushed into it. Believe me, I was. My father always wanted me to leave this place. He always told me "This isn't the place for a girl like you. Go, you deserve the best!", but that didn't move me. I just couldn't bring myself to leave my father or this boring town. It was safe, easy.

So instead of following my dream of being a successful writer, I was 25, graduated with a Major in English, stuck in the boring town of Forks, working at the boring local diner… And boringly alone.

The place was dead. Even boredom didn't want to stick around. Just 3 regulars. One I sort of liked, the others were... dispensable. "Hey sugar! Pour me some hot coffee will ya?" the man I "liked" shouted at me. Well, I was used of being called to like this. It was one of the many benefits of working in the only diner available in town. Everyone think they know you just because you serve them coffee every day. All types of people came here, even the ones who don't own that special social filter. Lucky me. And he wasn't being rude, so I put my happiest smile and walked towards him with the coffee mug in hand. Just because he wasn't being rude, that didn't mean others wouldn't be.

So as I was walking towards the likeable man I felt a pressure in my ass. Oh it just had to be. I turned to see one of the other patrons with a stupid grin on his face. "Quit it Darren. I'm in no mood to put up with your shit today". There was only one way to speak with these guys. "Oh, I love your dirty mouth! Come here baby!" Darren said while grabbing me. "Let me go you idiot!" I shouted. And because everyone is so_let's help the needing of our society_, no one moved. So I did the only thing I could. I dropped the hot coffee in his pants. Suck it you asshole! And because I'm that dispensable too, I got fired.

So now I was 25, stuck in this boring town, not a successful writer, boringly alone and unemployed.

My dad had died a year ago, in the line of duty... He was killed by a hunter by accident when he was fishing. That's all he did apart from being a police officer with no actual crimes to solve. Not even speeding tickets. Boring little town right? So all he did was fishing. I like to think he at least died doing what he enjoyed the most. So I was 24 and was left with a house for myself. Once again, how could I leave when I had a free house right here? Thanks dad!

But now I was unemployed, my savings account all gone with my Major and I couldn't bring myself to spend the heritage money in house bills. I had to use it in something… more meaningful.

You know that moment, when time actually seems to stop, and everything just becomes so clear in your mind you find yourself thinking _Why didn't I think of this before? What took me so long?_ That's what happened to me that day.

The day I got fired I drove home thinking about what to do. I was getting bored of being bored. There was nowhere else to work in Forks. I was definitely not going to work for Mike! Not that he didn't offer all the time, I just couldn't bear him ogling me all day! And I was sick of living in a town where I didn't fit. I hated everyone there. I never got along with people my age. I just didn't belong there. I only belonged with my father. And he was gone. There was nothing there that could make me stay. Not even my shitty job.

So I made some decisions. I was going to sell the house. No matter how much it hurt to lose that good reminder of my father, I had to get rid of it. I was going to search for job offerings too. I was finally going to become a writer like I always wanted. _So, _Bella_, things to do when you get home: Put the house on the market and search for a new job. Great!_

What I wasn't expecting was what I found waiting for me when I got there.

There was a black car parked in front of my father's house. My house. It was odd given the fact I didn't get any visitors. I parked behind it and stepped outside. I walked over to the black car. As I was getting there the door opened and a man in a suit came out. He was tall, well built, with dark short hair and blue eyes. He looked very professional. He gave me a weak smile and introduced himself; "Hello. I'm Charles McCarthy. Isabella Swan?" and raised his hand. I shook it and confirmed: "Yes, Isabella Swan. What can I do for you?". He told me it would be better if we spoke inside and I lead the way. Once on the couch, and after he refused anything to drink, I insisted "Please, Mr McCarthy, what brings you here?". He cleared his throat and spoke: "Yes right. I'm a lawyer and unfortunately I'm here to inform you your mother has passed away."

I'm sure for a brief second my face must have been off because he cringed a little. As he was about to console me I stopped him, my face back to normal: "Oh. I see. Well thank you for telling me. But it was unnecessary for you to come all the way here to tell me that. I'm sure you could have just called me. You see, my mother and I… we weren't close." I seemed sure of myself but inside I was running a thousand miles per hour. She died and no one told me? It had to be a lawyer? When did that happen? Why was she dead? Why was he here? Sensing all my questions he began telling me all the details: "Your mother died 3 weeks ago. She had a car accident. She was living in Florida with her husband…". Husband? When did she get married? The lawyer noticed my surprise. "She got married 5 years ago. She met Phil when she was in England. They came back here and settled in Florida. There are no kids from either side, apart from you. And that's what brings me here.". Huh? What did he mean? "Mr McCarthy, I'm sorry but this is too sudden. I need some time to process this whole information you're giving me. Could you perhaps give me a few minutes?". Without waiting for his answer I stepped outside and sat on the porch steps. So, my mother, whom I haven't seen in 10 years, who was traveling around the world, got married, settled in Florida, didn't tell me any of this and had a car accident. Apart from the occasional post card or phone call, I didn't hear much of her. I could live with that, I did live with that. But I couldn't forget she didn't tell me any of this. At this point e believed she had other kids to attend to and I was the grown one who didn't need to be taken care of. So the only remaining question was: why was I the reason Mr McCarthy was here?

I went inside to find Mr McCarthy where I left him. I sat on my father's couch and asked him to pick up from where we had left. "So, I was saying, the reason I'm here is you Miss Swan. You see, your mother left a Will.". "What about her husband?". "Phil died in the accident too. So in her Will, she leaves all her belongings to you Miss Swan. I'm here so you acknowledge all that belongs to you now.". I couldn't speak for a moment. What was I going to get? Some books? I liked reading. Furniture? Old clothes? A cat? "So you are now owner of some properties. While she was in England she bought a house. She didn't want to get rid of it so it is now yours as she wished. The house in Florida is also yours. I just need you to sign these papers and I'll leave you in peace to process this entire information." He smiled at me like I was the luckiest person in the world. All I could think was: What am I going to do?

So now I was 25, still stuck in this boring town, not a successful writer, boringly alone, unemployed and with 3 houses to sell.

A few days after Mr. McCarthy's visit, I was feeling normal again. I had given enough thought about the information I had been given. Life goes on and there's no need to dwell on it. But I was still unsure of what to do. I still couldn't find any jobs that pleased me. At least the house in Florida was sold. A good deal may I add. Some people were coming here to see this house. Not bad. I still had the English house though. And I just didn't know what to do about it.

I was on my father's couch, reading a book I brought from my mother's house in Florida. I went there to put the house on sale and take everything I wanted. The house only had the ground floor. The garden was made of different kinds of cactus and instead of grass it only had sand. The entire house was surrounded by sand. The walls were painted in a dark yellow tone. Everything was hot, arid. I missed Forks already, the dark brown and green. I guess one needs to feel dry to enjoy humidity, even if Forks had too much of it. Or maybe, once again, I felt connected to it. That's where my life was, no matter how boring. I went inside and felt I was in a stranger's house. There was nothing that called my attention. In the living room there was a bookshelf. _I love books_. I began skipping my finger through the book spines. _No classics_. They were all books to improve one's self-esteem, beginner's books, nothing that hold my interest. Until my finger crossed an old book. Its spine was worn. I pulled it out of the shelf and smiled at myself. "Pride and Prejudice" was written on the front. I remembered this book. I used to admire it when I still lived with my parents. I couldn't believe my mother kept it through the years. And I couldn't believe I had actually found something to bring with me back to Forks. I was feeling confident now; I could very well find other things of my interest. I went through the other rooms but couldn't find anything meaningful. There were only objects that only my mother found useful. I didn't want any pictures of her or her husband. I had what I wanted, my book. I told the real estate's lady who came with me to give all the objects to charity and sell the house furnished. I left for Forks planning on never coming back to Florida.

The book was about Noble English families, who lived in the country side. It made me think about my English house.

I had only seen a photo of it. It was pretty secluded. It was surrounded by trees and green moss. It didn't fit my mother and I couldn't figure what crossed her mind when she bought it. The surroundings remembered me of Forks. It looked very pretty. It was covered in dark brown stones. It had a little front yard with wild flowers and some adorable bushes; the roof was triangular, covered in moss and had a little window on it. I could only imagine the things that attic would have. The door was made of dark wood and so were the windows' frames. Their glass was yellow and looked old. I began picturing myself living in it. It's not like I wasn't used of being alone. I lived alone, had no neighbors and was surrounded by trees. And then it clicked. I had nothing to hold me here: no job, no family, no friends, no love. I had enough money to live for a few months.

I was moving to England.

The little English village was called Bibury. It was pretty cute, with all its little houses, a river and some bridges. Everything was made of stone and had moss and flowers and foliage. It seemed something out of a fairytale. I asked the taxi driver to drop me in the village center because I really had no idea where the house was and neither did he, and I wanted to know if someone knew about my mother. I hadn't brought with me a lot of things, just 4 bags with clothes, shoes and accessories plus my laptop. Everything else I could buy here. So the driver helped me unload my things and left me in the village's center. It was a little square that gathered a few stores: a supermarket, a hardware store, a boutique, a pharmacy, a book store and a coffee shop. _Not that you need any more than this_ I thought. People were walking by, looking at me, half busy with their lives, half thinking who the hell I was. And I just stood there trying to figure out what to do next.

While I was having an inner monologue a friendly looking guy passed by me and stopped, gave me a big smile and walked towards me. He was not just friendly looking but also good looking. He was tall, had tanned skin and really dark, short and shinny hair. His eyes where dark too and his teeth were pretty white. He was wearing worn jeans, boots and a loose shirt. "Hi, I'm Jacob", he said, "You look kind of lost, can I help you with something?". His accent was so funny I laughed, immediately regretting it since I was the foreign here, and would be the one with the funny accent. "Yes, hi. I'm sorry, I'm new to England. Oh, I'm Isabella by the way, but you can call me Bella."."I can see that, American girl! Nice to meet you. So, what can I do for you Bella?"."Well, I'm trying to find a house. It was my mother's, but the taxi driver didn't know it and neither do I, maybe you can help me" and I showed him the photo I had. He made a face; I couldn't quite tell what it meant. "Oh, the old Masen house. Of course I know where it is. I can take you there if you want.". _What a relief!_ I thought. Maybe this is one of the benefits of living in a little village. "But perhaps you're hungry. I'm sure if you came from America you could use something to eat. After all, it's noon". I hadn't noticed the time but when he mentioned it I actually felt hungry, so I told him "You know what? You're right. Do you know where I can grab something to eat?", "Of course!" he said giving me another big smile, "My place! Come. Oh, and let me help you with the bags!". I felt apprehensive. After all I didn't know the guy and he could very well be a psycho! I looked for a wedding ring but found none. _Oh what harm could it do? Don't be a chicken _Bella_!_ And since my subconscious was absolutely right I followed him with the lightest bag since he carried the heavy ones.

We talked all the way to his place, above the hardware store, which wasn't that long of a walk, and I felt more at ease. He told me he lived with his father, who was in a wheelchair. His mother had died a few years ago, in a car accident, the same that put his father in the wheelchair, but it wasn't his father's fault, just a drunk driver. They owned the hardware store. Her mother was British but his father was American like me, actually Native American. _That explains the tanned skin and dark shinny hair_, I thought. Inside the hardware store I found his father and he sure looked Native American. His skin was really tanned, he had the same hair his son did but instead of short it was really long, and he wore it in a ponytail. He was also wearing a cowboy's hat and boots, _irony_, and he wore a huge smile. I couldn't help but smile back. "Hi there!" he said. His accent wasn't American but it wasn't British either. "I'm Billy! And who are you?". "Hi I'm…" but Jacob interrupted me "Hey dad! This is Bella, I found her outside! Guess what! She came from America!" Well well well! Jacob could talk without the accent! I looked at him in surprise and he laughed "Yeah, I was just playing the part of a local. With my father I lose the British accent." And he winked. Oh he winked! I smiled. Then his father spoke "Nice to meet you Bella. So where are you from?", "I'm from Forks, Washington.", "No way!" He said, surprised. "I was originally from the La Push reservation!". _What a small world!_ "Are you serious? What a coincidence!" And from that it was easy talking. They invited me upstairs. Jacob and I got there by stairs and Billy by an elevator Jacob had made. I told them a little about me and my life back in Forks, and then about my coming to England. "So, your mother bought the old Masen house." Billy said with a tone. "Yes, she did. But that was some time ago. She didn't tell me though, I just found out when she died. She left it for me. You know anything about it?". "Well, a little. I remember someone living there, I even saw some furniture being delivered, but the house wasn't inhabited for long. Maybe a year…? Actually, ever since I moved in here, I never saw anyone else living there." That got me thinking. Why would my mother buy a house, buy furniture and end up leaving without even enjoying it for some decent amount of time? We talked a little more about me and my moving here, Jacob offered to help me with everything I needed in the house and took me to the supermarket to buy a phone card for my phone and something to eat later. After that I said goodbye to Billy and Jacob took me to my new place.

I felt immediately disappointed when I got a glimpse of the house. It took some time to reach it and I was pretty excited, but all that came to the ground. Jacob noticed it and commented "Yeah, I know, pretty different from the photo right? It has been really a long time since someone took care of it you know? But don't worry. I'm a pretty good handyman. Anything you need you just have to call me and I'll be here". He helped me unload my things, asked me if I needed anything else and told me once more to call him anytime. "I really appreciate your help and I'm really thankful, but you can go now. I'll be okay." I smiled and he smiled and he was gone.

I stood there taking the picture before me. Where once was a beautifully kept garden, was now a wild jungle of weeds and tall spiky bushes. The stone wall was broken in some places and the wooden gate was hanging loose. The window I had admired in the photo had some glass broken, the roof had some tiles missing, most blinds were broken too and the front door was covered with dry foliage. _Great, this is just great! What have I gotten myself into?_ I grabbed my bags and walked towards the front door since it was beginning to rain. With the old looking key I opened the door and prayed I wouldn't find any wild animal or something worse inside. As I opened the door I immediately felt the smell of mold and dust. "Wow. This house is in serious need of some air!" I was in a little hall. It had some natural light coming from the window beside the door and the light coming from the other side of the house, where I assumed was the kitchen. It wasn't that strong because the glass next to the door was yellow and the house was surrounded by trees. In front of me were the stairs that led to the upper floor. Its steps where made of wood. At my right was the living room, filled with white sheets covering what I assumed was the furniture that was never used. It had this great fireplace and several closed windows. I immediately went there and opened them, urging the awful smell to get out. There was a cold breeze but it felt nice.

Before I began lifting the sheets I decided to scan the rest of the house. From the living room I could go to a corridor that led to the kitchen and a little office. It was furnished with a beautiful old looking desk, some bookshelves and books and an ostentatious chair. Those weren't covered. I went for the books. _They look so old. I wonder if I can find any classics here… _I was disappointed. _They are all medical books. A doctor lived in this house. Nice._ I opened one and found a date: _1820. Wow! That's old!_ I put the book down and got out of there. Next to the office was the kitchen. It was pretty tiny, with old wooden cabinets, an old sink and a wooden island with some stools. "This is not bad. I can cook in here." The kitchen had a big window but I could only see more trees. From the kitchen I could return to the front hall, where I had a small bathroom with a little yellow window, an old toilet and washstand. I then went upstairs. There I found a little hall with two doors, a window and a little flight of stairs. To my right there was a huge bathroom, fully equipped. And everything looked so clean! I immediately loved the bathtub. "Man I could use a nice hot shower in there right now!". I turned to the bedroom and I fell in love. The room had a big window with a little bench, something you see in movies but you never get to have one. There was also an old bed, made of iron and its head had beautiful iron flowers, unfortunately it was covered with cobwebs. The bedside tables were made of dark wood and had Victorian like lamps. _Actually, if I think about it, the entire house has lamps._ "I wonder if they work… yeah right.". I tentatively turned the switch on and for my surprise there was light! "What the hell?". The house was abandoned for God knows how long and it had electricity? I got out of the room and noticed the little flight of stairs. They led to a door. _The attic!_ I climbed them, put my hand on the handle and turned it… nothing. I pushed it, pulled it… nothing. "Hum… maybe its key is somewhere around the house.". With that task in my mental checklist I decided to check every lamp in the house. Almost all of them were working apart from some who had no light bulb or it was broken. "I wonder… if there is light maybe there is water too.". I ran to the kitchen and turned the faucet. The pipes made a little noise but after a few seconds water started to run. "What the hell is going on here? No one thought about turning these things off? What if there was a shortcut? Flooding? Oh but it would be perfect if there was hot water! That would be asking for too much…". I quickly ran upstairs and into the bathroom. I turned the hot water faucet and there it was, after a minute I had hot water! I felt so happy! From there I decided I would see what furniture I had, what I needed to buy and then eat, take a hot bubble bath and go to sleep. The next morning I would call Jacob, find some place with Internet connection and pay a visit to Ikea's website.

After a thorough scan of my house I had a pretty long list of what needed to be bought and repaired. Jacob was facing some hard work! I was so thankful he offered to help! Feeling my spirits up, I prepared my bubble bath with my strawberry scented shower gel. It had begun to rain and it was heavy, I could hear the rain hitting the roof pretty hard. I prayed I wouldn't have any leaks, especially since I hadn't found the attic key. As I was entering the tub I heard a noise coming from upstairs, like a thump. _What the hell was that?_ I immediately turned on my ninja mode and got out of the bathroom. I walked towards the steps that led to the attic and I could hear wood squeaking above me. I was feeling pretty scared but I also didn't know what to do. I wouldn't call Jacob, especially in this weather, plus it could be nothing and I would look like a foolish little girl. I stood there a few more minutes but heard nothing more. Putting that past me I returned to the bathroom and relaxed between the bubbles. When the water ran cold I got out, put on my fluffy pajamas and went to bed, covered with a blanket I had brought with me from Forks. Sleep came easily.

I woke up startled. I had heard something crashing. It was pretty dark. The wind was blowing hard and the rain was heavy. _Maybe something fell outside, a tree or my chimney_. I reached for the lamp in the bedside table to turn it on. Nothing. Click on, off. Click on, off. _Hum… maybe electricity went down with the weather_. I stood there awake for a few minutes, trying to figure out if anything really bad had happened. After a moment, I blamed everything on the weather and went back to sleep.

I woke up with light coming in through the window. The blinds were broken so it was still pretty early I was sure. I picked up my phone to see what time it was and sure enough, it was seven thirty in the morning. Decided I had had enough sleep, I stood and went to the bathroom for my morning routine. When I turned on the faucet to wash my face no water came out. "This is weird… Maybe the noise I heard was a tree falling, and it ruined the water tank or something…", and then I remembered when I tried to turn on the light during the night, so I went for the light switch on the wall… Nothing. "Man! I knew this was too much luck!". Because I had nothing to eat and nothing to drink, and nothing else to do, I decided to call Jacob and pray he was up already.

A very sleepy British voice greeted me "Hello? Who is this?". "Hi Jacob, it's me, Bella. I'm so sorry I woke you!". His tone instantly changed, and so did his accent, which amused me "Oh Hi Bella! Yeah you woke me. But that's okay. I told you to call me anytime right? So it's my fault really" he laughed, "So, tell me, what can I do for you in this fine morning?" he said all gentlemanly. "Well, you see. Some things happened. I have no electricity and no water and I think the storm last night broke the water tank and the cables and I have no way to get to the center and I have nothing to eat…", "Wow! Slow down there! I said it's okay. I'll be there in… give me thirty minutes okay?", "Thank you so much. And I'm sorry again!". He laughed and hung up.

So I had thirty minutes. I put on some clothes and boots, glad the weather was looking like the one in Forks. _At_ _least I don't have to spend money on clothes!_ I decided to go outside and inspect the surroundings to see if I could figure out where the noise I had heard the night before came. From what I could tell no tree had fallen and the chimney was in its place. So what could have caused the power and the water to go off? When I found the water tank I was shocked. It was completely wrecked! It looked like it had been smashed pretty hard, plus the pipes that led to the inside were hanging loose. _This has human hand written all over it_. If this happened to the water tank probably it also happened to the cables. _But who would do such a thing? And why?_ I had no more time to think about it because I heard a honk. I went to the front of the house and there was Jacob, waving from the inside of his truck. I ran to it because it was starting to rain again. When I got in I was immediately assaulted by the smell of food. "Hot coffee and a doughnut, milady." he said with an accent and a huge smile. "Mmm… Good morning to you too! And thank you so much! I'm really hungry! Oh, and I'm so sorry I woke you", "Nah, forget it. It was nothing! So, tell me everything you were trying to tell me earlier" and we took off. So I went on, telling him about the list I made with all I needed, how I was in need of some place with Internet connection so I could buy furniture, appliances, essentials, look for a job. And then I told him about the water and electricity and what I found in the morning. "Wait, what? Are you telling me you had water? Hot water? And electricity? How is that possible? No one lives there!", "I know right? I found that weird too. There could have been a flood or a fire. But this morning I had nothing. And I'm sure someone found out about me and put everything down. It probably wasn't legal you know?" He hummed and for a moment there was silence in the truck. Then he spoke, "Okay, so here's what we're going to do. You can go to the coffee shop because they have Internet there, you're going to give me the list of everything that needs to be fixed around the house and I'll take care of that. I told you I'm a pretty good handyman!", and he winked at me. "Well, you do own a hardware store!" I mused. "I'm so thankful I found you! I'm being lucky. And I'll make sure I pay you for everything! You don't have to worry!", "Oh please! We can talk about that later!". We parted in the little square. "Oh! And don't forget to add to the list the water tank and the cables!". He waved and disappeared into his store.

The coffee shop was almost empty. It was a pretty cute place, with a few wooden tables and matching chairs, stone walls, a wooden ceiling with a lot of scattered lamps that created a certain mood. Some soft music was playing in the background. I assumed Jacob had bought my breakfast there. A middle aged woman approached me and asked if I wanted anything, smiling. "Yes. Hum, I would like an orange juice and… a toast.", I was still hungry, blame me! "Of course.", "Oh, and how can I access the Internet here?", "You just have to find it in your computer. It doesn't require a password." And she smiled at me. I felt I needed to introduce myself since we were going to see a lot of each other. "I'm Isabella, by the way.", "I know who you are dear! You were the subject of every conversation yesterday afternoon! I'm Elizabeth." and with that she left me to prepare my breakfast… the second.

After I ordered everything I needed from Ikea, which was going to be delivered the next day, _I like how things work here_, I decided I needed to go to the supermarket and buy more things. The supermarket wasn't huge but it was pretty decent. It had everything one needs. So I bought a few groceries that didn't require fridge or cooking, some essentials, cleaning products, and went to the hardware store to find out if Jacob had everything he needed.

He was with his dad, and they both looked very busy. "Hey Bella! So how was your first night as an English woman? I'm sure the storm made you homesick!" he laughed. "Don't remind me! It was pretty heavy! I was afraid the roof might crash! But luckily it is still there. Apart from the water and electricity.", "Yeah, Jacob told me. That sucks. But don't worry, he'll fix everything for you! He's great. He does all this kind of stuff around the village.". "So, Bella, I was thinking, we could go back to your house and I could begin immediately. The sooner we start, the sooner you'll have your house ready!". I was feeling pretty excited with the prospect of having everything done.

While Jacob was working outside, fixing the little wooden gate, I was inside cleaning and dusting. I was done with the living room and the office when Jacob came inside "Hey, Bella, I need to go to the attic so I can fix the broken window.". _Attic, damn_. I had forgotten about the sounds I had heard the night before, when I was about to take a bath. I wouldn't mention it to him. It was nothing I was sure. "Oh… hum… I don't have the key and hum… I don't really want to break in or ruin the door so…", "Oh don't worry, I can use some tools. Come, let's go." So we climbed the stairs. When we reached the door he tried to open it like I had done. Nothing. So he grabbed the tools and began to work on it but nothing happened. "Maybe it's locked from the inside. I'll try from the outside then." He said resigned. I went back to cleaning and he to fixing. The window also didn't open from the outside and Jacob couldn't see past it since it had wood boards covering it. He covered the broken glass with some plastic so the rain wouldn't get in and decided to work on it another time.

It was 6p.m. when we called it a day. I had the entire house sparkling, _except the attic_, and most things were fixed. I even had running water and electricity again. Jacob promised he would call the Internet service to install it in the house the next day and he would come by to fix the blinds and help me settle everything after the delivery men left. He then left me to enjoy my almost decent looking house. I was so tired I didn't enjoy anything except for a sandwich, another bubble bath and my pajamas. I was lying in bed, listening to the rain, getting ready to sleep, when I heard something else. _Fuck, it's footsteps_. I completely froze. My bedroom door was closed so I felt somewhat protected. The noise came from above me, again. _It's that damn attic! _I need to get in there! I listened closely. The wooden floor was squeaking, just like when someone steps on it. Like the night before, after a few minutes it ceased. Eventually I fell asleep, certain the next day I would get in that attic.

I woke up full of energy. The night's events were forgotten since I had a lot to think of. I was about to have the house all pretty and full of new, shiny and nice things and it wasn't a stupid attic that was going to ruin my day! So I took a quick shower, got dressed in comfy clothes and went downstairs to grab something to eat. The delivery men were arriving at 10am so I had half an hour still. I went outside to look at the "garden". Jacob told me it was the only thing he didn't do for he didn't enjoy being stung by insects and the wild didn't do much for him. _A man who lives in a place like this doesn't enjoy nature, oh the irony_. I was thinking where to begin, what to do about it, when the truck arrived, followed by Jacob's truck. Turns out the delivery men didn't know how to get to the house either so Jacob helped them.

It took some hours to unload everything and put the furniture in order. They were all very polite and Jacob helped. I didn't do any heavy work but everything from towels to little appliances and objects were my task. I was in love with my new place. For the first time I was the one who chose how the place would look. In Forks everything was my father's taste. Some things were even from the time he and my mother were together. So, being able to make decisions on something as simple as the shower curtain was great.

When the delivery men left, Jacob stayed. He had brought me some groceries now that I had a fridge, a stove and a microwave. Also he wanted to check on a few things and wait for the Internet technician. Because it was raining badly, Jacob didn't have the chance to fix the blinds; instead, he just supervised the Internet technician. He asked me if I had found the key to the attic door while I was putting everything in place and I sadly told him I hadn't. He left around 5pm and told me to call should anything happen. I was excited about everything. I went upstairs to pick my laptop and settled in my cute office. The Internet worked just find so I updated myself with newspapers, e-mails, funny videos and job offers until it was time for dinner. I ate happily in my new kitchen, listening to the music playing in the radio and the rain falling outside. I watched the news online and then went upstairs to take a shower and enjoy my new bed sheets and quilt.

I was lying in bed, ready to sleep, and I found myself listening for something coming from the attic. This time I wasn't listening to anything but rain. _Why do I feel disappointed? Because you're insane. Oh right._ Maybe that was it. I felt asleep in no time.

I woke up feeling hungry and thirsty. I turned on the light and checked my phone, it was 4am. I went downstairs anyway to grab something. It had stopped raining and the sky was surprisingly clear. The moon was filling the house with some light, allowing me to roam around without the need to turn on more lights than the one in my room. I went to the kitchen and grabbed 4 cookies and a glass of milk. _These should do it!_ I left the kitchen and began climbing the stairs, back to my room, where I would eat and be warm at the same time. When I was reaching the top, I saw someone. The person was trying to open the door to the attic and was in a hurry, and looked like he or she was having some difficulty. I stopped, frozen. I was in total panic. _Should I shout? Should I say something? Do I move? Do I run to my room? It's dangerous to run with cookies and milk in my hands. I'm going downstairs_. When I put my foot on the step the wood squeaked and the person looked at me. I dropped everything. _Damn! He saw me_. He was tall, lean and with a somewhat big hair, that pointed towards the air instead of falling in his face. I couldn't tell much from his face except he was extremely pale and had nice bone structure. But his eyes! They were the thing that stood out. They were shinning a bright orange. It didn't look healthy. While I stood there, my feet covered in milk, he managed to open the door and quickly disappeared behind it, leaving me standing there, hunger and thirst forgotten. I returned to my room, not knowing what to do. The rain began to fall again, this time accompanied by thunders. I heard no more and slept no more that night.

Two months had passed since I had arrived to Bibury. I hadn't slept for two months. Coincidence? Not in the slightest. After the third night here, the night I saw him, I wasn't able to sleep. Not that I had nightmares or anything. I admit, I was scared when I saw him right there, but I'm not one for having scary dreams. Every night I lay in my bed, prepared to let myself be enveloped by weariness, but deep sleep never came. I was aware of my surroundings, always ready to jump off of bed and beat the crap out of him, but after that night I never saw him again. My house was fine, no more broken pipes or cut cables.

But even if I didn't have those issues anymore, the noises from the attic never ceased.

Sometimes I swear I could hear water running but it was raining here most of the time and I couldn't find the courage to get out of the bed and check if he was using the bathroom or was just the rain falling. It probably was him, which probably explained why I found the bathroom so clean the first time I came to the house. I couldn't bring myself to call the police. I wasn't really in danger. He didn't attack me, there wasn't anything missing. Never had been. I couldn't even be sure he was the one who broke the things in the first place. But I had the feeling he was upstairs. I only heard noises at night. And maybe it was stupid but being here by myself, surrounded by nothing but trees, I felt safe knowing I wasn't alone at night.

I had managed to find a job. It wasn't as a writer, like I always wanted. I worked for a publisher in London. The good thing was I could work from home. I would only need to go to London from time to time. I also had come close to Billy and Jacob. I would use their services as a taxi and they would come here often and I would cook them dinner. They were just two wild boys… who enjoyed a home cooked meal from time to time. I never told them about my… tenant. Jacob would frequently ask me: "So, Bella, have you found the key to the attic yet?". I would quickly dismiss him, "I haven't really been searching." Truth be told I had. I searched everywhere and I didn't find it.

From time to time I would go up the stairs to the attic door and see if it was unlocked or if I could hear anything. No such luck. I gave up. He had the only key I was sure.

I was lying in my bed one night, the rain was falling, as usual. And I was listening for the usual noises. That night they weren't as strong and as frequent. Maybe _he isn't up there? Maybe it is just rain this time_. It probably was the rain. I couldn't really sleep either way. I looked at the clock: 5am. _Great! I've been here for three hours just staring at the ceiling_. I decided to go to my office downstairs and work on a new project I had been assigned.

I rose from my bed, put on my fluffy slippers and my baggy hot sweater and walked out of my bedroom. As I crossed the hall I noticed foot prints on my floor. They were wet foot prints of a pair of boots. And they were covered with mud. But they were only on this hall. I looked at the stairs: clean. _Where did he come from? He at least could clean them!_ _I'm not going to! Wait! I just confirmed I am okay with a stranger living in my house! I'm even pouting about cleaning!_ I wasn't okay, but I wasn't capable of facing him then. It was better that way really. Let him be. I was going to pretend he didn't exist and if he wanted to acknowledge me, he knew where to find me. It was like having a roommate who had the night shift when you worked during the day. So, has if nothing had happened, I went to my office. When I got there I could hear water running. _Does he know I can hear it too?_ I'm sure he did. He was taking a shower. I promised myself I would leave him alone though I was dying to go upstairs and knock him down. After while, silence settled in and I was finally able to work on my project.

It was 8am when I decided it was time for me to get some sleep. I had done a pretty good job and I could congratulate myself with a good rest. As I was walking to the stairs my stomach complained so I turned to the kitchen to make some toast and hot milk. As I was arranging my meal I began thinking about my roommate. _Well, what would happen if I left him a little meal?_ I smiled as I wrote "Enjoy your breakfast." in a piece of paper and left it next to a plate with some toast and a mug of milk. I needed some distraction and turning him into a human being who ate somehow made me more comfortable. When I reached to top of the stairs the foot prints were gone. _Good boy!_

I slept for almost ten hours. It was 6pm when I woke up. The house was silent. It felt nice! I stretched and yawned. Though it was already dark outside I decided to take a shower and call Jacob so he could take me to "the center". I was in need of some groceries. And if was going to cook for my roommate… I immediately reminded the note I left him. I put on my sweater and quickly walked out of the room. As I reached the kitchen I looked at the counter. There was no plate and no mug. The note was still there. I picked it up and noticed there was something else written, in a much prettier handwriting. "Enjoy your garden."._What?_ I walked to the front door, and opened it quickly. It was cold. I turned on the entrance light and stepped outside and my jaw dropped. In place of the jungle I had grown used to in the past two months I now had a clean yard. It was not full of pretty bushes and flowerbeds but it didn't have the tall, wild and ugly weeds it used to. It was covered by clean soil and in the middle it had a rosebush, filled with red roses. My heart began beating fast. _How did he do it? When? Last night? It was raining hard! That's why he messed the whole floor! Why did he do it?_ I returned home and sat on the couch. I needed to think. Okay, first, he was going to catch a cold. I was sure. He took a hot shower after it but that wasn't enough. And was he eating properly? I needed to get him some medicine and a hot soup maybe? _Oh look at you _Bella_! All worried about some guy who creepily lives in your attic and you don't even know_. I was going to call Jacob and… _but he'll see my new garden! I have to lie to him_. In an hour I was in "the center". He talked to me all the way there but I wasn't really listening. Except for him telling me I had done a great job with the garden, and me thanking him, telling him it took me a lot of time and hard work, he talked about some girl he "fancied". I smiled at the right times and hummed too. I only wanted to get to the supermarket. Once there I bought cold medicine, some pre-made soup and all the things I needed for me. I then went to the hardware store to greet Billy. Around 9pm I was at home again. I walked through my new garden with a smile. I knew just how to thank him. I made some dinner and ate in my office, watching the news over the Internet, nothing new. I cleaned up the kitchen and began preparing my thanks. I placed the pre‑made soup on the counter and at its side the cold medicine. Then I arranged my leftovers in a plate. Finally the note:

"Warm the soup. And take the cold medicine. I'm sure you'll need it. If you feel like it, I made some pasta. Thank you for the garden. You didn't have too."

I went upstairs, took a nice shower and went to bed. Before I drifted to sleep I heard him get up. _Good morning to you sir._

I woke up relaxed. The night had been calm. I had heard him come downstairs. I knew it because I heard the wood squeaking. I didn't listen well or long enough to hear him come up again. I got up slowly and found the light a little weird for the morning. It was already afternoon! The sun was about to set, not rise. I was in shock! I was probably spending too much time worrying about him instead of me, all those nights without sleeping and my sleep hours all mixed. Well, at least now I was well rested… I went downstairs. As I walked past the living room to the kitchen I saw something with my peripheral vision. There was someone on the couch. He was on my couch. I couldn't hear him breathing. I took a peak. He was completely covered with the blanket I had brought from Forks, except for his feet. He had nice feet. _Damn! I can't see him this way!_ My breathing got heavy as I came closer. He could be sleeping but I didn't see his chest moving. _Maybe he's dead!_ What was I going to do? I could wake him up. No, I didn't what to startle him. I couldn't. He was sick. I decided to walk very slowly to the kitchen. The medicine wasn't there and neither was the soup or the pasta. That's why he crashed on the couch, the cold medicine made him fall asleep. The note was there, once again. He had written me back:

"Thank you for being so thoughtful. You needn't have. And don't thank me. It was the least I could do after what I did to you."

So he ruined the pipes and water tank and cables. It's not like I didn't know it. I mean, who else could have done it?

I picked another piece of paper and replied:

"Feeling guilty were you? I think you are forgiven, though I would like to know why you did it. To be honest, there are a lot of things I would like to know. For starters, it would be nice if you told me who you are."

I then arranged a quick breakfast and retreated to my office. Before I sat down to eat and read the morning news I hit my foot in the desk. "Ouch! Shit! Fuck this hurts!" As I was screaming and cursing I heard a loud noise coming from the living room. He heard me! I shut up immediately and listened as he quickly went to the kitchen and then ran upstairs. _He is awake now_. Well, at least he had seen my note.

By 8pm I was finished with my project. After sending it to my boss in London I got up and went to the kitchen. It had stopped raining, so I dressed something warm, made dinner, grabbed a chair and went to my new garden to enjoy the meal and listen to the sounds of the night. As I got there my jaw fell again. Now, opposite to the rose bush was a bed of white tulips. Being sick didn't stop him. I enjoyed the meal thinking about the man in the attic.

I was feeling like I needed a shower and a nap. When I got to the bathroom, there was a white tulip near the sink. _Aww, how sweet_… _Right, because a guy you still don't know, living in your attic for god knows how long it's the sweetest thing you can have._

I decided I needed to write another note to him:

"I'm sorry I woke you up this afternoon. Now you know I have a dirty mouth. I hope you are feeling better. And thank you for the tulips."

I went downstairs to leave the note in the kitchen counter and went back to my office. Since I wasn't sleepy at all, it was time for some fun. I put on my earphones and watched a movie.

I woke up startled. I had been dreaming a lot about orange eyes. It was morning already and my ears were hurting. I took a look at the clock: 9am. _Right on time for some breakfast_.

When I got to the kitchen my note was there but there was no answer. _Hum, maybe he fell asleep just like me_. I made pancakes and ate them as I read the morning news and then called Jacob so he could take me to the center. I was in need of some new books.

When I got home, I went to the office to put my new books in the shelves. Passing the kitchen I noticed the note was still on the counter. I picked it up. _Still no answer_.

I spent the rest of the day doing some cleaning and laundry, always thinking about him and if he was okay.

The house was strangely silent. I couldn't hear him in the attic. _Maybe he left?_ It seemed he only left at night, when he did left. By 2am he wasn't moving yet and I was tired. I went downstairs to check my email. The food I left him from dinner and the note were still on the counter. I had a message from my boss with my new assignment. _Tomorrow_. I went back to my room and fell asleep in no time.

_I can't hear him. Is he okay? It's been a week since I could feel his presence in the attic_. He never read my note thanking him for the tulips and he didn't eat the food I left him. Did I do something wrong? I began playing my last steps with him. I gave him cold medicine. He seemed to appreciate it. Then I let him sleep on my couch. I woke him up with my cursing and shouting. Since then I stopped hearing him. The last note he read from me said he was forgiven but I wished he would explain why he did it and who he was. Maybe that was it. He felt pressured by my asking him who he was. It could only be it. _I scared him and now he's gone_.


	2. 2 The Beast

**I do not own anything Twilight related.**

**Hope you enjoy!**

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**Edward**

When I was 8 I had everything a child my age could ask for. I had lots of car collections and farms with all its animals. I specially loved the horses. I had soldiers and boats. But my favorite was the huge train track that circled the entire attic. It came with a village, its inhabitants, trees, houses, train stations. It was amazing. I was totally spoiled. I also loved playing outside even though it was raining most of the time. I used to come home dirty and my mother would scold me. But I would do it again the next day. I didn't have that many friends outside of school because I lived far. My house was pretty secluded, surrounded by trees. My mother got sick very easily and the doctor used to say fresh air made people better. I forgot to mention, my father was the doctor. He was the one who decided to move us to Bibury. I think I had everything I wanted because of that. They knew there wasn't much around here so they did what they could to make sure I had everything and felt happy. Truth is I was happy. And what made me the most happy was that I had the attic all to myself. The house wasn't big; it only had a bedroom, and my father needed the office for his work, so my parents thought it was a good idea to give me the attic. That way I could have all my things up there, no need to take more space. Space the house didn't have.

As I was growing up, my mother got sicker. She spent most her days in bed, only coming down to cook for us at night. I remember my father was constantly studying, and he sometimes disappeared from the house for hours, somewhere behind the house, so he could find a cure for her I suppose. And why do I say that? Because there were some days when he would come into the house wearing a big smile and he would call me, discretely "Edward, come here. Come to the attic, I think this time I did it!" We would go there then and he would stick a needle in my arm. Sometimes it hurt and others it didn't. Sometimes his smile grew bigger, sometimes it faded. I never quite understood that. Maybe it was something he saw in me. There weren't mirrors in the house so I couldn't tell if there was something wrong with me. My reflection on the windows didn't tell much. My father told me it was because he didn't want my mother to see herself. I understood him. There were days she really didn't look her best. When he smiled after sticking the needle in my arm, he would run to my mother and do the same to her. She sometimes improved, but she always ended up getting sick again.

I began to feel sick too after a while. Not that I wasn't happy, I still was, except I couldn't get out of the house. During the day, that is. I quit school and my father taught me things at home. He didn't know how to explain to me why I couldn't go out during the day and I just knew I couldn't go. The light hurt my eyes and my skin felt like it was on fire. Even if I stayed home, blinds closed, I would feel really tired. I also lost my appetite. Of course I had to eat, but most of the time it made me feel sick and I would vomit. One night my father suggested I tried raw meat. I didn't vomit it. In fact, I loved it. It disgusted me though. My father kept sticking needles in my arms. He needed to make my mother better. That was all he said.

When I was 15 things changed. My mother passed away and my father was crushed. I couldn't help but feel somewhat guilty. After all, I was always the first to try my father's medicine. If it didn't work on me, then it wouldn't work on my mother. We didn't tell anyone. We went behind the house, walked a few steps into the trees and buried her there. I promised I would go there every day for the rest of my life and leave her some flowers.

I noticed my father stopped going out of the house too since my mother died. He used to call a woman, give her a list of things he needed and she would leave, returning after a while with what he had ordered. But she wouldn't stay. He also didn't stop studying and he kept going behind the house. I once tried to follow him and find out where he was going, my mother was still alive. He harshly told me to never follow him again. He was still making medicine, but for who? I felt fine, apart from not being able to go outside during the day and having to eat raw meat. It was becoming more of a sacrifice really. What I wanted was actually the blood; I didn't care for the meat. I just ate it so my father would think I was fine. I vomited it later. I had a feeling my father was testing on himself. He stopped eating, or at least I didn't see him eat, and he also stopped talking. I would entertain myself around the house, reading his books, cleaning a little, walking outside into the woods. I even began hunting a little. Sometimes I would eat what I would catch right there. It made me feel ashamed of myself, but I just couldn't help it. I slept during the day. I had a good life; it was just different from everyone else's.

My father made sure I didn't leave. He scared me to death when I got like this. He told me no one went out at night, except murders, dishonest people and wild animals. Everything and everyone that mattered was awake during the day, which made me lose the will to go out at night. What good could it make? I wouldn't meet anyone good and could be attacked by some bear or something. I didn't want to die! I just made sure every day my mother had new flowers in her grave.

Since he began behaving strangely I began to pay attention to how he looked. Since my mother died he began to lose hair. I would check regularly if my hair was falling but on the contrary, it was long and strong, I could feel it. His skin also began to wrinkle. Mine felt normal. He began to bend, his back forming an arch. I was tall and full of energy all the time. _He isn't testing on himself! He is aging! And I'm not._

One night, I was 23, my father called me to his office. It was the first time I was hearing him speak for a long time. He usually just hummed or nodded when I asked him something, and whenever I tried to talk to him he just ignored me and went to his office. I almost didn't recognize his voice when he spoke. "Edward, there is something I need to tell you, son." He pointed to the chair in front of him. His tone was serious. I was actually feeling pretty scared. He scared me all the time, but when he spoke it was worse. I rarely went to his office when he was there. I liked being there reading, but by myself. The office had this lush red carpet; it was so comfortable underneath my feet. The desk was huge, made of dark wood, and it had incredible details. The main chair matched the carpet and made me feel like a king. It had several bookshelves filled with books. Most were medical. I felt at ease in there… alone. His presence made me nervous.

When I sat down I took a close look at my father. He looked old. I mean, really old. His eyes and mouth were drooping, the hair he had left was thin and white. His skin was full of wrinkles and little spots. His eyebrows were white too. His hands were shaking a little. Was he nervous? "Please father, speak.". As he spoke I listened to the shocking story that was our life.

"You mother was a patient of mine. She came to me with an illness. No doctor could find out what she had. She had trouble staying awake during the day and when it was sunny her eyes hurt and she felt her skin itch. The only thing she could eat without feeling sick was raw meat. She was desperate for help. I took care of her for some years and eventually we fell in love. I knew there was a change we wouldn't be married long, but I still wanted to keep looking for something that could make her feel better. Sometimes I found some herbal mixture that made her better. And it did… for a few days. Then she would go back to how she was. When she got pregnant with you it was the happiest day of our lives. I was afraid what she had would pass to you, but you didn't show any signs. One night, you were still a little baby, I found her crying. She just wouldn't stop. I consoled her and begged her to tell me what was going on. She began screaming she couldn't take it any longer and that she was really sorry and had to tell me. And she did."…

My father took a pause there. _What? You can't just stop there! Keep going!_ "She told me… she told me she was a hundred and twelve years old."."What? How was that possible? How could she have given birth with that age?", "From what I gathered, your mother had the body of a young woman. She told me she stopped aging when she was around 22 years old. She noticed her hair stopped growing but didn't fall either. If she cut it, it would grow back to where it was but never past that. Her skin never aged and she never felt sick and never felt any pain. The only thing she couldn't do was go outside during the day. She also never got hurt." That got me thinking. My hair didn't change for a few months. I also didn't have any cuts or bruises. I had the other conditions my mother had. "So… it was hereditary.", "I'm afraid so. Yes. But one day, I found the cure for it. Around the time you were 5. It took me 4 years but I found it. So I gave it to her. I didn't know what the consequences would be. After a day or two she got sick. She was beginning to age again. Her body was recovering all those lost years. That is why you saw her looking so bad. She immediately regretted it. As soon as she realized she was getting older and was going to die she panicked. She screamed at me she wanted to go back to how she was; she didn't want to lose both of us. So I struggled to create an antidote. I knew I was losing her so I moved us here so I could dedicate my entire time to her. I also knew there was a chance you would become like her so I used you to test the drugs I created. I know it was an awful thing for a father to do to his son, but what other choices did I have? I couldn't risk her life, and if you didn't have what she did, you wouldn't suffer with it. So I injected you with every drug I created and observed. There was a way to tell if it would work. Every time the drug was working, your eyes would change color. They would become a dark orange. That was a sign for your mother had orange eyes when I met her. The drug accelerated the process. So I would go to her. She would be fine for a few days but it just didn't last. Eventually she just got old and died of natural causes."

I was going to speak but he interrupted me "And then I began to notice the changes in you. Your eyes changed color, you never came to me complaining about anything, not even some cut from when you went out into the woods. Your eyes began to hurt when you saw daylight… You felt sick eating cooked food. Tell me, how are you feeling about the raw meat?" Was he actually asking me something? "Hum… I don't care for it. I just eat it for the blood. Sometimes I go hunting and I like to suck the blood out of the animals I catch."… He hummed and nodded. "That's what I feared. Edward… you've become a creature of the night. You are bound to live forever. I've been reading about this a lot. At first I thought it was insane, but the evidences are clear. I am going to die soon, I know it. But you, my son, are going to be here for a long time. And I've been working, researching, so that one day you will have a choice."


	3. author's note

**Soooo…**

**Hi there! =) i know this is not a chapter. Sorry!**

**I just wanted to thank everyone who added me to their alert list and favorites. Also who reviewed what I gave you so far.**

**It made me so happy to see my mailbox with so many notifications that guess what! I'm going to continue writing Monster in the Attic. I have a lot of ideas already; I just have to put them in words.**

**So stay with me! I promise you'll hear from the orange eyed monster soon!**

**Thanks everyone! :D**


	4. 3 Unleashed

**Hi there!**

**I want to thank everyone who added this story to their alert list, who reviewed and who added to the favorites. I was so happy i decided to write a little more.**

**Edward wanted to tell you more of his story so here it is.**

**I'll see you at the end.**

**Enjoy!**

**Oh, right, i do not own anything that does not belong to me. I think this will do the job.**

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**Edward**

A few days after my 25th anniversary, my father passed away. I was expecting it for some time. He was really sick and old and near the end he was completely depressed, but he never gave up trying to find a medicine that could give me mortality. He kept modifying the one he had created for my mother so it would work on me, but he never succeeded. The thing that most frustrated him though, and that helped him fall into a no turning back path to death, was that he was finally able to create the formula that could have made my mother return to what she was, a creature of the night, after just a few weeks she died. He didn't tell me until I was 24 and he never forgave himself for not discovering it sooner.

The night he told me that he also showed me where he went all those years, behind the house and into the woods. My father told me it was time to show me where he had been developing all his research, for when he was gone he wanted me to continue his work. I followed him in the dark, he must have known the path by memory because he didn't need any light. We walked a few steps into the woods and he stopped near my mother's grave. "We're here". His voice was low and raspy. I couldn't believe that all those years that I had been going there to leave some flowers to my mother I was so close but yet so far. He lowered himself, scratched a little of soil and grabbed a handle. He pushed it and opened a hatch. I followed him as we descended some wooden steps. What I saw completely blew me away. I was in a large room under the ground. The ceiling was covered by wooden boards and the floor and walls by stone. There were lamps scattered along the walls and in the ceiling so the room had perfect lighting. There were several tables filled with glasses of many shapes, medical supplies, liquids of different colors and Bunsen burners. It was a laboratory like the ones I had seen in the books he had in his office. There were also some cages, ones had rabbits inside while others were empty. "You need to pay close attention to what I'm going to show you, because like I told you, you need to continue the work I've been doing". So I did what he told me, I did my best to follow his explanations. I was familiar with most procedures and terms because I liked reading his books, and when you don't have anyone to talk to or anything special to do, you spend a lot of time reading. He also had everything written down in journals, which made it easier later.

With the formula he developed after my mother had passed away, he infected small animals. That explained the rabbits, poor creatures. I already felt bad for killing them just for the sake of having their blood, but they also had to suffer my father's treatment because of me. It made me angry. The antidotes he created never worked. Either they didn't do anything or they made the rabbits age really fast and die really fast. That's not what he wanted for me. He wanted something that made me begin to age as if nothing had happened. It was supposed to make me change naturally, normally, instead of making up for all the lost years.

After the night he told me the whole truth, I began to see my life with different eyes. I asked my father to get us some mirrors because I really wanted to see how I looked like. Surprisingly, it didn't depress me. Two years had passed and I looked exactly the same. I had no beard, which meant no shaving, no matter how much I cut my hair it grew back in a few hours to how it was before so after a while I gave up doing it, I had no signs of aging. Though it had its disadvantages, like not being able to stay awake during the day or being exposed to sunlight or having my skin always colder than a normal human being, it had its benefits no doubt. Plus I didn't need to cook or drink anything but rabbit blood so it was fine for me.

I buried my father close to my mother. I knew they loved each other very much so I assumed it's what they would have wanted: to stay together for all eternity. It made me somewhat jealous. I was a 25 year old man that had never met anyone, specifically a woman. I felt I was missing that kind of relationship. Since my father's death I completely isolated myself. We orchestrated the entire thing making the few people who knew of us believe we had moved away. For all intents and purposes the house was empty so I couldn't just hang around the house. I closed every window and every door. The only rooms of the house I used were the office, the attic and the bathroom. I had thought about taking the books I needed to the attic and confine myself to the upper floor, but it was such a nice room, with such good memories, that I allowed myself the pleasure of being there.

5 years after my father's death I had developed a routine: I slept in the attic during the day. Around the time the sun set I would go hunting. I would leave the house through the window on the upper floor hall, get to the ground through a tree that was really close (it wasn't like I was going to hurt myself anyway), go hunting in the woods, return through the same path, take a hot shower, which made my skin warmer and made me feel a little more human and lifted my spirits up, go to the laboratory work on my father's project, and go to sleep by the time the sun would rise. There was a problem though: I was tired of it. For 5 years I had accomplished absolutely nothing. I didn't have my father's skills, my library was so out of date it was sad, I was completely alone and depressed, I didn't have any help or support or encouragement. So one night, I was on the laboratory and I got angry. A rabbit had just died 30 seconds after I had administrated a formula I had been working on for a month. So I destroyed everything: all the glasses, liquids, tables, journals. Everything was gone. I got out of the lab running and went into the woods in desperate need of some distraction.

it wasn't dark but it wasn't light enough that I would have to go back. I had an hour or so to roam around the woods until I had to go home. I was searching for a raccoon because lately I had only been drinking from squirrels, owls, and other small animals (I needed to refrain on the rabbits for I needed them for my researches and they were becoming scarce), when I heard a loud ruffling. My hearing and smelling had improved since I spent so much time in the dark. Some senses are heightened when you don't have others, and since I couldn't see anything, I could hear and smell well. It definitely wasn't a small animal. I walked slowly in the direction of the sound as not to disturb it. It could be a deer. I never had had the courage to kill one of those. They were too big and strong, and though I carried with me a knife I felt I couldn't stand a chance. But that night I was full of rage, I needed to put all my frustrations out, I was feeling powerful! So when I spotted a young roe deer, I made my mind up. _I'm sorry_. I walked so slowly it didn't notice me. I was used to hunt rabbits, which is difficult since they are excellent runners. So I approached it, and jumped on it, cut its throat with my knife and the blood began to flood and I couldn't help but drink it until the body was empty. I felt so happy, so alive! That dawn I made up my mind, _from now on, I'm only drinking deer!_

When I returned to the house all the energy I had was fading. The sun was almost rising and I needed to go to bed quickly or I would pass out right where I was. It had happened sometimes, when I got too caught up in work that I would forget to return to the house. I don't know why I never slept in the laboratory, I guess I just missed my attic and felt protected there. If I was too late I would just fall to the ground unconscious, wherever I was. It could be a problem if I was in a spot where sunlight would hit me during the day, but fortunately it never happened since I made sure there was no chance of light getting inside the house.

When I woke up I felt strange. That day had been the first I had dreamt in a long time. It was a weird dream, I felt weird. It also was later than usual, much later. I had missed a part of my night already. Maybe I could blame it on the late hunt, maybe on the new blood. I dreamt I was in the streets of Bibury, it was dark but there were a lot of people outside, and they all seemed really happy. They were dancing and talking and laughing and music was playing. It sounded so good. I needed to hear more. I couldn't remember the last time I had laughed, probably when I was still a child. But what struck me the most in the dream was that it didn't seem anything like my father had told me. I didn't see murderers, thieves, dishonest people and I never had seen wild animals, and even if I did I could kill them now. Maybe it was a sign, maybe it was time for me to meet people, to know them, have some fun. I had wasted 5 years of my life trying to fulfill my father's wishes and for what? Not to mention all those other years secluded. I was 30, I was so alone I didn't know how to interact with people. I needed human contact! With that in mind I decided I was going there. I got up, took a hot shower and got dressed, looked myself in the mirror, I looked decent in my 22 year old body, climbed down my tree and went to Bibury.

I was excited, I was anxious, I felt nothing could stop me. I was going down the intricate roads towards the village and it was quiet and it was really dark and it was a cold night. As I approached the main streets of Bibury I was disappointed. Where were the people? It didn't look anything like my dream. But I decided not to give up. Maybe it was the late hour? Maybe it was because it was so cold? I didn't care. I was going to find someone! I was going to interact! And then suddenly, I didn't know what was happening, I smelled something. My head turned on its own accord and I found myself moving towards a man as if I was hunting prey. All my heart could think was _No! This is wrong! He's a man! A human being! I can't do that to someone like me! That's not what I was thinking when I thought about interacting!_ But my brain was in a totally different place. _I'm hungry. It smells so good. I bet it tastes better than a red deer. I bet I can catch it. It will be so easy._ And as I was planning the whole scene in my head and at the same time debating with myself, I found myself already getting closer, grabbing the knife I always carried with me, jumping on him, cutting his throat. He didn't even have time to scream. It was so easy. The man fell to the ground and I just couldn't stop. The blood was warm, not as much as the deer I drank but it was so sweet. _It tastes so much better than deer! I knew it! So good._ It ended just as fast as it had begun. When I got out of the trance I felt panic, my hands were covered in blood, his blood. _I need to get out of here immediately_. So I ran. I ran as fast as I could, left the body there, like some raccoon I had caught in the woods, and I only stopped when I found myself safe in the attic. A part of me was in shock. I felt disgusted by what I had just done. I couldn't believe it. _I killed a man._ _I killed someone of my kind.._. _Oh, but it tasted so good!_

And in that moment I knew. My father had been right all along. The night wasn't safe. There were wild animals and murderers out there... Monsters... ME.

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**Soooo, what do you guys think?**

**First i want to know if you prefer long chapters or if this is okay for you.  
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**Second i want to know if you want to keep hearing from Edward (he still has a lot to tell) or if you think this will do for now.**

**Third, tell me what you think about the writing. do you find a lot of mistakes? typos? plot holes? do i fail at writing in English? anything?**

**I'm trying to be accurate and not give Edward something that hasn't been invented yet. So far i believe everything he has had already been invented at the time. Also, the village is not made up. Google it, it's very pretty.  
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**I know i haven't told you in what years this is happening but i already gave a clue in chapter 1 and i'm going to tell the exact year of his birth in a few more chapters.**

**And last but not least, am i doing okay or am i boring you? is this worth finishing or not?**

**Kisses and hugs and i'll see you soon!**

final note: I tried to send a message to Flock6 to give her(?) my thanks for the review but since she(?) doesn't have the personal messages activated i'll do it here: Thank you so much for your review! I'm so glad you enjoyed it!


	5. 4 I'm sorry

**a/n: Well... Hi there! First of all let me just thank once again to everyone who reviewed and added this story to their alerts.**

**That being said, i want to first apologize for taking so long to update and second for this being so short.**

**I really struggled with this one because i wanted to give you more but it just didn't feel right. I really wanted it to end where it does so, for that, I'm sorry.**

**So, go on! Read it and kill me later!**

**This one starts right after the last one.  
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**I do not own anything that it's not supposed to be mine.**

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**Edward**

"I'm a monster… I'm a monster… I'm a monster… I'm a monster… I'm a monster… I'm a monster…" That was all I could say, sitting on the ground of my attic, rocking my body back and forth, sobbing, unable to shed any tear, until I passed out when the sun rose.

When I woke up the following night, later than usual again, I was still covered in blood. It was dry but still, I felt immediate hunger, which worried the rational part of me. I wasn't usually this distressed and hungry when I woke up. _Will I be able to feed on animals again? I have to_. I couldn't bear the thought of killing another human being anymore. With that in mind, I climbed down my tree and ran to the woods… It was really dark and I could tell it was cold, even though it barely affected me; I could hardly distinguish the trees around me. I tried so hard to focus on the sounds and the smells around me, but nothing caught my interest. It was like being in an empty space, no living creature, no wind, no sounds, no signs of life. I was feeling more and more strangled and it made me agitated, all I could hear was me screaming internally _Focus! You have to focus!_ and the sound of my heart pounding in my ears faster and faster, until I couldn't take the pressure anymore and I screamed aloud, releasing my tension. The sound reverberated through the trees; scared birds awaken from their peaceful sleep flew to the sky. And I took that moment to give the situation a last chance, so I walked slowly, trying to find anything. At this point I already knew the creatures' favorite hiding places, where to find them, how they smelled, but it was as if they were invisible to me. I was really hungry but also feeling completely defeated. I decided to go home with nothing in my stomach. I couldn't stop the felling of desperation that was hitting me.

_Why? Why did I have to change my routine? Why couldn't I have eaten a raccoon like usual? Why did I have to ruin my father's lab? Why did I have to give up? Why did I have to go to that stupid village?_ I dragged my defeated body to the bathroom to clean myself. I was tired of smelling blood, human blood, and I needed to take a bath, relax and think of a plan. As I was taking my clothes off I looked at the mirror and I released a sharp gasp. Right in from of me was a creature I didn't recognize. I wasn't looking at me anymore. Instead of the orange eyes I had grown used to, I had dark red ones. My bone structure was sharper, my cheekbones protruding. I looked like an evil version of myself… and it scared me. Not even the warm water from the bath was making me feel happy with myself like usual. I couldn't stop shaking, I was so nervous, so agitated. When I was all cleaned up I went to my father's office to think. I hadn't eaten that night and there was always that hunger clouding my brain, making things really difficult. _When I snapped that night in the lab, it changed my behavior. It made me somewhat irrational and spontaneous and it made me kill the deer. Its blood only contributed further to change me, it made me dream and it made me bold. I forgot to feed and I went straight to Bibury, not thinking of the consequences. My lack of blood made me even more irrational and I killed a man. Now the human blood changed me even more, messed with my senses, my mood, it's all I can think of and now I can't even hunt animals anymore._ As I thought of human blood I could feel my throat getting drier, my brain becoming confused, my anger building up and I was feeling dizzy, which didn't happen since I began to change. As the night was coming to an end I decided it was time to leave for my attic. I realized it was harder than usual since on top of the natural weakness I was lacking food. I dragged my body through the hall, the stairs, clinging to the wall, the banister. My lips were getting drier and drier as were my eyes, my throat, I felt as if somehow the fluids inside me had been sucked out. I could feel what was left of my strength leaving my body. By the time I reached the upper floor I felt myself falling to the ground, unable to prevent myself from passing out right there.

_I'm awake_. I didn't want to acknowledge that I was awake during the day though. I knew it was still light out there because I could see it through my eyelids. But I knew I couldn't move so there was no point in trying to even open my eyes. _Second, why did I wake up?_ Because I was smelling something. When my brain registered that fact, I immediately felt pain, an immense pain in my veins, my throat, my whole body. _Third, why do I smell something? Where am I?_ I remembered trying to get to my attic and failing miserably due to my lack of feeding. _I'm on my house's upper floor. I'm so hungry! And there is someone inside the house!_ I felt panic. _How did someone get inside my house? What am I going to do? They are going to find me here! I can't let anyone see me. No one knows I exist!_ I was seriously torn. I couldn't believe I had never thought of a plan regarding the house and possible visitors. It was silly to expect no one would ever try and buy the place or occupy it. _How could I have been so stupid? _Since I couldn't move all I did was listen. I could distinguish 3 voices: a male and 2 female. One of the females was in the kitchen; the male and the other female were in the living room. They smelled wonderfully, the females specially. _They are probably wearing perfume. It's delicious!_ I could tell one smelled of strawberries and the other smelled of flowers, like a bouquet of roses and narcissus, and also with a touch of cinnamon. The man smelled of woods after a rainy day. My mouth began to water, my heart pounding faster. I hadn't eaten anything and I could feel myself growing frantic. _I can't do it, I can't do it. I'm not going to do it. I just can't. I'll starve if I have to._ They were talking about how lovely the house was. The flower woman was saying how the house had been empty for a few years, no one ever bothered checking it out since it was so secluded and far from everything, but it was a good buy, it was spacious and the surroundings were beautiful. The man asked why it was empty for so long; she said a family had lived there, "Strange people if you ask me! Never actually saw them. I knew there was a child. Poor boy never went outside or played with other children. The mother was very ill and the father was a doctor. Rumor says she died and the doctor became so depressed for not saving her that after some years of complete seclusion he killed the son and then killed himself." I heard her say. I felt so angry. _How dare she call me strange? And my family! And that rumor! I cannot believe that's what people believe happened!_ "And did that happen here?" the man asked, worried. "Oh, no. Please, it was just a rumor. It is also believed they moved away, to begin a new life. The bodies were never found so there is no reason to believe the rumor."

To alleviate the mood the flower woman spoke. "Would you like to visit the rest of the house? I know there is a lovely attic!" And then I was on alert mode. All my senses were flooding me. Their smell was so intense, I could hear their footsteps coming closer and closer, I could hear their hearts beating regularly, unaware of what they were going to find. My brain was clouding, I could only focus on their bodies, ways to catch them and kill them. But I couldn't move, I couldn't reach for my knife in my pocket, all I could do was picture the entire scene in my head. And then I heard the strawberry woman speak, her voice like an angel: "But don't you find it strange that the house is so… lived? There were books scattered around the office, a few opened on top of the desk. The previous family didn't bother to collect their belongings? I don't know… Are you sure no one lives here?" She sounded nervous, her instincts kicking in, her heart beating faster as she spoke her thoughts. She smelled even more delicious with fear. And when they reached the last step, the flower woman froze, the man said "What is this?", the strawberry angel released a cry and I felt myself jump towards the three of them, growling, grabbing my knife on the way, cutting first the man's throat, then the flower woman's, and finally reaching for the strawberry girl. The smell of blood around me was intoxicating, I was barely hanging to my human self, but when I looked into those eyes, those big brown scared eyes, that pale and perfect skin, flushed cheeks, tears streaming down them, open mouth, loose long brown shiny hair, I was able to speak the words that I would never, ever, repeat again, before I ended her life. "I'm sorry."

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I didn't have her blood. That didn't stop me from being the monster I was though. I drank the other bodies' blood and immediately felt a rush of energy coursing through me. It was so exhilarating! I was alive again! My body was no longer dry, I could move, I could jump, and I was jumping higher than ever before. When I landed from my jumps I shook the whole ground. I was stronger. And as strange as it was to me, especially since previously I couldn't identify any sound in the woods, I was hearing everything clearly from inside the house, every animal, the sound of leaves and trees waving with the wind. It was too much. I was bewildered. I still didn't know what to do with the bodies though. But I couldn't care less. I was feeling powerful, nothing could stop me, nothing **would** stop me. Feeling all the energy and my body screaming for relief I ran to the woods, faster than ever before, and I ran and jumped and climbed trees with such ease I was amazed at myself. _It's the blood; the human blood is doing this to me!_ I was on top of a tall tree, feeling the branch beneath my hand, enjoying the peaceful surroundings, breathing in all the smells, absorbing the intensity of what was happening to me, and I found myself thinking of her, the strawberry woman. Her beautiful face, those deep gorgeous brown eyes, a color I had never seen, so strange; her skin, though pale, had an amazing shade of pink in the cheeks. My skin had never been like that, at least not that I could remember. Her heart sounded so perfect. Her voice, oh her voice! Like an angel. And her smell, her natural smell and the strawberries... But I couldn't spare her, I just couldn't. She would run away screaming and she would tell everyone what she saw. That there was a killer living in the house, a monster! And she would never forget me killing that woman, not to mention her husband, the love of her life. But I was really… no. I wasn't going to say it. Never again was I going to say that word, ever! I was an animal, I was ruled by instinct, I was not a human being, I didn't have feelings, all I wanted was to kill and drink human blood. I was worth nothing! As I thought about it I released a growl… I'm a monster!

I decided I had to do something about the bodies. I just couldn't keep them lying there. They would start to smell and rot. _What if someone goes there and finds them? Surely someone knows they went there. I'm going to go home and drag the bodies out here into the woods and bury them. Then I'm going to clean the house off their blood._ With a plan formed in my mind I ran to the house, since in a few hours the sun would be rising. But I was still a few feet away when I heard noises. They were coming from the house. There were more people there, and they had found the bodies. There was a woman screaming and crying. I figured she knew the flower woman from what I heard. I didn't know what to do; I was like a deer in headlights. _I can't just leave my house, my home! All my belongings, my parents' belongings!_ So I decided I was going to wait in the woods until the sun rose, listen to everything that was happening in the house, then I would sleep in the laboratory. If, when I woke up, the house was empty, I was going to go there and take everything I needed and leave. The voices of several men were saying how it was strange the house looked so inhabited, how there was electricity and water after so many years abandoned. And I was chastising myself the entire time for being so stupid all those years. I needed to plan how I was going to blend in with humans, I needed to study them, find ways to live around them and feed without being conspicuous. I also needed money. I was going to be around for a long time so I needed to prepare myself. With that in mind I went to my father's laboratory, to sleep in Bibury for the last time.

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**a/n: Please review.**

** See you soon!**


	6. 5 peaceful until it's not

**a/n: Hi there!**

**Once again i want to first say thanks to everyone who added this story to their alerts and who reviewed. It makes me really happy!**

**Second i want to give you this chapter as an early Christmas gift! Hope you enjoy it! =)**

**Last but not least: i do not own anything that's not supposed to be mine.  
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**Edward**

By the time I reached 85 years old, I was a very handsome 22 year old gentleman, living crazy. It was 1965 and let me tell you, it was insane! 55 years had passed since I had left Bibury, and the world was completely different. I had managed to build a good life for myself, I was a wealthy man, I was living in an amazing flat, enjoying fantastic music, television, I had a fancy car and was living in a crime free area. And I say it was crime free because after some time killing humans I couldn't help but think I would be doing human kind a favor if I fed on the filthy of society. I could say that I was being a righteous person but in all honesty, the first time I tried to feed, after that awful night, all I could see was her scared face taunting me, her mouth open, tears streaming down her pink cheeks, her shiny big brown eyes, begging me with that angel voice "please don't do it. Please, don't!" After a year I gave up. I was a total mess, I couldn't think of anything but her and feeding, two things that did not get along. My belief that I was a monster, an animal, couldn't be true, not when I was so affected by her, not when I had feelings of guilt and desperation. I couldn't take it anymore. _What do you want from me? Tell me!_ I used to scream every time I was with a body in my lap, completely drained and limp, my hands and mouth covered in blood. I was so used to her pleas I already knew I had to drag the bodies to hidden places so I could sob with her after I fed, so I could scream and no one would hear me... Until one night, when I was unable to feed because I was already seeing her, hearing her, even before I left my hiding place. I began to think about a plan, some way of killing without feeling guilty, because even though I knew she wasn't real, I didn't want to hurt her feelings. And it came to me that if I stopped killing innocent people then maybe, maybe!, she would forgive me, she would let me be alone.

That's how my new life began. It was fairly easy to find criminals, especially because they prefer to wander at night. Just like my father once had told me. So at first I killed small robbers, rappers and murderers. The bright side was that I stopped seeing the strawberry angel; the down side was that I stopped seeing the strawberry angel. I missed her, and I was really scared of forgetting how she looked like, how her voice sounded, but I also knew it meant she had forgiven me, and not seeing her was a good sign. My targets were also not that great of a choice because they didn't carry a lot of money. In fact, they were almost as poor as me. I couldn't help to laugh at the situation. And that brought me to a new stage in my new life: I needed to find wealthier scum, which I did successfully. First I followed them, studied their routines, the places where they did their businesses, who they surrounded themselves with, and then I would attack. They didn't stand a chance against me; I was stronger than them, faster than them, invincible. I never killed everyone in one night though. I would kill slowly, so I could feed from one entire clan for several days. In the end, I would steal their money and belongings and the city would be thankful for getting rid of them. It was a win-win situation.

So, for 54 years, I had managed to feel good about myself and live a fairly normal life. I would change my name and move from place to place every 5 years. I made sure I fed every night; also I made sure I kept myself up to date with what was going on with the world. I read newspapers, listened to the radio, listened to music, watched television. Also, from time to time, I would pick my father's old journals and read his annotations and my annotations and read his books. Eventually I let those behind since they were so out of date, and decided to venture on libraries and book stores, sometimes taking a few with me, always making sure I left money. I was already a killed, I didn't want to add thief to my list. So, even though I had promised myself I would never ever care about my father's experiments again, I sometimes felt drawn to them, wondering if had I done this or that differently, maybe I would have find something. I sometimes studied myself in mirrors too. I knew I shouldn't expect to see a wrinkle or a gray hair, but one could hope. The only things I noticed had changed were my eyes and my face. After a few years of feeding on humans they were once again the orange I was so familiar with, and my face was no longer sharper, my cheekbones no longer protruding. It was such a relief for me, a reminder of the old days, when I used to drink from animals and tried to find a cure for this curse and was such a behaved human being…well, kind of.

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The problem with life is that eventually it gets boring. By the time I reached that age where I should be dead already, I began to feel tired. After 90 years of killing scum, travelling through England, being rich beyond words, having lived in 3 different centuries, and going through all the world's transformations, I felt bewildered. I was in the sitting room of my flat, resting in a sofa, looking outside a window from where I could see the London' Eye, enjoying the sounds of the late night city life, waiting for the sun to rise, when I felt something inside me. And suddenly I was back there, I was hearing the animals and the trees shaking and the leaves ruffling with the wind, I was wakening in my attic and climbing down my tree, I was running freely and inhaling those amazing forest scents and jumping and climbing trees. And then I was returning home… home! And I was taking a hot bath and lounging in my father's office, surrounded by books and rubbing my feet on that red carpet I had always loved. With a smile on my face I welcomed the sun, with the thought that the next night I was going home.

Bibury was… Bibury. It was incredible how the village had stayed almost the same for so long. I felt free to roam around the main square and the streets since it was so late and there was no one outside. _I'm going to have a problem here. I'm sure there aren't many criminals here and I can't just start killing people randomly. I should have thought of that._ It was a cold night but it wasn't dark. The moon was bright so I could see everything clearly. There were new stores, modern ones. There was a coffee shop, a supermarket, a hardware store… _Oh, a book store! Nice!_ And it didn't have an alarm. _Of course not, who would remember to rob a bookstore in Bibury?_ With my inventory of the village completed I decided to head to my old house. It was as if I had never left. The smells, the silence but at the same time the noises that were so peaceful. I had missed the owls… As I was walking the roads that led to the secluded place in the woods I saw myself return to that fateful night, when my life changed completely, when I ran, covered in blood, to the only place I felt safe… My attic, how I missed it and the feeling it used to bring me. So I ran again, this time not running from anything but towards something.

Disappointment. There was no word to describe what I felt when I saw my home for the first time in 90 years. I have an excellent memory which only contributed further to the feeling. The beautiful house I had once lived in was now a block of something covered by vegetation, surrounded by vegetation, and if I inspected closer I would only find more vegetation. The windows were completely dirty and were covered by wooden boards, same for the front door. I surrounded the house to find more of the same, there was barely any stone showing and the window I used to climb to access the upper floor had also wooden boards. The roof was in bad shape. I could tell, from the look of the place, it had been inhabited for quite some time. _Could it be that no one lived here since I left?_ For all the time I was there, only once did it have any visitors, _and look how it ended_. I was walking again to the front of the house when I looked up and saw the only window that wasn't obstructed: the attic window._ Good. _I didn't want to rip any boards off in case someone passed by the house and saw them missing_. _I was not going to be conspicuous again. So I decided I was going to get inside the house through it. I opened the old rusty gate and a hinge immediately broke. _Damn!_ I crossed the once kept garden, now a jungle, and when I reached the front door to leave there my bags, protected from the eventual rain, I saw a paper nailed to one of the boards. It was a very faded and damaged piece from an old local newspaper and it mentioned the house, so I read it.

"**Cold Cases: Haunted House murders**

**A brutal multiple homicide took the life of 3 innocent people 70 years ago at the Forest House. The couple, Henry Turner and Ann Turner, was visiting the house with Rose Dawson, who was a real estate agent. A friend of the last was worried she hadn't returned from the showing and decided to go find her. She went to the house, where she found the bodies lying on the upper floor. The murderer was always at large and the police never had a clue to who could have done such a thing. The crime weapon was never found. There was no apparent motive and the bodies' belongings weren't stolen.**

**The house was empty for some time. The last family to live there was missing for some years. Rumors said they also died in the house, possible murder and suicide, or that they left the house in a hurry, since all their belongings were left behind. No one ever heard of them or found the bodies. The house was empty ever since. Could it be that the Forest House is haunted? Where are Edward, Esme and Carlisle Masen? Who killed Rose Dawson, Henry Turner and Ann Turner?"**

_Ann Turner… Ann… My strawberry angel's name is Ann_… I ripped the paper off the nail and it immediately crumbled into little pieces.

So the house had been empty for 70 years. I could only assume it stayed that away for 20 more. No one wanted to live in a house where a multiple homicide had occurred. No one wanted to live in a house where a possible suicide had occurred. No one wanted to live in a house that was possibly haunted. _Well, what a shame!_ I went to my tree which, despite looking less healthy than it did 90 years ago, was taller and climbed it with ease until I had to jump a little to reach the roof. Once there I glided through the tiles until I reached the window. With a strong punch I broke the glass near the lock and reached my hand inside to open it. My hand didn't have a scratch. It was pitch dark inside and the smell was awful, of mold and dust. Trying hard to focus on what I remembered from the attic I reached for a wall and carefully walked towards the door. That's when I remembered I didn't have the key with me. I had left it in my father's laboratory in the woods. Since it was dark and there was no electricity in the house I decided to go back and go to the lab to get it and also to find some useful items, like a lamp.

My parents' grave was gone. It had been so long, vegetation had grown around it. _How dare it!_ Growling I fought against it, enraged, ripping every branch, every leaf, so I could restore the memorial. I would have cried if I could. I remembered what I had promised my mother, that I would visit her and leave flowers every day for the rest of my life. _I'm so sorry mother! I broke my promise. I shouldn't have forgotten. But never again… never!_ I said out loud, kissing the cold stone. Then I took my time collecting a few flowers to leave her. I couldn't figure why I didn't apologize to my father. It just wasn't the same.

I knew the lab was near the grave so I walked slowly until I felt the floor change underneath me. Getting down on my knees I felt the ground until I found the handle. It was rusty and corroded. Instead of using it, I lifted the hatch with my hands. I remembered I had left a mess behind me the night I snapped, but the last time I had been there I had left a box of matches and an old lamp near the steps. Reaching for them I found what I was looking for. I tried hard to light a mach but there was no use, it had been 90 years. Usually I was a very nervous person who snapped at the smallest of things, but being back home was having an effect on me. So I walked around in the dark, calmly, looking for the attic key. I had left it inside a bottle, near the cabinet, on the left wall. I touched everything that was on top of the cabinet and found the bottle, shook it and heard something rattle: it was still there and it was also rusty. _Everything is rusty around here._ _Everything but me._ With the key in my possession I went back to the house, picked my bags and carried them with me back to the roof and into the attic. Again I reached for the wall and walked until I found the door, it was still locked. I opened it with my key and met more darkness. No light could come in because of the wooden boards. There was no use in exploring if I was not going to see anything. _Tomorrow_ _night I'm going to the village to pick some essentials._ With that in mind I returned to my attic, locked myself and went to the corner where I used to sleep in, waiting for the sun to rise. I thought about what I was going to do regarding my meals. I wouldn't feed on locals, not a chance; it would draw too much attention. I would have to spend a great part of my nights going somewhere else to eat. I didn't even need any more money so anyone would do. Satisfied with my plans I closed my eyes and listened to the sound I missed so much, owls and wind and leaves shaking and animals scratching, until I passed out.

...

I couldn't be happier. Everything was working so great. It took me several months to readjust to my new routine. Sure, it took a great effort to feed, but I couldn't care less. I waited a month to restore electric power and water. For a month I lived on gas lamps and bottled water, I missed a hot bath so much. I wanted to make sure no one came to the house, no one passed by or noticed me. It was as if this little area had a shield. It was as if I was alone in the world. So I went to Bibury and got some materials from the hardware store. I didn't want it to be noticed so I also took things from other places I visited to dinner. Everything was working on my favor. I had a hard time getting rid of some things that were ruined, rotten, destroyed… like the red carpet I loved so much. It was no longer a carpet but a piece of… something… orange-ish. I had managed to do some work on the house and ended up having a few lamps scattered around and hot water running in the bathroom, I thoroughly covered the windows with more wooden boards, including the attic door, from the inside, except the window I used to get outside and inside. I still slept in my attic, in a new mattress, and I kept there my belongings. I never took my books and journals to the office, afraid someone would find them. From the outside no one could tell the house was being inhabited. Every night I left the house, I went immediately to my parents' grave, left my mother some flowers, inhaled deeply and took in the smells of the forest, ran somewhere, had dinner, eventually roamed around some stores and went back home. It was fun. Until after a year when that woman came and ruined my peaceful life.

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**a/n: ooookay... so, did you like your present? am i doing fine?**

**And who do you think is this woman, hmm?**

**I'll tell you next time! ;)**

**I really hope you have a great Christmas! Lots of chocolate and candy and gifts and family and kisses under the mistletoe! *wink wink***

**OH OH OH**

**And since this is a time of giving, give me reviews... pretty please!  
**


	7. 6 cinnamon and strawberry

**a/n: Hellooooo!**

**So, how was your Christmas hmm? Hope Santa brought you all the crazy stuff you asked for! I asked for an ipad but i guess he was out of those :P**

**Once again, let me thank everyone who added this story to their alerts and favorites (already? yay!).**

**I just wish you people would review the story, it would make me do a real happy dance you know? And i do not like to dance so...**

**Anyway, i hope you like this one. I wanted to give this to you as fast as i could so i didn't do a thorough re-read. Anyway, i'll do it tomorrow and if i find any mistakes i'll correct them. Enjoy!**

**(I do not own anything that's not supposed to be mine, yada yada yada)**

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**Edward**

"Phil! Oh Phil come look at this! This is so lovely!"… _What in the bloody hell is going on?_ I had been waking gradually earlier since I fed regularly and with abundance but never at 6 in the afternoon. Sure, it was already dark outside, but still… The humans woke me. I immediately returned to that awful night. _I killed them… Ann… I killed her… _I couldn't have another scene like that and I was well fed so I didn't feel any immediate urge. I could feel my throat itching though, after all I was awake and I needed my meal of the day. I knew I couldn't repeat what had happened 91 years ago, it would draw attention again to this house and I couldn't leave this time, _never again_. Her voice was annoying though, and it was coming from downstairs, the kitchen, from the way her voice reverberated through the walls. _Good, they're still far. What's with people around here? Showing houses during the dark? Wasn't it supposed to be when it's light and the house is all illuminated? Shit! The lights! The water! Damn, damn, damn!_ I went immediately to the door, made sure it was really closed, and listened: "Oh yes, Renee. Look at the window. You can see the back yard and into the woods while you're washing dishes!" I could tell he was mocking her. "Oh Phil, don't be silly!" She ran to the office then. "Ooh, look at all these books!... I'm getting something here… wait… It belonged to a tortured soul, I can tell." _Huh?_ "Now I know where I'll begin my work." _She must be joking._ They continued the tour, Renee always making some observation on how she could tell something big had happened in the house, how thrilled she was to make it "all right", Phil always humming, the real estate lady telling how the house was lovely during the day, how they should return when it was light. I could tell she was nervous. _So, people still believe the whole haunted house nonsense… perfect! _As they approached the upper floor I began to smell them. I could tell by their heartbeats that the lady was first in line, she smelled of flowers. _Maybe it's some sort of protocol; they're all supposed to smell like a bouquet_. Renee was really confusing. She smelled all sorts of flowers and condiments; it was like she had spent an entire week inside a restaurant's kitchen. Phil smelled of old spice. _Ew! Who wears that in 2001?_ They reached the upper floor and Renee released a gasp. "It was here wasn't it? I know it was. Oh, the air is so heavy. So much grief… Oh Phil! We have to move here. Please! Say yes Phil!"… _Poor guy_. "Fine Renee. If that's what is going to make you happy and stop bugging me, then yes, we'll move here." She screamed with excitement and the flower lady lead them outside, telling them all the arrangements would be made so they could move as soon as possible.

As soon as I found myself alone I went out into the woods and ran as fast as I could to the nearest place I could hunt at. I had a lot to do and no time to waste. I ate more than usual. _If I'm going to have house-mates I need to be prepared._ As soon as I returned to the house I cut the electricity and the water supply. I would take no chances. I also went to my father's office and took all the books I found important to the attic. I reinforced the attic window's locking system and made sure the door was strong enough to hold a possible attempt of breaking in. Then I thought of a shifty plan, something that could make this Renee run away and never come back. _If everyone believes this is a haunted house, then that's what it is going to be_. It didn't go unnoticed though that it had been the first time in a while that I didn't visit my parents' grave.

…

The next night I woke up to the smell of… I don't know. Cinnamon, mint, jasmine, vanilla, roses, blueberry, raspberry, orange, peach, curry, melted wax and smoke. _What did that woman do? _It was late though, 2 in the morning. Maybe they didn't make a lot of noise in the evening. They had probably been quiet. _Thank God! She must have spent it making a million different recipes!_ I listened for any signs of movement. Both Renee's and Phil's heartbeats were steady and coming from the room below the attic. They were breathing regularly and Phil was snoring_. Good!_ I slowly unlocked and opened the door. When I took a step forward I stepped on something sticky and warm. I looked down, a bunch of candles were lined up with the bottom of the door with melted wax all over the step. _Great! Now I'll have to clean this!_ I turned to close the door and lock it again and saw what looked like cinnamon thrown against it. _This woman is completely insane!_ I immediately went hunting so I could inspect the house for more silly things. There were candles everywhere! Luckily they were not lit. In some places there was a group of candles, forming a circle, with drawings in the middle, made with different types of powder… _more cinnamon_. I decided I was going to clean a little. Just throw away a few things… I never liked the smell of cinnamon anyways… _Let the plan begin!_

…

"Oh my God! Phil! I'm telling you! It's all gone!"

"What do you mean it's all gone? I still see candles everywhere! This house smells like a restaurants' graveyard!"

"Don't you understand? It's the cinnamon! It's gone! Don't you see what is going on? It doesn't like cinnamon! I knew it! Oh this is so exciting!"

I was awake because once again Renee was speaking really loud. And it looked like she was excited with the fact that "it" didn't like cinnamon. _Hell yeah I don't!_ Then I began hearing loud noises, like furniture being moved. _This can't be true! They're changing everything!_ I looked at the clock… _Ugh, 7 pm. This is going to be a long night!_ By the time the noise stopped it was 1 am. I was restless; I had been pacing like crazy in my attic for 6 hours, glad they couldn't hear me due to what they were doing downstairs. I tried reading some books and medical magazines but they're kind of pissing me off. As soon as their breathing steadied I got out of there, went to my parents' grave, apologized to my mother for not stopping by, left her a flower and ran. That night I had a double dose, just to ease my mood. When I got home I became mad again. Some of my old furniture was piled up outside the house. _Oh no, my father's chair!_ I immediately went inside, opened the front door and silently began taking out the new furniture they had bought. I didn't care most of the old things were falling apart, she was not going to get away with it. When it was almost dawn I had managed to put everything back in its place. With a smile plastered in my face I went upstairs, and before I entered the attic I cleaned the new cinnamon that had been thrown against the door.

…

I woke up with a scream. It pierced through my ears, like it was right next to me, but it wasn't. It was Renee, and she was in the sitting room. I could only imagine her face when she came downstairs and saw everything back to their places. I felt really tired though and couldn't move. It was still day, I couldn't look at the clock but I listened to the sounds of the forest. From what I could hear it was early, she had just woken up, which meant I still had a lot of sleeping to do. With yet another smile on my lips I let myself drift back to sleep.

Later that day I woke up. This time I could move though so it meant it was already dark outside. "I don't care Renee. This is the only room in the house we can't open. We've been here for 2 days now and if things are happening, I'm telling you, it's because there is someone inside!" Phil said as he turned the doorknob. _Oh shit! Ooh no! What if Phil takes down the door?_ I was scared, really scared. I didn't have any other way of getting out, not unless I unblocked the window. I immediately ran to the door as he began pounding against it. He was probably shouldering it. I was positive that with my strength he wouldn't be able to do it. "Stop it, Phil! There is no one there. You're going to hurt yourself! Think! If there was someone in there, wouldn't he or she have to eventually get out? You saw for yourself, the window is locked. The only entrance is this door. And if you were right we would have heard something or seen something. It takes a lot of noise to move all the furniture. I'm telling you! Why can't you just believe me? The spirits never lie! I'm telling you! Now please, let's go downstairs and light some candles, it will be good." With that they walked away, Phil grunting something all the way down.

…

For 10 months, yeah, 10! I had to put up with Renee's craziness. It looked like she never gave up. Some days I was so upset and fed up with the whole thing I took refuge in my father's lab. I had been spending so many hours there I had managed to put everything back in order. I had updated the entire place, from counters to small equipment. I felt somewhat guilty for stealing so much but I always left what I thought would be enough to cover the expenses. It almost looked like I was going to get back at working in it but I never did. It was a shame, I knew it, but I decided to just store the formulas my father had produced and forget the rest. I was never going to find a way to be a normal human being again. I was staying forever a 22 year old man.

One night, I was in my father's lab, I had just woken up, when I heard footsteps above me. It was not exactly above the lab's entrance but it was close. It was Renee of course, that bloody smell of cinnamon. She was walking slowly and she was whispering. Of course she thought she was whispering but I could hear her clearly. She was chanting some song about freeing spirits and fighting the darkness. I was chuckling the entire time. And then suddenly she stopped. "I knew it!" she said quietly. For someone who was always screaming she was quite the discreet now. And then I heard her shuffling some leaves and I knew it. _Oh no! She found the grave! What do I do? I can't just jump on her and cut her throat! _I heard her begin to run and after a while she was screaming again "Phil! Phil! Come look at this! Look what I found! I told you! I knew it!" and she was laughing all the way down to the house. I immediately ran outside the lab, made sure the hatch was locked and covered and climbed a tree nearby. After a few minutes she returned with an annoyed Phil "Hey! Stop pulling me! Stop this! Renee! Oh come on Renee! I was sleeping and it's freaking cold out here! I wish you could just stop this bullshit! I'm so sick of all this stuff about spiri…" He stopped mid sentence as she showed him the stone. "Look! Look at this! I'm telling you! It's theirs! It must be where the Masens are buried! And don't say I'm imagining things. This you can see too. And look! It has a flower here. And it doesn't look old. " He did see it and so did I, and we were petrified. "Okay, that's it! We're leaving and I don't want to hear you say a word. I don't care!" He stormed off with Renee running after him "Phil! Please, be reasonable!" They argued the whole way back to the house. This was starting to brighten up for my side; I just hoped they wouldn't mention this to anyone. I went hunting, running like a crazy deer, feeling the wind hit my face and my hair, just to try and get rid of the nervousness I was feeling. As I was running I decided it would be best if I stopped leaving a flower for my mother for a while, let things cool down, but I would talk to her nonetheless.

I also decided to go home instead of the lab to see if I could hear any good developments on the events of the night. I didn't. Renee was in the sitting room with Phil when I climbed my tree and got to the upper floor. He was saying nothing made sense and she was crying, stating he didn't love her. She was playing that card on him. _Women…_ For years I had witnessed that trick of them, and it always worked. So, when the clock hit 4 in the morning they went to bed. _Oh no, I can't believe they are "making up"._ This was not usual of them; or maybe I was lucky enough to wake up late enough to have missed that part of being in a relationship. I often wondered how it must feel like, to be that intimate with a woman. Of course I had read about the subject but never tried it myself. Every time I felt attracted to a woman I ended up confusing my feelings and killing her. _Ann..._ I wanted something like my parents had. Love. Unconditional love. A feeling that could overcome everything. I wanted someone who could love me… Love a monster. And that just happened in movies. Feeling suddenly very depressed and missing a hot shower for 10 months, I waited for the sun to rise, thinking of more ways to try and get Renee out of the house, and finally thinking of the girl that once had my heart overcome by brain… _Ann_.

…

It didn't take long to accomplish one of the things I wanted the most. I had continued to use my methods of scaring. I moved things, I changed things, I cleaned things, I opened doors, I closed doors. Every time I did something a new crystal or candle or little pile of cinnamon would appear. Renee had a special attraction to the attic door though. I had to give it to her: the woman had a great sixth sense. Every time I was in my attic and had to go out, I would step on a new candle, stick a crystal in my foot or place my hand in a fresh spread of cinnamon. One night, I had returned from my routine, exceptionally happy because I had managed to catch a big street mug that had been haunting a village I was fond of, when I found out that Renee had once again changed the office's furniture. It pissed me of to great lengths. _How many times have we been through this, Renee? Hmm? Not the chair! Come on!_ I was tired of it. And I had been thinking of a stupid idea, it was a cliché really, but I had to give it a shot. So I quietly went to the bathroom, picked up her red lipstick and giggling like an idiot I scribbled in the bathroom mirror I know what you did that summer. I decided not to write exactly how it was in the movie. I thought it wasn't so specific so maybe it would produce a more effective result. It was as good an idea as any. Still giggling I went to my attic, hoping that would do the trick.

…

And it did. Once again I found myself waking up to Renee's screaming. Boy did the woman have lungs! "Phil! Oh no! Phil, come here!" She was crying now as she called him with a loud voice. I heard Phil running to the bathroom. "What the fuck is this shit?", "Honey, I want to go home." She said, almost whispering. Maybe she was clutching to him. "Thank God! It was about time!" It was morning and I couldn't do anything but a mental happy dance. So I went back to sleep, with hopes that maybe when I woke up later, the house would be empty.

It wasn't empty but I could tell they were moving things. I could hear more people, getting inside the house and out. I knew Renee and Phil were upstairs though. They were talking in the room while moving around, probably packing their last belongings. "I just want to know why that particular phrase got you so upset. After a year of insane things happening around here, that's what made you decide to leave? What did it mean to you? What did you do that summer? Did you kill someone?" Phil asked, some humor in his voice. "Stop it Phil! You know damn well what happened that summer!" It was a pity I couldn't be downstairs with them to witness the whole exchange in person. I could only tell they were very keen on highlighting the word that. "Oh? You don't think…?", "Damn straight I think! I know! And I also know we shouldn't mess with the spirits! I think I've done enough around here and maybe I made it mad. Who knows! I think that if after a year I didn't accomplish what I came here for, then I'll never will. So please, stop mentioning the phrase and what happened and let's move out. I miss America". She had a sad tone on her voice. I almost felt sorry for her. After that they finished packing in silence and around 10 pm the house was empty.

I immediately went downstairs to check on everything. I couldn't believe what I saw. Except for some furniture covered by white sheets, the house was exactly as they had found it. I was so thrilled! That night, my routine was done with much more happiness! I was once again alone and free! As soon as I got home I took a much needed hot bath and went to my attic, certain no one would be coming near the house for a long time.

…

_**I haven't seen you in a long time. I missed you so much. Did you miss me? Talk to me…**_

"_**What the hell?"**_

_**Wait! Don't go! Please!**_

"_**That would be asking for too much."**_

_**Why are you crying angel? Please… I love your eyes. Don't cover them with tears.**_

_**I love your pink cheeks. They're so soft and warm.**_

_**Oh Ann…**_

_**And you… you smell of strawberries. I loved you the first time I smelled your perfume. You know, I always loved strawberries.  
**_

_What the fuck? I'm smelling strawberries._

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**a/n: Yay!**

**We're finally getting to the hot stuff!**

**Pleeeease leave a review... *makes sad puppy eyes* (They always work people, come on!)**

**See you soon! kiss kiss**_  
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	8. 7 who's Bella?

**a/n: hiii everyone!**

**sooo, who's a good friend hmm?**

**I felt so happy with the response i got from the previous chapter I immediately began the next one. And guess what! It's ready and it's still hot.**

**So, before it gets cold and you have to put it in the microwave to warm it up (which is never like the real deal because it gets dry and tasteless)... I'm shutting up. =)**

**I want to reaaaally thank EVERYONE who reviewed and added this story to their alerts and favorites. You rock people! \0/  
**

**Now go read! Shoo!**

**(yeah yeah yeah, they're not mine.)**

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**Edward**

_Holly crap! There is someone inside the house! How did I miss this? Why didn't I notice it earlier? And why does it smell like… her? _As soon as I registered what was happening I felt myself rolling off the mattress into the floor in total panic. I'm sure I looked like a complete idiot, like those drunks I often came across with at night. Trying to compose myself I used the floor to bring my body up and ran to the door. When I reached it I was assaulted by the perfume. The smell was so strong! I forced myself to calm down and was able to hear a heartbeat, and breathing… It smelled so good. I glued myself to the door, not making a sound, listening to what was on the other side. Whoever it was was close, really nervous, heart beating furiously, intensified perfume. I was so mad for not being able to see anything! And it was making my throat hurt so badly. _Why am I so hungry? This didn't happen with Renee and the others last time. I'm well fed. And it's not even that late!_ I could almost hear the blood reaching the person's throat in high speed! _Oh god! If I kill it there will be so much blood! It'll be so warm and sweet! Oh and the strawberries! I didn't taste it last time, maybe now I can! _I knew I was being delusional. I just couldn't do it, it would draw attention and Ann would certainly come back to haunt me. I was gripping the jamb with such force the wood was starting to turn into dust. _Calm yourself down Edward. Just relax. It's probably just your imagination, nothing more._ I had been sleeping after all, and dreaming of Ann. It was only natural my brain was playing tricks on me. That didn't mean there wasn't someone inside the house though, I could feel it. After a few minutes the person walked away into the… bathroom. He or she was having a bath because I could hear water splashing but no running. I was almost positive it was a woman because of the heartbeat but I couldn't be sure. Also, after some minutes, the perfume intensified. It was making me dizzy.

I closed my eyes and could see Ann, just as if she was in front of me. And she was lying in a bed with white sheets, surrounded with strawberries, her beautiful long brown wavy hair fanned around a pillow. Her pale skin beautiful, her pink cheeks a delightful match to the strawberries around her. I began to feel something inside me… I approached her, stretched my arm so my hand could touch her face and she smiled, she was so lovely when she smiled at my touch. Then my hand began to slowly descend towards her perfect neck. I could feel her blood under my palm; my hand involuntarily gripped her flesh. A stray tear fell down her face. _Why are you crying angel? Because you are going to kill me. _And then I was reaching for my pocket, my heart beating fast… I mentally slapped myself and returned to the real world. I couldn't waste time daydreaming. I returned to listening and smelling. Every time I inhaled my throat itched even more. The person was sound asleep in the room below me. _Perfect! Here we go again._

Just like last time, I quickly got out of the attic, noticing the strong perfume coming from the bathroom, ran to the woods towards somewhere, made sure I ate enough to ease the pain and returned home. I needed to take down electricity and water. It was a shame the person had already used it but what was done was done. So with no more delays I cut the cables and smashed the water tank. I hoped it would look like an old accident, like a tree had fallen in it or something. I took a look at the results _Maybe it was too much, I totally ruined the thing._ Almost completely satisfied I returned to the house. When I put a foot on the upstairs floor I heard a voice though, a woman's voice. _Oh shit! I was busted._ I froze, the other foot hanging in the air, waiting for the person to get out of the room, but nothing happened. She kept talking though. My suspicions where confirmed, it was indeed a woman… but not just any woman, it was my Ann! There was no doubt about it. I didn't care if it was rational or not, it was her smell and her voice! Okay, maybe not exactly her voice, there was something about it I couldn't put my finger on, but it was the voice of my angel. I ran to the bedroom door and picked inside. In the middle of the old rusty iron bed was a body curled up under a blanket. The smell of strawberries was intense. Her body was steadily rising and falling and she was speaking incoherent words. "Old… broken… rain… all green… forks… books… attic…" _Oh no, she is thinking about the attic! She heard me!_ I wanted so much to go to her, push the blanket down and see her but I knew I couldn't. If she saw me she would panic. She would scream like those girls in scary movies did and she would tell everyone about me and what I had done. So, feeling really torn, I decided to retreat to my decrepit attic, dry myself and wait for the sun to rise.

…

"Maybe it's locked from the inside. I'll try from the outside then." _Yeah, you go and try from the outside!_ I had been awakened by some man trying to open the attic door. I knew he couldn't open it just by trying to mess with the doorknob, so I was fine. Even if I wasn't I couldn't get up, it was still too early, I was paralyzed. Ann was on the other side with him. She still smelled of strawberries, it was intoxicating. They retreated and I heard the man doing something from the outside of the window. He was cursing the entire time. I really wanted to return to sleep though, I was feeling really tired.

I woke up earlier than usual again and again because it smelled of fresh strawberries. I had been dreaming of her, the same images I had thought of the previous day when I was daydreaming. I was going to have a problem being in the house and not being able to see Ann. Just the smell was taunting and was killing me. Just like the previous night I waited for her to fall asleep. When her breathing steadied I got out of bed and began to prepare to go out. But as soon as I took the first steps I heard her heartbeat pick up. _Shit, she's awake and she probably heard me! _So I decided to remain quiet, stay where I was, and give it enough time for her to fall asleep. I only returned to my routine when I heard her speaking incoherent words again. When I got home I realized I had forgotten to visit my mother… again.

…

The following night was the first I didn't wake up because of the perfume. It was later than usual, which surprised me, but it also meant Ann was still awake and hadn't bathed yet. _Urrgghh... I can't believe I'm going to be awake while she does it._ Both nights I had woken up after she had done it. She was listening to music. To be honest I wasn't very fond of the new sounds, I preferred the classics… call me old fashioned! I could smell different odors this time though. _She probably had some things delivered, I'll check it later._ I seriously hoped she wouldn't pull a Renee on me. But what if she did? I didn't want her to leave like I did with Renee and Phil. I wanted for Ann to stay here, forever! But I also didn't want to lose my belongings! I was having an inner battle when she climbed the stairs and went to the bathroom… _here we go!_ As I heard the water starting to fall, I found myself involuntarily listening harder. She entered the bathtub and the water hit her skin. She released a small moan of satisfaction. The sound was heavenly. I began to imagine the water cascading down her body, from those lovely locks, crossing her perfect pale neck, reaching her collarbones and touching her breasts… At that particular image something began to happen to a specific lower body part. Of course I knew what was happening, I wasn't stupid. It's just that it had never happened to me. I was feeling nervous but couldn't bring myself to stop my imagination. With my heart beating faster I kept listening. I heard her opening a bottle and the smell of strawberries reached the attic. I gasped at the sensation it brought me. I could only imagine her applying the shampoo and the smell spreading through her entire body, penetrating her skin, becoming a part of her. I heard her gently scrubbing her body and then letting the water simply run, rising the foam that most certainly had formed. Then the water was turned off, she got out of the shower, wrapped herself in a towel and moved to her bedroom. _She's right below me in nothing but a towel. Her skin must be so warm; her cheeks must be flushed from the hot water. What I would give to touch her face, look into her eyes, entangle my hands in her gorgeous hair. I miss her so much, I want to see her so much. I'm going to see her tonight._ I was feeling such a thrill. I knew it was a risk, I hadn't hunted yet and through the entire shower session my throat never stopped hurting. But tonight was the night I was going to see my Ann for the first time in years. I did kill her that night but this time I would fight it. I hoped she wouldn't find me though; that would be the death of me.

I patiently waited for her to fall asleep, I wouldn't take any chances. If I was going to see her, I needed to make sure she wouldn't see me. After a while I heard her mumble. It was a good sign. I slowly went down the attic and approached her door. The smell was divine. I picked inside and there she was. My breath caught in my throat. It was my dreams come true. In a bed with white sheets lay a beautiful woman. My mouth began to water, my throat burned even more. Her dark hair was fanned in her pillow, her cheeks still flushed from the shower, strawberry scent all over the room. I approached her slowly, making sure she didn't wake up. My heart was beating faster and faster, I almost couldn't bear the pain of the hunger I was feeling. I stretched my hand and touched her face, her skin was as soft and warm as I had imagined. She was so different from me, always cold. She immediately flinched and covered her face with the quilt. _Even in her sleep she hates me._ I loved her body, her perfume, all of her. She made me feel human, she had saved me from becoming a true monster. I… I loved her. It was insane. But what the heart wants, the heart wants. That's where the reality deviated from the dream. I didn't find myself reaching for my pocket that time, I couldn't. Instead, I retreated from the room, instead of going hunting I welcomed the pain and headed downstairs to start checking out what she had done to the place. _I can't believe she kept my father's chair! And the books! _In all honesty I couldn't care less with what she had done to the house. It was different, it was what she wanted, and if it made her happy then it made me happy. But to know she kept my favorite piece of furniture, it was wonderful! After the thorough scan I went outside for my nightly routine.

…

I didn't go far so in a few hours I had returned home. I climbed my tree but as soon as I was in front of the window I saw light coming from the bedroom. _Oh shit._ She was awake. So as quietly as possible I went inside and stood in the semi-dark, trying to figure where she was. She was definitely downstairs… in the kitchen. She was arranging food. I needed to be fast. I ran to the attic door, put the key in the door lock and turned it. It didn't move. _Ooh, no. Shit, shit, shit! Come on!_ I was frantically turning the key and the knob as she began to climb the stairs. _Ooh no! Why is this happening to me! Come on! Open damn it!_ Her footsteps were getting closer, I could hear her heartbeat and breathing clearly, she carried milk and something sweet. _I can't believe this! She's going to see me! Do I run? She'll see I use the window! Do I hide? Where?_ I heard her stop. She had seen me. When a step squeaked I immediately turned to see if she was okay. She dropped what she was holding. Her face expressed total chock. Her heart was pounding the fastest I had ever heard, not even the people I killed were that scared. She was probably thinking I was going to kill her like last time. I wanted to tell her everything was going to be fine but I was speechless. I was looking at my strawberry angel, her beautiful pale skin, her pink cheeks, her messy beautiful brown hair from having been asleep, her big brown eyes. The color was not unusual to me anymore but it amazed me nevertheless. Her feet were covered in milk though, poor angel. Snapping from my state I returned to the knob and with a strong pull I finally opened the door, disappearing behind it, not daring to look back.

What could it mean? She didn't scream, she didn't run to tell everyone what she had seen; she didn't even call 112 or her male friend, who I suspected was the son of the hardware store owner. She just cleaned herself and returned to her room. Her heart never ceased its frantic beating and her breath never returned to normal either. Maybe I didn't scare her after all. Maybe, if I didn't bother her, she would let me stay. After all, it was my home, she came after. Of course I wanted to share it with her but would I be able to be so close to her and yet so far? I knew it was a good sign she didn't tell anyone but what if she saw me again? Would she do it? I couldn't take a risk. I had to convince myself I would never let her see me again. With that in mind I spent weeks avoiding moving while she was awake. I knew every time she heard me because her heart would beat faster and her breathing would pick up. She was usually in bed already and she never dared to move. Sometimes I even took advantage of the incessant rain to have a quick hot shower, something I always enjoyed.

There was something she didn't know though. After a few nights of having prohibited myself from seeing her, I cracked. She was crying in her sleep and I felt the need to go to her, try to sooth her, take away her sadness. Like a ninja, I entered her room and stood by her side. There were tears streaming down her face. She wasn't speaking though so I didn't know what was making her so sad. I wasn't going to do anything but the tips of my fingers were itching to touch her, so I did. I knelt and lightly took away a strand of hair away from her beautiful face and wiped away the tears. She was so warm I could feel my own skin warming. She stopped sobbing and after a few seconds she gave me the most amazing smile I had ever seen. Encouraged by her reaction I looked intensely at her for a few seconds and, with my heart pounding in my ears and a resolve in my heart, I inched my face close to hers and touched my lips to her forehead. I was in heaven. I made it my mission to visit her in her sleep every time I felt she was having bad dreams.

…

I was walking on air, that's how happy I was feeling…, until one night. The house smelled of her friend more and more. By now I knew his name was Jacob, and I didn't like him at all. He and his father spent too much time around the house. I usually woke up after they were gone so I never got the chance to hear anything from them. But one night I woke up and they were still eating with her. I was eavesdropping and you know what they say about eavesdroppers. I discovered something that completely blew me away. Something I wasn't prepared to deal with yet. And something I didn't know how to explain.

"So, Bella, have you found the key to the attic yet?"

"I haven't really been searching."

_Who's Bella?_

_

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_**a/n: I know it may sound weird but you have to keep in mind Edward is now 129 years old. Even though he managed to stay sane for so long, he never got over the Ann situation.**

**So, i beg you to stay with me and trust me. You know everything will turn out just fine in the end... or will it? muahahahahahah**

**Just kidding!**

**Reviews are sooo appreciated it's scary... True story.**

**=)  
**


	9. 8 who am I?

**a/n: Huh? what is this? Another chapter? So soon? :P**

**I'm afraid I'm spoiling you guys.**

**I hope you're all enjoying the ride!**

**This is probably the last chapter from Edward's pov for a while. Unless you want it otherwise... If that's the case then leave your thoughts in the review section.**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed and added this story to their alerts and favorites!**

**See you at the end!**

**(what? them? not mine.)**

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**Edward  
**

_She isn't Ann? The woman I am in love with isn't Ann?_ _But that's how they called her in the newspaper! They couldn't have gotten it wrong could they? Not likely._ She had to be. That Jacob boy was wrong. She looked exactly like Ann, she smelled of strawberries, she had the voice of my angel.

_Oh Edward, get real! You killed Ann almost a hundred years ago, what did you expect would happen? She would rise from the dead and find you after all these years?_

_No… Of course not._

That's why she couldn't be Ann, but who was she then? She was beautiful nonetheless, her name apparently was Bella! Very suitable. And she made me feel good. She made me feel worth something, and every time I visited her at night, every time I heard her moving around the house, taking showers, speaking in her sleep, crying, laughing or singing, I felt more human than I had ever felt in my entire existence.

_Well maybe she does make you feel all that, but maybe it's just because you think she's Ann, which she isn't._

_Right… Oh god! What if I don't love her after all? What if… I hate her?_

_She changed the furniture of the house! She keeps changing things!_

_Yeah but she didn't get rid of my father's chair!_

_True… But she did mess with things. And she has that Jacob guy always hanging around._

_Yeah, but she didn't scream or call on me when she found me! She doesn't even want to find the key! She told him she hasn't been looking. What if she's protecting me?_

_Maybe she says that because she's afraid you'll kill her!_

_She doesn't even know I kill people! She smiles when I touch her! I take away her sadness!_

_But if she knew you were seeing her in her sleep she would find it creepy… and then she would scream!_

_I don't believe you! That is not true! She doesn't hate me and I'm going to prove it! She's a good person! She may have a different name but she is just like Ann! Her voice is too soft, she looks too sweet to be mean. She is a true lady and I love her and she is going to see that and love me too!_

I was so mad with myself for having doubts. Sure, she was a different person but her heart was just as good as Ann's had been. She was Bella, a beautiful woman with a perfect hair, amazing eyes, delightful skin, a heartbeat that was like a lullaby to me, and the voice of an angel…

_Her voice! That's why it always sounded a little bit different! She is not English! She is American! Of course! She has the same accent Renee and Phil had. How could I have been so blind?_ I mentally face palmed myself.

_Stupid! You're so stupid!_

_No I'm not! You didn't think of it either! You just noticed something you "couldn't quite put your finger on"… idiot! _

So… she had come from America. Interesting… At least she wasn't like that crazy Renee with all her candles and cinnamon! Suddenly I felt an extreme desire to know everything about her. She wasn't Ann but she was just as interesting. A girl who looked exactly like her, and ooh the strawberries, who had come all the way here from America. Why? What brought her to this isolated place? Why not London for instance? I needed to make sure all those questions would be answered, but first, I needed to prove myself (and her) she didn't hate me, she couldn't hate me. For that, I had to begin by doing something… I still felt guilty for what I had done to her the first night she had slept in the house. She must have been tired and if she enjoyed hot baths as much as I did, she must have been pretty pissed when she saw what I had done to the water tank. I needed to make up for it.

…

I had been thinking of some possibilities and eventually found the perfect solution. She had been in Bibury for a couple of months now and the only thing she didn't got fixed was the garden. Maybe she didn't know how to… Maybe the whole jungle look of it scared her, she could be afraid of insects. Though, if she moved to such a secluded place, surrounded by trees, it would be expected she knew about the possibility of finding a few. Anyway, I was going to fix it, make it all pretty for her. That way she would see I was a good guy and didn't want to harm her. _Yep! That will do it!_ With a smile on my face I went hunting, needing energy for the task that was waiting for me at home.

It had started to rain pretty hard which didn't make the task easy or pleasant. Not that I would get sick or anything but I was going to get pretty dirty. I had the necessary tools with me and also could use my own hands for almost anything; I had the strength and couldn't hurt myself anyway. I worked on the garden for almost 4 hours. I had managed to pull out all the weeds that had taken over the entire soil, cleaned it and smoothed the surface so it looked pretty. It was raining though so in the morning it would probably just look like a mud pool. Taking a good look at the results I felt disappointed though. _It looks so… bare. It needs something that will stand out, something pretty. No. Something beautiful and perfect._ I couldn't just plant some strawberries, that would be too much, I was obsessing enough already. So I ran to a place I had visited a few weeks earlier where there was a nice greenhouse. Once there I found what I was looking for. With a smile on my face I quickly returned home, dig a hole in the middle of the garden and planted a very well kept rosebush. I didn't know if Bella liked roses but I had the impression women always ended up enjoying whatever flower men offered them. Satisfied with myself I cleaned all the tools and took them to my father's lab that was now becoming more of a storage house than anything else. Then I went to the side of the house and prepared myself to get inside and have a hot shower. Bella would probably be sleeping and it was raining so I was safe. By then I knew the procedure: I would slowly open the window, with half of my body inside and half outside I would listen for her and then I would enter and close the window after me.

She was in her room, she wasn't dreaming that night, at least she wasn't talking, but her breathing was soft and her heart was beating steadily. She smelled wonderfully like usual. I put my feet on the floor and began walking towards the attic but then I saw I was making a mess with my muddy boots. _Shit! She's going to kill me if she sees this! The whole purpose of the garden will be ruined!_ Also I was leaving a trail that showed exactly where I had come from. So quietly I walked around to make sure I left other footprints that would disguise the original ones, just in case she saw them. I needed to get to the attic, grab new clothes, take a quick shower and then clean the floor before Bella would wake up. That's when I heard her getting up. _The girl must have a sixth sense or something!_ I ran to the door which that time didn't play any trick on me and immediately opened. As I was closing it she came outside. _Phew! That was close!_ I heard her get downstairs so I grabbed some clothes and rags. I went to the bathroom, she was in the office but she wasn't doing anything, and took a quick shower. Then I cleaned the floor and went to my attic and waited for the sun to rise, lying in my mattress…

_Will she like the garden? Of course she will._

_No she won't. She's going to freak out. And think! When her friend sees it what is he going to think?_

_That she got someone to do the job for her. Of course!_

_I think she's going to hate it._

_Shut up! She'll love it!_

…

I woke up surprisingly early. It was already dark outside but it was… _5:30pm? What the hell?_ Maybe it was because of all the exercise I had done earlier. I was feeling really hungry actually. _That's probably it._ I got myself ready to go out but when I looked around I saw my dirty clothes and rags. _Maybe I should wash these. I'm going downstairs to the kitchen. Bella probably has some detergent there. Oh but at this time of the day she's probably home. _I began paying close attention to my surroundings to try and find her. Just thinking of her made my throat burn and I was really hungry. I immediately heard her heart. _Weird, she's in her room at this hour? Doing what?_ She was talking. _Maybe she's on the phone with someone… or "Jake"_. She wasn't. She was talking incoherent words. She was sleeping and dreaming. I was a strange hour to be sleeping but she had been awake at 5am so it was understandable. _Perfect!_ I went downstairs like a quiet mouse and entered the kitchen. There was food on the counter. _Why didn't she eat it? Wasn't she hungry? What if she's sick? _I approached the counter and noticed there was a paper next to the food so I picked it up. "Enjoy your breakfast".

_Huh? This is for me? She left me food?_

_Eeww! Milk! And cold toast!_

_Shut up! Poor angel. She thought of me! She is so adorable! She thought I would appreciate it._

_But it's gross!_

_Well, what did you expect? A glass of BLOOD? Jerk._

I couldn't believe the perfect girl had been thinking of me. Was she worried I wasn't feeding properly? I had been trying to make up for ruining her first morning in the house and she was being thoughtful and caring. My heart swelled. Detergent forgotten I grabbed the pen that was next to the paper, _she touched this pen!_, and wrote a reply: "Enjoy your garden." My handwriting was so different from hers. I felt embarrassed. I hadn't written in a long time and it looked so old fashioned. I put my insecurities aside and grabbed the milk and toast to take with me to my attic. I climbed the stairs again and again, as I was opening the door, I heard her move in her room. _It's becoming a habit._ I heard her go downstairs with hurry and then opening the front door. _Oh boy, she read my answer. _Her heart began to beat faster. She was looking at my work! Did it mean she liked it? Was she thinking it was creepy? She left with the boy and I immediately ran into the woods in desperate need of food.

…

I got home later that night. When I arrived she had just finished her shower. And I knew that because I saw her walk in a fast pace between the bathroom and the bedroom wrapped in nothing but a towel. I involuntarily released a grunt. She was stunning and her skin was so flawless. It almost seemed like I hadn't just eaten a double dose, with the way my mouth watered and my throat itched. It was ridiculous. I waited for her to settle down and went to the attic. She wasn't sleeping yet but she was already quiet. By that time I was already sort of comfortable moving around so I changed my clothes. It was still early so I decided to visit my parents' grave. I had been neglecting that part of my routine because of Bella so that night I was going to make up for it… lately I was having a lot to make up for.

The grave was already beginning to be invaded by weeds. I knelt and cleaned a little. After that I began talking. My voice was raspy; I couldn't even remember the last I had spoken.

"Hello Father… Hello Mother. I know I haven't been around lately. I'm sorry. But you'll never believe what happened!… I know, I know, it doesn't justify my absence, but Mom, I found her! I found the woman of my dreams! I wish you were here to see her. She doesn't know yet, but she will. She makes my heart beat faster and she makes me think happy thoughts. She makes me a better person! I even spent an entire night working in our garden! Can you believe it? Me! I gave her roses, you think she liked it? Yeah, that's what I thought too Mom. Women always love roses!... I'm going to make sure I make her happy, just like my Father made you… I love you both… and I miss you".

Feeling a little lighter I got up and began searching for a flower to leave my mother. I thought of the rosebush and ran to the house to grab one. When I got there I glanced at the garden. _It still looks so bare. Bella deserves so much more…_ With that in mind I ran again to the greenhouse I had gone to and picked a bed of white tulips. They looked so pure and perfect, just like my Bella. I went to Bibury again and planted the flowers in the garden. _Boy, I have been doing some significant exercise lately!_ I was extremely happy though so with a smile on my face I took a white tulip with me and left it on the bathroom sink. _It will be the first think she sees in the morning._ I took a nice hot shower and when I was heading to my attic I remembered the note she had left it. _What if she left another one? _Feeling excited I went downstairs and entered the kitchen. Sure enough, there was a plate of something and a box of something and another paper on the counter. Without looking at anything else I picked it: "Warm the soup. And take the cold medicine. I'm sure you'll need it. If you feel like it, I made some pasta. Thank you for the garden. You didn't have too." Of course I had to! She had no idea I was the one who ruined the water tank and the electric cables. And she was worried I was sick…_Yeah, sick with love!_ Of course I didn't want any pasta but I just couldn't leave the soup in the counter. I picked the cold medicine and put it in one of my pockets. The soup went down the drain. _I'm sorry angel._ Returning my attention to the paper again I picked the pen I wrote my answer: "Thank you for being so thoughtful. You needn't have. And don't thank me. It was the least I could do after what I did to you." Maybe after that she would get the hint.

I still had almost an hour before the sun would rise and I was feeling so awake, so alive, I didn't want to return to my decrepit attic yet. So instead of heading downstairs I headed to the sitting room. It smelled of her, the entire house did. I approached the middle of the room and lying on one of the sofas was a quilt. It looked so soft and I could tell it smelled of strawberries. The perfume stuck to everything. So I walked towards it and picked it up. _So soft, it almost seems like I'm touching her._ I sat on the couch and brought the quilt to my nose, inhaling deeply.

_Yeah, that's not creepy at all Edward._

_Shut up! I don't want to hear it. Don't ruin the moment._

Instead of sitting I decided to make myself at home and comfortably lay down. I put the quilt on top of me, pushing it all the way up so it covered my face and breathed in and out. Every time I inhaled my mouth watered and my throat itched but there was also some other part of my body that was reacting.

_What? You're just going to stand here? The sun is almost rising! You need to go upstairs._

_No I don't! Shush! I have time. It'll be just a few more minutes! Come on!_

_Fine. Don't say I didn't warn you!_

It was as if Bella as lying on top of me. I was enveloped by her scent. Her hair was forming a veil that encased both our faces inside it. Her deep brown eyes were looking straight into mine and she was smiling and adorable smile. Her heart was beating faster and she was breathing hard. I could almost taste her in my mouth. I had one hand around her head, touching her hair and holding her close to me and my other hand was on the small of her back, itching to go down a little and cup her perfect bottom. Her hands were also perfectly placed. One was close to my head, touching my hair; the other was touching my chest. She never stopped looking at me, she didn't even blink. And her big smile never left her face. And then she began approaching me, inching closer, her mouth slightly open, her lips almost touching mine, and then I passed out.

…

"Ouch! Shit! Fuck this hurts!" My eyes flew open and I was immediately panting as if I had just run a marathon.

_Oh no! I'm still on the couch! I never went upstairs! Fuck, fuck, fuck, she saw me! There's no way she didn't!_

_Told you so._

I tried to get up. _Oh no! It's not dark outside yet!_ I needed to move! I couldn't stay there! _Get up Edward! Come on! You can do it! It's almost dark. Try! _I supported myself on the couch and got up but stumbled and fell, hitting the small table that was close to the sofa. I almost dragged myself to the kitchen. I needed to see if she had answered me. I picked the paper without even looking at it, afraid she would come after me. I didn't even know where she was. _What if I cross paths with her?_ I began feeling the strength returning to my legs, my brain began to think clearly. I immediately headed upstairs and when I was safely inside my attic I slid down the closed door, my bottom hit the ground hard and with my knees close to my chest and my head resting on them, I panted until everything was silent and I could hear myself again.

_How could I have made such a mess? How could have been so reckless?_

_I warned you…_

_Shut up! God! I know! I'm so sick of you! Go away!_

Silence… I opened my hand where the paper was a crumbled mess. I straightened it and read her answer, admiring her strangely beautiful messy handwriting: "Feeling guilty were you? I think you are forgiven, though I would like to know why you did it. To be honest, there are a lot of things I would like to know. For starters, it would be nice if you told me who you are."

_She wants to know who I am… She wants to know who I am. What do I do? I can't tell her. She won't believe me. She'll panic. She'll run and tell everyone. She'll hate me and she'll be disgusted by me and she'll never want to see me again. She'll never love me. She'll never love a monster... YOU WANT TO KNOW WHO I AM, BELLA? I AM A MONSTER. A MONSTER WHO LIVES IN YOUR ATTIC._

…

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**a/n: psstt, let me tell you a secret. I'm really scared and i'm afraid to write more.**

**i wanted to give you this as fast as i could because now i'm going to need some time to think of what to do next. I know where i want this story to end, i just don't know how. Specially the POVs. So please, bear with me.**

**So, before i wish you all a happy new year (wait i just did), i want to ask you for reviews! They are as good as Edward's perfect feet :P**

**I hope 2011 begins the best way possible for all of you and i wish you have a lot of fun (don't have any alcohol if you're not of age, 16, 18, 21 or whatever) and i hope all your resolutions come true. HAPPY NEW YEAR!**


	10. 9 I'm Edward

**a/n: Hello everyone.**

**I know i said it was going to take me a little while to update but i had this sudden inspiration.**

**I want you to know that i wrote this chapter as more of a test than anything else. The thing is, it keeps changing POVs the entire time so i really want to know if it works for you or not. That way i'll know if it's okay to keep doing it.**

**I also want to know if what happens pleases you or if you think there's something missing.**

**Anyway, thank you for putting up with me.**

**I hope you enjoy it.**

**(i do not own anything that is not supposed to be mine)**

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**Edward**

I couldn't stay in the house anymore. I just couldn't bear to be so close to Bella and being afraid of seeing her, of going to visit her while she slept. She was curious about me so it meant she was more alert. At any chance she got she would probably jump on me and demand answers… Answers I wasn't able to give her… not then and probably not ever. I was almost positive she had seen me on the couch, which meant she had seen me not breathing. She must have found it weird, just another question to add to her list. So, instead of going hunting, which I was in great need of, I took everything I wanted with me, left the house and headed to my father's lab, deciding I was going to stay there from then on.

For the following days instead of living I simply existed. I woke up, went to my parents' grave just for the sake of keeping my promise, numbly headed to some place to feed and returned home. I began losing my appetite, so by the fourth night I wasn't hungry at all and didn't feel like going anywhere to run or jump or bother to kill some punk, so instead of hunting I thought _screw it!_ and climbed my tree, opened the upper floor window, went inside the house and creepily listened to Bella's heartbeat. It soothed me. I didn't dare to get closer though. I stood there until almost dawn. I did the same for the next days. On the eighth night I struggled to climb my tree. It was as if my body was getting heavier. Bella was having a dream and she was speaking so I approached her bedroom door and listened. "Where?... Why?... Who?...Silence… Too quiet… Alone… Scared… Night… Attic… Please don't go." I wasn't an idiot so I quickly figured she was dreaming about me. And she was scared of being alone at night because I was no longer living in the attic. My angel, I had abandoned her. _How could I have been so selfish?_ _Really Edward, you think of no one but yourself._ Mad at myself I ran away, decided to go to the lab to mentally punish myself comfortably and safely. But when I got close to it I looked at the grave "AAARRGH! NOT AGAIN! STUPID WEEDS! WHY DO YOU KEEP GROWING? THIS IS MY PARENTS' GRAVE! YOU DON'T GET TO TAKE IT!" I began kicking the stone, gripping at the vegetation, ripping it, a wave of anger and desperation crashing inside me. I fell on my knees and started speaking and sobbing at the same time, my face hidden in my hands, incapable of controlling myself "I don't know what to do! Please mother, help me! What can I do to make everything work?… She can't know anything about me. But she wants to know me and I want her to know me and I want to know her… so badly! I'm not even making any sense! When she finds out, IF she finds out, she'll run. I'll disgust her! How couldn't I? I'm a murderer! I feed on human blood! Who can love such a creature? Father loved you because you had a great heart, you were kind and sweet and loving… but I'm not! I've never even stood close to a woman without killing her! How could I ever be with Bella? I could kill her just by trying to touch her! It's so hard to be near her without going for her neck! And I know you don't know what I'm talking about, how could you? You were always a good person; you only took the lives of animals. And when she finds out I killed innocent people… Oh god, I'm such a monster… But I love Bella so much. I want to be there for her so much. Did you know she misses me? Yes! I know! Isn't it great? Do you think that deep down she believes I'm good?"

"Yes."

_Huh?_

_...  
_

**Bella**

Around 5:30am I decided to get up. I was tired of trying to get back to sleep after an hour of looking at the ceiling. There was just no use; he wasn't going to magically pop up there. He wasn't going to answer me and he wasn't going to eat any more of my meals or use my bathroom for a shower. I wanted to look into his orange eyes again, and I wanted to see is gorgeous face, and look at his perfect feet. And I wanted to hear him walk around above me and I wanted to find him again sleeping on my couch. _It was a really weird encounter. He wasn't even breathing. He probably has health issues. _I looked outside the window, it was dark but not pitch black because the moon was shining brightly, and it was close to dawn after all. It seemed the wind had calmed down and it wasn't raining. I suddenly felt an urge to go outside and breathe some fresh air. So I put on my boots and a warm sweater and went outside.

I could hear crickets and owls. _It looks like I'm in The Snow White._ I began walking towards the trees. _I can walk just a little into the woods and head back. No big deal._ So I embraced myself and began walking. I had a smile on my face as I heard the earth beneath me crunching as I stepped in it. When I got closer to the trees I heard a different sound. There was someone not far from me and he or she was crying and talking. My heart began to beat faster.

_Who, in their right mind, is in the middle of the woods at 5:30 in the morning?_

_Hmm… Hello? You._

_Oh right._

Whoever it was was sad. _Should I go there?_ _Maybe he or she needs help? What if he or she is trapped? I could do a rescue and be a hero!_ So I began walking towards the voice. As I approached it I could tell it belonged to a man and he was sobbing pretty hard. _Poor guy, what happened to him?_ And then my brain clicked. _Oh shit! What if it's him? What do I do if it's him?_ It was that first night I saw him all over again. But I wasn't going to turn around. So I continued walking like a quiet little mouse and when I got closer I heard what he was saying and my breath caught in my throat.

"I'm such a monster… But I love Bella so much. I want to be there for her so much. Did you know she misses me? Yes! I know! Isn't it great?" He chuckled. He had such an incredible voice, deep and raspy and so… manly! But also so soft and sad. My heart got tinny. _Who is he talking to though?_

"Do you think that deep down she believes I'm good?" He whispered.

And before I even had time to register what I was thinking I said it out loud: "Yes."

_Holly shit!_ My hands flew to my mouth. _Ooh crap! Now he definitely knows I'm here and that I heard him._

He turned around and I was met with the most pained face I had ever seen. Our eyes locked and we stood there for minutes, breathing heavily. _What did he mean he was such a monster? And he knows my name. How? And he loves me? How could he? I must have heard it wrong. And how does he know I missed him? And he seemed happy with that… I'm so confused!_

_...  
_

**Edward**

I froze and inhaled deeply. It was Bella and she was standing behind me, a few feet away. Her heart was beating faster and her breathing was accelerated. I was becoming really reckless. How could I have not noticed her? I knew I could spot her in a crowd with my eyes closed and yet, there I was, completely alone, and had completely missed her strawberry perfume. I was such an idiot. I turned around and was met with the most confused face I had ever seen. Poor girl, it was enough I was crazy, I didn't want her to become one too. Our eyes locked and we stood there for minutes, breathing heavily. She had her hands covering her pretty lips. Her answer! She had answered me which meant she had heard me! _Oh god! What did she hear? Has_ _she heard my entire rant or has she heard only the last part? Probably the second. If she had been here the entire time she wouldn't have said "yes". She would have left screaming and called the police. But she's going to find me weird either way. Maybe she heard I love her, and that I know her name, and oh god that I know she misses me. How am I going to explain THAT? I'm so screwed._

_...  
_

**Bella**

I didn't move, I didn't know what to do. It was as if we were both waiting for the other to say something, react. How could I be the one to break the ice? I was the one eavesdropping, I had intruded! I couldn't bear the tension of our locked eyes so I suddenly found my feet very interesting, moving awkwardly from side to side, ruffling the soil. I couldn't believe I was going to speak but I had to apologize.

"I'm sorry."

...

**Edward**

She was sorry. _For what? For being perfect? For turning my world upside down? For making me feel human and alive and happy and worth of something?_

_Say something Edward! Don't leave the girl hanging!_

_Oh right! Right! Shit! Hmm…_

"Please. Don't say that. There's nothing to be sorry for."

She wasn't looking at me anymore. Was she disgusted by me? Was she afraid? Maybe she had heard me after all.

She said something but I didn't quite catch it. _What the hell? Am I deaf or something?_ So I waited to see if she was going to repeat it… louder preferably. She raised her head and looked me in the eyes again but it was hard to see her, the lightning wasn't good enough.

"How do you know my name?"

Her voice was louder this time but still not enough and she sounded nervous. _At least she's making questions about her. What do I say? Should I tell her the truth? That I eavesdropped? _If I wanted to attempt any kind of relationship with her I had to be honest about everything… okay, almost everything.

"I… I heard you talking… with someone. And he called you Bella."

_There! I said it! Phew!_

"Oh…"

_Oh? What does that mean, oh? Is it good? Is she mad?_

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. It's just that…"

_Yeah you didn't mean to. Right. You're so full of shit Edward!_

_Hey! Weren't you gone?_

"Oh, no. Please… That's okay. I mean… No harm done."

_Yes!_

"But don't you think it would only be fair if I knew yours?"

_Damn! Her voice is much more confident this time. She spoke clearly. Maybe she isn't scared after all. Come on Edward! You can do it! Say it! Out loud!_

"Hmm…" I cleared my throat… "I'm…" one more time… "Edward."… "My name is Edward."

"Hi Edward. It is very nice to meet you."

And she smiled at me! _Ooooh god! She's smiling! For me!_ I was feeling like an overly excited little school girl. _You are pathetic!_

"Hi… Bella. It is very nice to meet you too." And then I returned the smile.

...

**Bella**

_Finally! Something!_ He had finally given me something on him. And accompanied by the most amazingly breathtaking smile I had ever seen. Edward… what an old fashioned name. It was beautiful though, especially coming from his mouth. Every word that came from his mouth sounded beautiful. _Aaah, the English gentlemen._ Okay, so introductions were made and I knew he had been eavesdropping. _I guess we're even then!_

"Well, I guess we're even then!" I chuckled.

"Excuse me?"

"Yes, well. I eavesdropped on you but now I know you did the same with me so… I guess we're even!" I tried to sound cute. It probably worked because he also chucked.

"Yes, we could say that. But if we're measuring things here, I would say you still have a lot of eavesdropping to do." He brought his right hand to his hair, nervously ruffling it, his right hand inside his pocket.

Awkward. So he had been spying on me… a lot.

An eerie silence settled again between us. This time I wasn't going to speak though. I wanted to see what he had to say too. I had mustered up enough courage to ask him his name and I even joked a little, so now I was going to wait and see what he had to give.

...

**Edward**

I couldn't believe the sun was about to rise. The moment would be completely ruined! I needed to hold on a little longer, just a little so I could speak to her and look into her beautiful eyes. Now that the sky was becoming brighter I was able to see her clearly. She had her hair a little messy, it was so cute! Her big brown eyes were alert, taking everything around her in. Her beautiful lips were slightly parted and her cheeks were flushed from the cold. She had her hands stuffed inside the pockets of a huge fluffy sweater and she was wearing pajama bottoms and some big boots. She was simply adorable. I needed to say something, it was probably wise to tell her I needed to go, but I didn't want to disappoint her, not when everything was going smoothly!

"Hmm… Bella?"

"Yes?"

She looked curious. I interested her. It made me so happy.

"Listen, I… I really want to stay here… with you… but I'm afraid I'm going to have to leave. You see, it's almost day and…" My heart hurt.

"Oh, no. Of course. I don't want to keep you. I'm sure you have… other places to be."

She sounded so sad! _Shit! I hurt her feelings!_

I bravely took a few steps forward but she gasped so I stopped. I guessed it was too fast for her. I couldn't push my luck.

"Oh, no! That's not it! I just… I have to go because…" I didn't know what to say.

_Shit, I'm fucking things up._

_...  
_

**Bella**

I was looking intently at him because with the sky getting lighter I could see him clearer. He was different. The thing I immediately noticed was his eyes. They were not the orange I had seen that first night. They were really dark, like red but not bright red. Like red wine red. _He is sick!_ And then he began talking and saying he had to leave. He didn't want to stay with me. Of course not! He probably had some place to be, someone to be with. I'm sure my face showed my disappointment. That's when he moved. But he moved towards me so fast I gasped. He scared me. How did he do that? And then he was super nervous, trying to find excuses. I could see he was trying hard, poor guy.

"No, Edward, really, I understand. Actually I'm getting cold and I could use something to eat so… I'll get going. See you around?" And I gave him a weak smile.

I wanted to sound casual but it was not working. I also couldn't make my body turn away. My brain was screaming at me to leave but… Who was this man? What was wrong with him? I had so many questions and zero answers. I really hopped I would see him again.

"Yes, Bella. I guess it is cold." He looked at the top of the trees and our surroundings. Then he looked at me and his eyes began to drop. "Maybe I'll see you tonight?" It was more of a question than a statement but before I could answer him, he dropped dead in front of me and his body fell hard on the ground.

* * *

**a/n: oookay. so... leave a review please!**

**And i want to thank everyone who reviewed the last chapter and everyone who thought this story was worth following =)**

**kisses  
**


	11. 10 Beliefs

**a/n: Helloooo people!**

**Sooo, how was that New Year's Eve party? Hmmm? Mine was cool, some singing and dancing and drinking. The sad part was we celebrated the new year 10 minutes earlier because we were following this tv show that got us confused because they opened the champaign bottles too early. Damn them!**

**But who knows? Maybe that was a sign i was going to have a good year because i finally found a job! YAY!**

**That being said i really hope to find time in my head to continue writing this story. I'm going to really try though because i'm hooked.**

**I want to first thank my mother who kind of beta-ed me in this chapter. I wrote and deleted and wrote and deleted. It seemed i couldn't find the right way to make things happen, but she made some suggestions and i went with them. so if you don't like it blame her, not me! =D**

**Now, thanks everyone who's following this story and who reviewed (i hope i replied everyone who did!). Believe me i treasure you all.**

**See you at the bottom!**

**I don't own them but i do own his super sexy feet *wink*  
**

* * *

**Bella**

"Edward!" I ran towards his lifeless body and knelt next to him. I approached him and brought my face close to his. I was trying to listen for his heart or his breath or something though with my heart pounding in my ears it was really hard. He wasn't breathing. _Hoooly shit! Did he just die in front of me? _I began to shake him and calling his name but he was like a corpse. "Edward! Don't you dare die on me! Wake up! Come on, please!" I was screaming at that point and grabbing him by his shirt and shaking him. I picked up his arms and released them and they fell hard on the ground. There was just no use; he was limp and dead as a doornail. So, trembling really hard and biting my nails, I began thinking of my choices: I could call someone, 112 or Jacob… _Naaah, it doesn't sound like a good idea. I never told Jacob about him and plus Edward had a weird lifestyle and I don't want to compromise it or him._ I could just leave him there and go away. It's not like anyone would miss him.

_Oh Bella! Hear yourself!_

_You're right. I could never do that._

As I was pondering my options and looking at Edward laying on the ground I remembered the last time I had seen him. It was a similar situation actually. I had found him in my couch and I had noticed his chest wasn't moving. _He wasn't breathing back then just like he isn't breathing now. Hmmm… _He had woken up when he heard me shout so it meant he wasn't dead after all. _What if he isn't dead now? What if he just passed out or has some kind of disease that doesn't allow him to bear sunlight or daily hours or something? _I couldn't find any plausible explanation but I felt it wasn't the right moment to be thinking about oneso I decided to drag him with me inside the house and wait. If he woke up later then he would surely have some much needed answers for me.

With that thought I got up and began analyzing him. He was wearing worn jeans and his shirt looked… old. He wasn't smelly though. _Maybe he doesn't like spending money on clothes… Or maybe he doesn't have money! Poor guy. That probably explains why he's living in my attic._ He was wearing some old sneakers too. They looked like they could use a retirement. Looking at his body lying on the ground, it looked big.

_He looks kind of heavy; do I drag him from his arms or his legs? Maybe from the legs is easier… _

_But then his head is going to hit everything. You're going to give him a bump in the head or something. And I don't want to mess his pretty hair!_

_Okay, arms it is!_

I went for his arms and as I was doing so I saw something that stood out from the ground. It was a big stone, shaped like a gravestone.

_Wow! Is this a grave? Was he talking to a stone? Who the hell is buried in here, in the middle of nowhere? Did he bury someone, a family member? Oh my God! Did he kill someone? I heard him say he was a monster! Ooh shit! He's a murderer! I have a killer living with me! I'm going to drag a killer inside my house and put him on my couch!_

_But he looks so nice and peaceful! Look at his angelic face. He's so cute!_

_Yeah, cute murderer!_

_Shut up! You don't know him!_

_Well, neither do you!_

_If he wanted to kill me he would have done so a long time ago. He said he loved me!_

_Yeah, to a stone! What if he's one of those psychos? "I'm going to have to kill you because I love you Bella."_

_You're an idiot!_

_Don't say I didn't warn you!_

With hopes he would give me all the answers I wanted I grabbed his wrists and began pulling him with me towards the house. His skin was really pale, soft and cold, colder than mine. He was really heavy but the humid soil beneath him helped a little since I was a little weak from hunger and cold. He didn't make a sound, he didn't flinch. Nothing. _Good. He won't have anything to complain about when he wakes up… IF he wakes up. _I seriously hoped he would. The sun was surprisingly shinning a little through the heavy clouds. It wouldn't take long for it to disappear and for the rain to take command once again though. _Just another day in Bibury_. I began to reach the end of the woods and I could see the house if I looked behind my shoulder.

As I walked I could feel becoming warmer. The trees were like a shield. As soon as the first ray of sun touched my face I couldn't help but smile: I really loved the sun. Even the air smelled better. But apparently dead as a doornail Edward didn't share the same feelings and wasn't that out after all, because as soon as the sun hit the little skin showing of his forearms he began to scream like I had never heard before. I immediately stopped and let go of his wrists and went to his face. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! Shit! Edward, what is it? Tell me what is going on! Please!" He stopped screaming and opened his piercing dark eyes, they were huge. He just looked at me in complete panic and then closed them tight and resumed the screaming. It was echoing through the air. "Shit! Please shut up Edward! Please. Someone is going to hear you! I'll make it okay. I promise. Just please hold on a little!". Crying hard I went for his arms and pulled his sleeves until they were covering his entire skin. After a few seconds he stopped screaming. _His face! What am I going to do with it?_ I took my sweatshirt off and placed it on top of his head, making sure I covered all the skin that was showing. Then I grabbed him again and resumed my walk. It was harder; I was feeling weaker and weaker because I was really stressed out and nervous and I was also sobbing. _The sun hurt him but how? It's not like he caught on fire or something. I didn't see anything different._

Finally I was walking the front yard and couldn't help but smile at the view between my sobs and tears. He had done a really good job with it. I opened the front door but before I brought him inside I looked at him and grimaced. _He's all dirty. I can't just drag him inside; he'll ruin the floor and the couch._

_Oh Bella! You evil evil girl! Are you going to take his clothes off?_

_NO!... Maybe? It's not like he's going to notice it! I could take them off, wash them and dry them and dress him again._

So I did. I took my sweater off his head and then his shoes and his socks. _Hmm, his feet are so perfect!_ I was going for his pants next but I was feeling nervous about that part so I went for the shirt first. It was really dirty. It almost looked not worthy of washing but I didn't have anything else for him to wear and the attic was surely closed. His chest was to die for. He wasn't particularly muscular but he was flat and strong. And his chest hair was the same color of his hair. So sexy! I needed to find the courage to take off his pants so I deeply inhaled and exhaled and went for the button. But when I was beginning to pull them down I found out he wasn't wearing any underwear. "Hoooly shit!" so I quickly put them back to where they belonged.

With thoughts of Edward going commando I went to the kitchen and put the clothes in the washer. When I returned to the hall I found Edward as I had left him. So I picked him up again and dragged him to the living room. I was feeling so tired I wasn't able to put him on the couch though. _I can't just leave him on the floor! _But I had no other option so I went to my room, grabbed some fluffy blankets and went downstairs to the living room again where I placed them on the ground. Then I rolled him until he was lying on top of them and carefully inspected him to see if he had any scratches or wounds or anything but he didn't and since he was still cold I covered him with the quilt I had brought with me from Forks. I decided to place the quilt like when I had found him, covering his entire body except his feet. It made me chuckle.

After I had done everything I could I went to the kitchen to eat something and wait for the washer to finish. Then I put them on the dryer and grabbed the mop to clean the mess Edward's pants had made on the floor. Completely spent I went upstairs to take a relaxing bath and think about everything that had happened in the past 2 hours. I didn't have a lot of time to think or relax though because after 20 minutes on the tub I heard a car approaching and park outside. "Nooo! Why is everything happening to me? Whyyy? I just wanted to have a quiet life in the quiet and peaceful Bibury! Aaarrrgggg!" I knew it was Jacob which meant I was in trouble. I needed to get ready fast and he couldn't get inside or he would find a dead man on my living room floor. So I ran out of the bathroom and into my bedroom. By the time I got there my phone was vibrating. I picked it up and sure enough it was him. _Ok Bella, breathe!_

"Hello?" _Good one Bella. Pretend you were sleeping._

"Hi Bella! I'm sorry did I wake you?" _Spot on!_

"Hmm. Kinda. Yeah. How are you Jacob and what can I do for you?"

"Well. Since the weather is so nice today I thought I could pick you up and we could go somewhere. I don't know…" He sounded nervous.

"Hmm. Yeah, I guess. Okay." _Edward isn't going to wake up soon anyway. I'm not going to just spend the rest of the day looking at his feet… _"When are you picking me up?" I wanted to sound clueless.

"About that… I'm kind of… right outside your house already." He chuckled.

"Oh! You waste no time then I see. Give me ten minutes and I'll meet you in the car okay?" No chance for him to invite himself in.

"Yeah, sure. I brought breakfast!"

"Okay, see you in ten!"

And with that I quickly dried myself and my hair, put on some clothes and ran downstairs. But before I left I decided it was better to leave Edward a note, just in case he would wake up before I got home.

"Dear Edward,

Don't freak out because you're half naked. I took some of your clothes and washed them. You can find them in the dryer that's in the kitchen. Also I thought it would be better to bring you inside the house so I dragged you in. That is why you are on the floor with dirty pants.

I'll try to be home early. Please don't leave. I really want to talk to you a little more.

I really hope to find you here.

Bella

PS: maybe you should try and put some underwear on. I heard that's what men usually do."

I thought about not writing that last part but I wanted to ease the mood between us and I wanted him to see I had a little humor in me. I grabbed some adhesive tape and giggling a little I stuck the note to his right foot. That way he would definitely find it. Picking my coat and bag from the hanger by the door I left the house and headed to Jacob's truck, where he was waiting for me with a wide white smile in his face, though kind of awkward, and a styrofoam cup in his hand.

…

"You're awful quiet today. Everything alright?"

My mouth was kind of full with the second doughnut of the morning so I just replied a muffled "myeah", and sipped on the coffee to have an excuse for not making conversation. Jacob was looking at me sideways so I gestured my hands for him to speak for me.

"So, I wanted to talk to you about something…"

"mmokay…" He was making me nervous. Did he know about Edward? did he want to talk to me about it?

"Where do you want to go? It's nice outside so I was thinking maybe we could walk a little, have some fresh air. You spend too much time inside that decrepit house." He smirked.

"Hey!" By then I had finished the doughnut so I had no excuses. "Don't talk like that. The house is great!" _Not to mention the sexy weird guy that came with it._

"So, what do you think?"

"Yeah, whatever you want Jake."

He flashed me his teeth and then turned on the radio. We sang a few songs together and laughed. I had to admit I kind of missed company who I actually hanged out with.

"First I need to go and check on my dad, open the store, is that okay with you?"

"Sure, I want to say hi to him."

So we went to "the center" together. When we got inside the store Billy was already working behind the counter, putting some boxes in the lower shelves. He didn't look happy. I looked at Jacob and he just shrugged.

"Hey Billy! How you doing?" I tried to use my cheerful voice.

"Oh, hey Bella. Yeah, not so good… not so good." He was moody. He picked a few boxes from the ground and wheeled himself to the back of the store.

Jacob came closer to me and whispered in my ear: "He's pissed because he thinks someone broke into the store and stole some tools and materials. I told him it was impossible. I checked the register and the alleged missing stuff but there's no money missing so everything he claims was stolen was paid for. He just doesn't want to face the fact he's getting old."

"Ooh, I see. And did you tell him that?" I whispered back.

"Well, yeah, I did." He said awkwardly, scratching the back of his head.

I punched him hard in the arm. "You insensitive… you! No wonder he's in such a bad mood! You don't go around saying that to your father! The poor man! Isn't it enough he's in a wheelchair you go and tell him he's becoming loony?"

"Ouch, Bella! Well, maybe I shouldn't have but he's just stubborn. The evidences are clear. Nothing was stolen!"

"Whatever Jake… Hey Billy!" I shouted making sure he heard me. "What do you say I make you a delicious lunch?"

"That would be really nice of you Bella, sure… If you want to."

He came back to the front of the store wearing a little smile on his face. _That's better!_

…

I ended up spending the day with Billy and Jacob at their place. I cooked for them and then we talked and laughed. By the time I left Billy was much happier, maybe because I made sure to chastise Jacob for being mean to his father in front of him. It was the first time I saw Jacob blush. _Eheh_. Billy just smirked at me when we said our goodbyes. It was getting late and the sun was going to set in maybe an hour or so, I needed to go home but Jacob still had to talk to me about that something he wanted to talk to me about.

…

"So, my plans for the day went down the drain." He said as we drove to my place.

"Yeah." I chuckled. "But I had fun. Did you?"

"Oh, absolutely. There's nothing like my friend calling on me in front of my father. It was really cool of you Bella, thanks!" He said sarcastically.

"Oh come on Jacob! You know you deserved it. And it made your father less cranky so I say you should be thankful!" I smiled at him and lightly punched him on the arm. "So, tell me, what did you want to talk to me about?"

"Oh, never mind. It was nothing important. We'll talk another time perhaps?"

"Okay, whatever you say Jake! But I wouldn't say it was not important. For you to wake me up at 8 in the morning and drag me outside the house to go somewhere to walk and talk, it's got to…"

"I think you're hiding something from me." He blurted out.

"What?" _Where did that come from?_

"Yeah. That's right." He stopped the truck in a deserted road closer to my house. We were surrounded by trees and it was becoming darker. I just looked at him like a fish out of the water.

"You have to understand Bella. That house you're living in... Look, everyone knows some serious business happened in there. And since day one some things don't work right. First it was the water and electricity. Someone crashed the water tank and cut the cables, that's for sure! Then I wanted to get inside the attic to fix the window but the door didn't open, nor did the window! And there are stories Bella! Stories you don't know about! And then I ask you about the key and you always dismiss the subject like it's no big deal but it is! And then your front yard suddenly is all clean and even has new plants. Do you expect me to believe you did that alone?"

I was speechless. What was I going to answer to that? "Where did that come from Jake? I don't know what you're talking about." I said turning my face away from him and looking at the front of the truck.

"See! Right there! THAT look, Bella! Don't fool me! Do you know what happened in that house? That house is haunted for over a hundred years!"

"What? Ahahah! Jacob that is nonsense! You don't seriously believe that, do you?" I snorted. It was crazy to believe in those things. But he was shouting at me like it was my fault or something.

"I do, yes! And so do the people of Bibury! Did you know people died in your house Bella? I bet you didn't! And did you know people who lived there disappeared and were never seen again? And their spirits still live in the house! That woman, that American woman, proved it!"

I opened my mouth to speak but he didn't let me talk.

"You should listen to your mother, Bella." He was looking at me with an intense stare at that point.

"Everyone thought she was insane at first of course. She was attracted by the subject. She loved to visit haunted houses. She said she could talk to the spirits and free them and shit. We used to laugh at her eccentricities but then she began to tell us things and her husband, Phil, who wasn't into any of that, always confirmed what she told us."

"Oh come on Jacob. You´re being silly and you're kind of annoying me right now."

"No! You need to listen. She said there was a spirit living there that moved the furniture and changed things and did stuff. And she also said there was something about the attic. Of course I believe that! And that probably is the same spirit who KILLED SIX people in that house! Do you understand that Bella? And I think you know it and you're afraid of telling someone! Don't be afraid Bella! You have to tell someone!"

I was really pissed. "Look, Jacob. I'm going to leave now. And you better not follow me or tell any more of that bullshit. Of course there's not a spirit living in the house that can move furniture! That's ridiculous. If you believe that, fine! But don't come rubbing your beliefs on others. You don't know me that well and you don't have the right to yell at me like that. So I will really appreciate if you stop talking to me for a while. I'll call you some day."

With that I hopped out of the truck and stormed off towards home, leaving a dumbfounded Jacob behind.

…

The entire walk home the smoke coming out of my ears was almost visible… almost. I was fuming. I was also stomping my feet on the ground pretty hard. _How dare he? Who does he think he is, talking to me like that? And about spirits! He's completely crazy!_

I was walking really fast because the sun was already gone and I was really cold. Luckily it wasn't raining. The silence around me wasn't helping clearing my mind off the things Jacob had said to me though. It was true I didn't know anything about the house I was living in, but I should have known SIX people had died in there, right? Maybe I should try and find something about it. Why didn't he or Billy tell me about that before? _Now I understand those weird looks they gave me the first time I got here._

In my mind I began to find a reason for the furniture moving and things happening in the house. It could only have been Edward. He was already living in the house by the time Renee arrived and he probably heard about her beliefs so he took advantage of them and pretended to be a spirit. It made me chuckle. How he was able to move furniture without being seen was beyond me though.

I still had the deaths to think about though. _Six deaths. Edward must be what? Around my age certainly. But if Jacob says the house is haunted for more than a hundred years… But I found Edward talking to a gravestone… _I was so confused. There was really something missing in the whole story. Could have Edward killed his parents or someone close to him? He sounded really affected. But he didn't strike me as the killer type.

I was getting closer to the house so my thoughts began drifting back to the man lying on my living room floor. It was already dark so he was probably already awake. Would I find him sitting on the couch waiting for me? Dressed? Would he be as nervous as I was? What if he didn't read my note and left? He was probably freaked out or mad at me for eavesdropping on him… But he did say he did the same and a lot more than I did.

I gently opened the front door and once inside I peeked into the living room where I found empty blankets and an empty couch. My heart dropped. I took off my jacket and my bag and placed them in the hanger. Then I scanned the rest of the rooms downstairs. His clothes were still on the dryer. I was really tired; suddenly all I wanted was to sleep. I began climbing the stairs so I could just crash in my bed, bury my face in a pillow and wake up whenever. _He left. He doesn't want to talk to me anymore. Of course not, why would he? He won't come back ever again. _I put my left feet in the last step and heard a gasp. I quickly raised my head to see a hunched Edward, half inside the window, half outside, messy hair, wide eyes looking straight at me, shocked face... and a shirt completely soaked in blood.

_Holy shit._

_

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_**a/n: i feel like i kind of need to explain something.**

**I know that you're all probably wondering what the hell happened to Jacob. I'll just say: remember what his roots are and where he came from ;) if it's not enough, talk to me... or my mother! ;)**

**I also need to warn you that i had to make some changes in the first chapter so there weren't any plot holes and also on chapter 6. They're not really important though because at this point you've already forgotten them, so it's cool ;)**

**And see! My Edward doesn't sparkle! And he also doesn't burn like a grilled chicken! Right, meab1966? ;)  
**

**I seriously hope you enjoyed this chapter, if not, you're free to tell me so. Either way: review please!**

**kisses and i'll see you soon! =)**


	12. 11 Revelations

**a/n: hi everyone.**

**i'm really spent and i really want to go to sleep so tonight i'm going to be short.**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed and added this story to their alerts and favorites. I heart you all.**

**I don't own them of course.**

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**Edward**

"Oh my God! Edward, what happened to you? How did you hurt yourself like that!" She screamed and ran towards me, putting one hand on my back and another in my trembling hand, trying to help me get inside. I couldn't say anything, just stared at her like she had grown a second head.

_Is she seriously asking me if I'm alright? Why isn't she running? She should be scared of me! Instead she's worried about me. I'm so screwed… What am I going to tell her? This was NOT what I had planned!_

…

I had woken up around 6pm with a pain in my throat so big I thought I was burning. When I opened my eyes I saw… black. I had something in my face and it smelled of Bella. _Hmm… strawberries! Delicious! _It only made the pain worse. It was the same quilt I had covered myself with the night I had fell asleep in her couch… _Where am I?_ I quickly pulled the quilt off me and propped myself up in my elbows to take in my surroundings. I was in the living room of my house. _How the hell did I get here? Why am I half naked?_ _And my pants are all dirty. Did I drag myself here? _Immediately I saw flashes of Bella screaming my name, my skin burning, a piercing pain coursing through me, mixed with intense hunger, her scared and panicked face looking at me, more screaming. _Oh shit! She dragged me here and she saw my reaction to the sun! _I got up quickly but when I took the first step to move to my attic to put some clothes on and go hunting, I felt something on my right foot. It was a piece of paper stuck with adhesive tape. _Very effective, Bella! _I picked it up and read it.

"Dear Edward,

Don't freak out because you're half naked. I took some of your clothes and washed them. You can find them in the dryer that's in the kitchen. Also I thought it would be better to bring you inside the house so I dragged you in. That is why you are on the floor with dirty pants.

I'll try to be home early. Please don't leave. I really want to talk to you a little more.

I really hope to find you here.

Bella

PS: maybe you should try and put some underwear on. I heard that's what men usually do."

I groaned and facepalmed. _As if it wasn't enough I look like a complete freak now she also thinks I don't wear any underwear. Oh god how embarrassing!_ _She probably tried to take off all my clothes to wash them and then she saw… Did she look at it? _I was feeling really embarrassed, for me and for her. But she wanted to see me again and talk to me. Of course she did, she was probably completely confused with the whole situation and with dozens of questions to ask me and I still wasn't prepared to answer any. But if I wanted to be there with her, for her, I needed to hunt as soon and as fast as possible because I wouldn't be able to stand next to her without posing a threat.

Instead of grabbing the freshly cleaned clothes I went to the attic to dress something else, I was going to get dirty again, and then I climbed down my tree and ran like a wild animal through the woods. _I need to hunt fast so I can return before she gets home. I don't want her to think I left… again!_ Of course the plans didn't go as smoothly as I had wanted. It was too early which made it difficult to find someone that fit the usual profile. I had a hard time to find someone and when I finally did, the guy put up quite the fight. I was so pissed and angry I was reckless. So I made a total mess and got all filthy. _Damn! Why can't just one thing go right? Why?_ So I quickly ran back home, avoiding any type of visual contact with humans.

When I was getting home though, things got even worse. I smelled Bella's perfume from where I was running. I stopped running and walked until I found her. I followed her so I could listen to her and see her. She was walking up the street I was running along with it, covered by the trees. She looked mad. She was grunting and panting and she was stomping her feet with more force than needed. _That's all I need, an angry Bella who's going home just to find it empty. She's pissed and she'll get even more. Fuck my life. _I had seen some very angry women in my time so I knew it wasn't a pretty scene. With that thought I was about to resume my running so I could get to the house before her when I smelled something else. _Jacob_. Bella smelled of him. _Is she mad at him? I hope she is! But what did the boy do to her? I'm going to kill him if he hurt her!_ So instead of doing the right thing I went back and followed her trail to see if I could find him. But her scent suddenly stopped in the middle of the road_. She was on his truck and she got out on this spot._ I felt the situation wasn't worth my neck so I went back to try and get home before Bella. I was too late though.

When I got to the house Bella was already inside. _Shit. Okay. I'm going to get inside the house from my usual entrance and I'm going to run to the attic, change and then go downstairs to find her. I hope she doesn't get too mad though. _When I went to the side of the house I saw her cross the living room into the corridor that led to the kitchen and the office. I went for my tree and climbed it. Slowly opened the window and as usual put one of my feet inside and the other remained outside, but I immediately smelled a strong strawberry scent and couldn't help but release a gasp. There was Bella looking at me like she had seen a ghost.

…

"Why aren't you talking?"

_Why am I not talking?_

"Did you hurt yourself?"

_No._ "No?"

"No? You don't know? You don't remember?"

_I do._ "Kind of."

"Okay, Edward. Don't worry. Come, I'll help you to get to the bathroom."

_Oh God kill me now._

"Wait! Why were you getting inside the house from THAT window? It's high!" She paused for 3 seconds… "Oh my God! That's it! That's why I never saw how you get in and out!"… 3 more seconds… "The footprints! Were you trying to get yourself killed? You could have fallen!"

_I wasn't but I am now!_

"You know, you could have asked to use the front door…" She said in a much calmer and sort of numb voice.

"I don't mind." I gave her a weak smile.

She returned it. "Either way you shouldn't have. That's probably what happened now. You fell and hurt yourself." She was trying to get the information out of me.

"Not really… Look, Bella…" I said, pulling away from her. She made a face. I took a deep breath to embrace myself, get some courage to say what I was about to say.

"I really appreciate your concern and I'm glad you're worried and that you authorize me to use the front door… but I'm not hurt. I just had a long… hour? And I would really appreciate it if you could just... leave… so I could take a shower, change clothes, you know? Then we can talk and I'll tell you what happened, okay?"

"Oh… hmmm… okay." It didn't sound like it was okay though. She was sad and… angry? "Make sure you hurry then, it's late, I had a really shitty evening and I'm starting to get a little… annoyed by a lot of things. So, if you don't mind, don't take too long using my shower, changing clothes in my attic and meeting me downstairs on my living room. See you soon." And with that she stormed out of the bathroom closing the door behind her with too much force. I heard her get down the stairs stomping her feet also pretty hard. _Again, fuck my life._

**Bella**

Okay, things were starting to get a little too cryptic for my liking. If he wasn't hurt then why the hell was he covered in blood? I began to panic. _Is he really a killer? Oh God, it can't be. No. It was probably animal blood; he's a hunter or something. Or he found someone in trouble, some accident, and he helped. _And why was he refusing to give me any answers? I made a mental list of things I knew about him.

_His name is Edward. But what is the rest of his name?_

_He spent quite some time eavesdropping on me. Why?_

_He uses the window from the upper floor hall to get inside and outside the house. Why?_

_He sleeps or kind of dies during the day and wakes up when the sun sets. Why?_

_He has some weird reaction to the sun. Why?_

_He talks to a gravestone hidden in the woods. Why? Whose grave is it?_

_He told the stone he loved me. What the hell?_

_His eyes change color. The first time I saw him they were orange, a few hours ago they were a really dark red, now they are orange again._

_He ruined the water and electrical supplies the first night I got here. Why?_

_He was living here already when my mother bought the house. He must be around my age now so he was… 20 back then? Why would a 20 year old guy be living alone it the attic of an old house?_

I was getting really tired but I needed to wait for him to be ready. I went to the kitchen while the water was still running upstairs. He was probably delaying the talk. I made a sandwich for me and poured a glass of pineapple juice but before I went to the living room I made the same for him, placed the items in a tray and went to the couch. I had the feeling it was going to be a long night so I took off my boots, and comfortably propped my legs up on the couch and covered them with my quilt.

**Edward**

I knew I was taking more time than usual to have a shower but first: I knew that time Bella was aware I was using it so there was no need to rush; second: I was really in need of a long, hot, relaxing shower; third: I needed time to think of the approach I was going to take. I didn't want to lie to Bella; I loved her for God's sake! You don't lie to the person you love! My father never lied to my mother and neither did she to him. I just had to embrace the fact she was probably going to yell at me and tell me to leave. She would say she never wanted to see me again, that I made her sick, that I was a terrible person… I was a monster.

Completely defeated I went to the attic and put on some clothes, I didn't really bother to pick something nice. Then I went downstairs really slowly. It was as if I was trying to turn back the time. My heart was beating so fast I couldn't hear anything else. When I reached the living room entrance I saw her and she looked at me. She was so beautiful, even with a slightly annoyed look on her perfect face. She was chewing on a… tuna sandwich and she was drinking… pineapple juice. She didn't stop doing it with my presence. She was resting comfortably on the couch, covered by that amazingly perfumed quilt. Her cheeks were a little flushed and her eyes were wide. She looked so adorable and I wanted to touch her so bad.

She motioned for me to come inside the room and while I was doing so, slowly, she finished chewing. "I made some for you." She raised the sandwich. "I hope you like tuna." _Great, this is starting just great._

"Oh, hmm… sure." _The first lie of the night_. I looked around nervously, scratching the back of my head, trying to figure out where I was going to sit down. She noticed my struggle so she said "You can sit wherever you like." and gave me a smile. I knew she was just trying to make me comfortable because I knew she was still annoyed, her face didn't lie. I really wanted to stay close to her so instead of picking the couch opposite to hers, I got down and sat on the blankets that were still on the floor next to her, Indian style. She pushed a tray that was lying on the couch near her feet until it was in front of me. "Here, help yourself." I smiled and picked the sandwich. _Ooh God it smells so bad! Come on Edward! Don't smell it, just take a bite and swallow and it will be over in a second, just one bite so she sees you appreciate the gesture. _Giving her a big smile I took a big bite, almost half of it, chewed a little and then swallowed it. Then I picked the glass of juice to help get it down. I raised what was left of the sandwich and gave her a thumb up and a smile.

"I'm glad you like it."

There was an awkward silence. But I wasn't going to speak. I was afraid of saying the wrong thing. She must have noticed it because she cleared her throat and began talking.

"So, Edward, now that you're all… set… I wanted to know if you're ready to talk. I know you don't own anything to me but it would be really nice to have some answers... After all this is my house and you have to understand it is normal to wonder who this guy that is living in your attic is… right?" She smiled again.

She wasn't right. I did owe her.

"You're wrong." I stated. She looked at me confused, but before she could reply I kept talking. "I do owe you an explanation. And I had a hard time figuring out how I was going to deal with the whole situation but I now know that I have to be honest with you, so… here you have me. Ask me anything you want and I'll answer you." My stomach was beginning to complain about the tuna.

"Oh… well then. I was thinking about some things earlier, when you were getting ready. And I believe those things bring up the questions that I would like to have answers for… for now… I just want you to know you don't have to answer them if you don't want to."

"Oh, no! I do want to answer everything!" I reassured her.

She rewarded me with a big smile. "Okay then, ready?" I nodded. "Here we go." She cleared her throat and I readjusted myself so I was comfortable on the blankets. I closed my eyes, inhaled deeply then slowly exhaled, embracing myself for what was coming. When I opened them she was looking at me with a… cocky?... smile on her lips. She was going to be the death of me.

"So… your name is Edward." I nodded and hummed my agreement. "What is the rest of your name?"

"Cullen."

"That's it? Just Cullen?"

"Yes, I'm Edward Cullen."

"Oh, okay..."

"What's yours?" It was only fair right?

She chuckled. "I'm Isabella Marie Swan, but you can call me just Bella." She smiled that pretty smile of hers.

"Oh, okay, just Bella." I was trying to ease the mood.

"Okay, ah ah, funny. Next question: you said you spent quite some time eavesdropping on me. Why did you do it?"

If I could have blushed I would. "Hmmm… I hear too well. Most of the times it wasn't intentional. I just can hear… clearly. But I confess that other times I was just really curious to know about you." I gave her a weak smile, hoping she wouldn't get offended and that she wouldn't develop the subject. She didn't.

"I see… okay. Why do you use the window from the upper floor hall to get inside and outside the house?" She pointed upstairs.

This was a longer answer. "Well, the house was allegedly empty so I couldn't risk the chance of being seen using the front door. Also the house had the door and windows blocked for a long time and I didn't want to change that in case someone noticed it while passing by…" _Shit I said too much already, shit shit shit_. "So I thought about using that specific window. It is on the side of the house so no one sees it from the road, and it also has the tree close, which helps reaching the window. It was the only option."

"But when I got here they weren't blocked. I just opened the front door with a key and I opened a window or two…"

_Shit, she noticed my slip._

"Yeah, well…" I scratched the back of my head again. "That was before your mother arrived. They were blocked before. When your mother left, things were left as you found them, but by then I had already developed the habit so…"

_Damn, this is going to raise a whole lot of other questions!_

"Right… Why did you ruin the water and electrical supplies the first night I got here?"

_This is an easy one._

"Because I was reckless. The house was supposed to be uninhabited. But of course I need water and electricity. I did the same when your mother arrived. Of course then she didn't notice anything because she didn't use them the first night. So when they arrived the next day I had already shut down the water and electricity, but you noticed because you had used them already."

"Ooooh… I see… okay, I get it."

She was going really easy on me. I was afraid she was pilling everything up inside to drop on me at the end. But I was hoping she would ask the right question so I could explain to her everything at once.

"So, from what I gathered, you were living here already when my mother bought the house. How old are you?"

_Shit. What do I tell her? I'm 129 Bella. Yep, you heard me right…_

"I'm 22."

She smiled, she seemed happy with that number. _Good._ "So... you were what?… 17 back then? Why would a 17 year old boy be living alone it the attic of an old house?"

"Because this has been my house for a long time and I don't want to leave. I feel good in here." I was trying to justify the stupidity that was my answer.

"What do you mean a long time? You're just 22. And Jacob's father told me the house was empty for years before my mother bought it."

"Yeah, apparently this house is really secluded."

She didn't buy it. It was becoming a really awkward conversation.

"Okay, next question: I found you talking to a gravestone hidden in the woods. Why? Whose grave is it?"

_Things are complicating. _Once again I closed my eyes and breathed heavily. "It's my parents' grave and I was talking to my mother."

"Your parents are buried here? How? How come no one knows about it?"

There was only one way to answer the questions and that was by telling the truth. I was looking straight into her eyes by then.

"Yes, my parents are buried here. My mother was the first to pass away and my father and I buried her there. Then after a few years my father also died and I buried him there too, next to the woman he always loved."

"Oh my God, Edward. That must have been really hard for you. I'm so sorry!" And she leaned forward, clenching her quilt in her delicate left hand and placing her right hand on my shoulder, rubbing lightly, to comfort me. I instinctively raised my hand and rested it on top of hers. She gasped and quickly removed her hand.

"You're so cold. Why are you always cold Edward?" She was looking straight into my eyes and I wasn't able to answer her. I gave her an apologetic smile, hopping she would understand I wasn't ready to answer her.

She retreated to her place on the couch and resumed the questioning.

"What were their names?"

"Esme and Carlisle."

"Hmm… those are unusual names. Beautiful though. Carlisle and Esme."

They way she said their names made my heart get tinny. Her voice was so delicate. She was such an angel, being able to stand in my presence and waste her time trying to figure me out. Would she ever?

"But you didn't tell me… how come no one knows?"

"Like I said, this is a pretty secluded place and we kept to ourselves."

"Okay… I'm going to go with that. Now, tell me, your eyes change color. The first time I saw you, upstairs, you were trying to get inside the attic, they were orange; a few hours ago they were a really dark red, now they are orange again. Why is it?"

She's really observant. I chuckled, though it wasn't the time for laughing. "Aren't you observant… Well, I have a… condition."

"Is that the same condition that makes you sleep or kind of die during the day and wake up when the sun sets?"

"Yes."

"And is that the same condition that makes you have that weird reaction to the sun?"

"Yes."

"And what might that condition be? I've never heard of such a thing."

_Shit. Here we go Edward. The time has come._

"Bella, I'm really sorry, I'm not feeling so well. I really need to go to the bathroom!"

I quickly rose from the ground and stormed towards the downstairs' bathroom, got down on my knees in front of the toilet and threw up the damn tuna sandwich and pineapple juice.

…

"Go away!"

"No! You're not feeling good Edward; I'm not going to just leave you here, sick!"

I had been heaving for a few minutes, all the time shooing Bella. I didn't want her to see me like that. But she wasn't having any of that. All the time rubbing her hand on my back and soothing me.

"It's going to be okay, don't worry. It was the sandwich wasn't it? If you didn't want it you could have simply told me."

"It's not that Bella…"

She moved a little and then I heard her shout "Oh my God! Oh my God Edward! You vomited blood! Eeewww this is so gross but at the same time so serious! Edward! We need to go to the hospital!"

She was pulling me up by that time. "Come here, splash some water on your face, and then we're leaving."

"Bella, no."

"Don't argue, Edward."

"Bella, stop."

"Edward, you're sick. Come."

She was pulling my sweater and dragging me to the front door.

"BELLA, STOP!" I had no other change but yell at her.

She stopped dead and released me. She looked at me and she seemed a little scared. Maybe I shouldn't have yelled. After a few seconds a look of understanding crossed her face.

"Is this part of your condition too?"

"Yes… And I'm fine now so… breathe, Bella."

And she did. She probably hadn't noticed she was holding her breath.

"And are you going to tell me what that condition is, Edward? Or are you going to keep letting me do all the guessing? You can tell me the truth. I won't bite, you know?"

She gave me a reassuring smile and grabbing my hand, pushed me with her to the living room again, sat me on the couch and then sat next to me.

"I can't really explain what my condition is because I've never read about it, ever heard about it or ever met anyone that shared it… except for my mother."

"And did your mother die because of that condition?"

"Not exactly, no. My mother died because of the cure."

Bella brought her hands to her mouth, a mixture of shock and pity on her expression. I didn't want pity though. I brought my hands to her mouth and took her hands off and placed them on her lap. "It was a long time ago, don't worry."

She nodded. It was now or never.

"Look, Bella. What I'm about to tell you… I never told anyone. I want you to make yourself comfortable, relax and listen. You're free to leave, tell me to leave, scream at me, whatever, but I beg you to please listen to everything, stick with me until the very end because, trust me, it is a really long story."

She was looking at me intently and she nodded while she said "Sure. Okay. I can do that. But you're freaking me out a little."

I chuckled. "I'm sure I am."

"I'm going to begin with my mother. It will make things easier." She nodded again. "My mother had this condition. My father was a doctor. After several years of searching for doctors and trying to get fixed, my mother found my father. They fell in love and got married, all the while my father trying to find an answer for her problems. I was born and when I was still a little boy my father moved us to this house because it was secluded and also because he said fresh air would do us good. He had a sort of laboratory where he made experiments, trying to find an antidote for my mother's disease. After some time I began having the same symptoms as my mother. So my father began using me as his guinea-pig, trying on me the formulas he came up with. One time he thought he had found the antidote so he gave it to my mother. It only made my mother get worse so then he began to struggle to find the anti-antidote, a formula that could put my mother back to how she was. She claimed she preferred to be like I am now than to endure the consequences of the antidote."

"My father never made it, though, and she eventually died. My father never forgave himself because after a short time he found it, the formula that can give people my condition. He never gave up on trying creating the perfect antidote though. He died of old age without accomplishing that. I was left alone. By then no one knew about us, and people were saying we had left the house to another village or something, some even said we had all died or killed ourselves. The rumor that the house was haunted began to spread I guess. So, I kept living here for a few years, continuing my father's work because I also didn't want to be like this. Unfortunately I never found the perfect antidote. I tried it on small animals, since I knew how to make the formula to infect them. One day I got tired of it and snapped, then some bad things happened and I left everything behind me."

"My life changed drastically. I left Bibury. I spent years away, until one day I got sick of running and moving, I missed Bibury, my life, this house, my attic. When I got here the house was a total wreck, it was empty and I found a piece of newspaper that stated the house had never been inhabited, everyone believed it was haunted. That was, until your mother arrived. Let me tell you, it was the worst and at the same time the funniest year of my entire existence. She was a true pain in the arse. I made everything I could to scare her away and eventually I did. Then the house remained empty and I was alone for 5 years, until you arrived. My world was completely turned upside down."

"First I was really mad at you because I was living in peace and you just had to come and ruin it like that American woman. But then you also reminded me of someone I had met a long time ago, and that scared me because I thought you were her, which was impossible. I tried to leave but you were just so… interesting! Sometimes I could just listen to you, singing, talking, talking in your sleep… That's when I began eavesdropping on you on purpose. And you got even more interesting. And then you saw me but didn't tell anyone about me. So I thought "Maybe if I'm nice to her she'll like me." So I fixed your garden. I didn't know if you liked roses but I know all women love it when men give them flowers. And here we are…"

"But this doesn't explain what my condition is, right? Right… so… I began to have a hard time enduring the daily hours. Not only the sun hurt me, but I also had a hard time staying awake. After a while I simply passed out wherever I was. The sun made me feel like I was on fire; it hurt so badly, really, really badly. There were no visible signs though. Then I began to get sick after I ate. Since my father knew what was happening he began giving me raw meat. I was so disgusted by it but I had no other choice, I needed to eat. Eventually I got sick of it and…"

It was coming… the time where she was going to leave, screaming.

"Without my father knowing I began to hunt small animals on the woods, rabbits and such, and I would drink their blood. Of course my father found out eventually because he knew my mother also drank the blood of animals. Another aspect of the condition was I never got sick or hurt. No matter how hard I fell, hit my head, scratched my hand or got wet with the rain, caught strong wind or cold temperatures, I never got a fever or slightly sick. As soon as I began getting like this my eyes changed color. They had been green but they became orange. You saw them red because I was hungry, I didn't eat for 8 days, or nights. Tonight I went hunting… that's why you saw me covered in… you know."

**Bella**

Even if I wanted to I couldn't say a single word. And even if I wanted to say something he didn't give me any chance because when he began talking he almost didn't even stop to breathe. I was listening to him but a part of me was writing mental notes and a single question was itching to come out of my lips. _He drinks blood, he sleeps during the day, he's awake at night, he's always cold, his eyes are weird…_

He stopped talking for a few seconds so I took the chance. "Edward, how old are you?"

"But, Bella, I'm not finished!"

"Answer me. How old are you?"

"22, I told you already."

"No, Edward, how long have you been 22?"

There was a long pause. _Oh god, oh god, please let it not be true, please!_

"107… I've been 22 for 107 years, Bella."

_Fuck my life._

"How?... How is that possible? Edward… are you…?"

I couldn't say the word, I just couldn't.

"My father always called me a creature of the night. But I'm not finished, please! Let me finish, because I still have to tell you something. Probably the most important part of the entire story."

I nodded.

**Edward**

"After I snapped I felt something inside me change. I had never had human contact in my entire life, besides my parents and some kids when I was young. So by that time I was 30 and I was tired of my life. I went to Bibury one night; it was too late though so there was almost no one outside. But I found a man, and I was so hungry because I had skipped dinner that… oh god, I'm so sorry!"

I was sobbing by then but that time Bella didn't reach to comfort me. She had her hands covering her mouth and her heart was pounding really fast, she was holding her breath too. _Say it, Edward!_

"I killed him. I killed an innocent man that night! And like a real monster I drank his blood!" _Now it's not the time to stop, Edward. Get it all out! Before she runs away!_

"I was so scared, I couldn't understand what I had done so I left the body there and ran to the house and only stopped until I reached the attic. The human blood completely ruined my life. The next night I woke up at a different hour because I smelled someone inside the house. It were 3 people: two women, one man. They were visiting the house; they were probably going to buy it. But I was so hungry, I was feeling this huge need of more blood… human blood, as soon as they reached the upstairs hall I killed a woman and the man. But that third woman… Bella, you are that woman! Her name was Ann and you look exactly like her! And I always loved strawberries and she smelled of strawberries, just like you! I felt something in my heart at that moment but I just couldn't risk her running away from me and telling everyone I had killed her husband and that other woman, so I looked into her eyes and told her I was sorry and then I killed her. The animal inside me kicked in then and I drank the blood of the other woman and the man but I didn't dare touch Ann."

"That night I left. I spent a year killing innocent people, random people, but every time I did so, I saw Ann, and she was crying and begging me not to do it, to stop. After a year I couldn't take it anymore. So from then on I began killing scum: murderers, thieves, crooks… I know it doesn't justify what I do and doesn't pay for the innocents I killed but I can't feed on animals anymore. It's like they are invisible to me. It's the blood. I got stronger, really strong, and I can move really fast too, I also hear everything loud and clear. Like your heart, I can hear it beating like I was resting my head on your chest. I also can smell and see better than any other human."

"Tonight when I woke up I was really hungry and it is really hard for me to stay close to you without having bad thoughts so I knew I had to feed before I saw you. I went hunting with hopes that I would get home before you did. But you know what they say "more haste, less speed" and I was so nervous I screwed everything so I was late and you found me and…"

"Now you know, Bella. Now you know who I truly am. I'm Edward Masen… and I'm the monster who lives in your attic."

**Bella**

_All this time… I had a monster in the attic._

_

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_**a/n: shit's about to hit the fan... or is it?**

**review please!**

**xoxoxox  
**


	13. 12 Now i have a name

**a/n: Hello hello people!**

**How's it going?**

**This one took a little more time to finish but hey, at least it's bigger than the previous ones! Lots of Edward and Bella. Which is good, right?**

**I really hope you enjoy it.**

**Go on, go! Read it! See you at the bottom!  
**

**(i don't own them but i wish i did! and i also love me some geek vampire ;) eheh)**

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**Edward  
**

"Who did you kill tonight, Edward?"

"Huh? Bella, I don't see how that's…"

"Edward… Who did you kill tonight?"

I didn't see that coming. I was nervous as hell after I had blurted out the whole thing. I was gripping and pushing at my hair with such force it would have been ripped off if it were possible. I couldn't, for the life of me, understand Bella's reaction. Instead of running or screaming at me or calling the police, she just stood there in the sofa, her hands grasping the quilt, her eyes wider than I had ever seen and mouth open. Was it possible that she wasn't disgusted by me or a little scared? And why would she want to know who I had killed?

"I don't know, Bella… Some punk I caught upsetting a couple. I found the whole scene by chance. I passed by this alley and I heard a woman weeping. When I looked she was on the ground covering her face and I smelled blood. The man that was with her was fighting this really bad looking guy and was losing. The punk had a knife and was cutting the man wherever he could. It pissed me off and I was really hungry so I killed two birds with one stone you know?"

I gave her a weak smile. At that moment, I wished I could read her mind.

&%&%&%&%&

**Bella**

He had saved a woman and a man from being mugged or raped or… killed. _Okay, good_. I was breathing heavily and almost counting each breath I took… _in… out… in… out_. Edward was looking straight at me, waiting for my reaction, for a word, anything. He was fidgeting a lot in the blanket and touching his hair vehemently. But I needed time to think of what to do next. He had been honest with me. I knew everything, or almost everything, there was to know about him. He didn't know me at all and yet he had come clean. And even though I knew he was a murderer and he had been the one to kill those three people, not his parents of course, I had also heard him talk to his mother and couldn't forget his words regarding me.

I had to at least say something to him… "Edward, can you give me a minute to think, please? And maybe stop pulling your hair like that? You'll get bald."

His head moved up and down quite fast, consenting on my request. He looked adorable. _No, Bella! Don't! Think of who he is and what he did!_ He must have had a hard time, all those years, being sick, alone, not being able to understand what was happening to him. Sure, he had killed innocent people, but it's not like it was his fault he was born the way he was. He was sick and he had the right to live a happy life, just like any other human being. What he didn't have the right, though, was to take justice into his own hands. It wasn't his place or any other person's for that matter. _That's what the police is for… Not that they do much…_

"Listen, Edward, I want you to know that I understand everything you told me and I'm not one to judge, so I won't do that… to your past. What I can't permit is you trying to be righteous, taking justice into your own hands, trying to justify what you do, and at the same time sharing this house with me. You don't get to take a human's life, no matter how worthless it may be."

"But, Bella, either I starve or…" He looked pained.

I raised a finger, motioning him to stop talking. "No buts, Edward. I now know your story but I also heard you talking to your mother earlier… about me." I gave him a knowing look.

He understood and lowered his head, probably embarrassed. I could feel the same way, for what I was about to do, but I had to use everything I had for my advantage. I had to be honest to myself. Even though I didn't love him, I _fancied_ him. He was a reeeaaally interesting man and really good looking.

"So… I'm going to give you my terms." He looked at me again while I embraced myself for what I was about to say.

"If you really meant what you said to your mother, regarding me, then you are going to stop feeding on human blood. If you do that, you can keep sharing my house with me. I don't want you living here with me until you change your… eating habits. If you can't do that, then I'm sorry but I want you to leave. In fact, I want you to leave as soon as we finish this conversation, and return only when you can look me straight in the face and tell me "Tonight I had rabbit."" His face fell. He was disappointed, he wanted to see me. I had to do something… _Bingo!_ "I want you to know though that, until you do, I'll give you one hour a night to see me."

I wanted to see him too. I couldn't help it. He gave me a big smile.

"During that hour we can do things together, we can ask each other questions, go somewhere. But there is one thing YOU have to do during that time. At the end of the hour you have to try and hunt an animal. If you don't succeed, you won't see me for a full hour the following day. I'll cut 10 minutes from our meetings every time you fail. Is that clear?"

He wasn't smiling so much by then.

"Yes, Bella. It's clear." And then he just stood there, looking at me, motionless.

"Okay then. So… I guess that we're good for the day. I'll take you to the door." I rose from the couch and walked by him. _Did he just sniff?_ I heard him rise from the ground and follow me. Once we were at the door, I opened it and he passed me, without really looking at me.

"Oh, Edward?" He was already a few feet away from me when I remembered something.

He immediately turned around and looked me in the eyes. "Yes, Bella?"

"Tomorrow you can meet me… outside, near your parents' grave, at 9pm. How does that work for you?" And I gave him a smile. He was a really handsome man… sort of. For a 129 year old man he was in pretty good shape. _Eeww, don't think about it that way, Bella. He's 22, he's 22._

"It works just fine, Bella. See you tomorrow night then." And he also smiled at me. Then, I felt something on my face. One second he was a few feet away, the other he was standing right in front of me, his cold hand cupping my cheek for a brief moment, his eyes amazing and warm, and then he was gone.

He was amazing.

&%&%&%&%&%&

**Edward**

_She didn't run. She didn't scream. She didn't call the police. She wants to see me. She's giving me a chance. She heard me tell my mother I love her. Oh God! She wants me to give up human blood. By the end of the week I'll have… zero minutes to be with her. I'm so screwed._

I knew what I had done was a risk. I had inhaled deeply when she passed by me on the sitting room, her amazing perfume filling me. But when the notion that I would be seeing her much less hit me, I couldn't help but touch her perfect skin. She was so much warmer than me. She didn't even flinch, she didn't mention my speed. She just smiled. She was amazing.

She didn't want me to sleep or be inside the house until I was able to feed on animals again so I was going to use my father's lab. It was the closest to her I could be without being inside the house so it was going to work just fine. I would never be able to feed from animals again, so I would happily live in the lab, knowing Bella was just a few feet away.

I still had a few hours before the sunrise but I didn't know what to do. _Maybe I could plant something more on her garden? No, I want to first find out what her favorite flower is…_ _Maybe I could go and buy nicer clothes? I'm not sure she cares about it. Maybe it would be a good idea to practice. Maybe tomorrow night I'll be able to tell her I had rabbit!_

I was feeling inspired, my hand was still a little warm from the contact with her cheek. With the strength it gave me, I took off, running like crazy into the woods, almost turning on the switch of my instincts, listening to every little sound, smelling even the faintest scent. I could feel the wind touching my hair, my face. Little drops of rain began to fall and I raised my head, looked at the top of the trees, closed my eyes and welcomed my surroundings.

Suddenly I heard something. It was a faint… beat: a heartbeat. I crouched like a dog. I was in hunting mode. I wasn't smelling anything, though. I walked slowly, close to the ground, until I found a small hole. _Rabbit, touché._ I put my hand inside and felt a furry body. It was warm and as I slowly took it out, the sound of its heartbeat grew louder. Then I was face to face with the animal. It was squirming, trying to get out of my grasp. I approached my face to it and inhaled… nothing. My mouth went to its neck… nothing. I held the animal's neck between my hands and my mouth went for it…

_What are you doing? Aren't you going to use the knife?_

_What for? I'm strong; I can rip its skin off._

But I didn't. I wasn't feeling anything, I was full and there was no need to kill the poor creature. So I slowly placed it inside its hole and left, angry at myself.

I walked by my parents' grave. "Hello you two." I wasn't in the mood to talk so I just left a flower for my mother and continued until I reached the lab. Once inside I lit a few lamps and sit on a stool. Glancing around the room I saw a few lab equipments, utensils, bottles. In a cabinet were medical and chemical books. I raised and walked towards it but instead of opening the upper doors I went for the drawers, where my father's and my journals were. I began reading them for the millionth time until I passed out on top of a counter.

…

&%&%&%&%&%&

**Bella**

The last time I saw Edward that night he was outside the house, lost in his thoughts, then he smiled a big smile and stormed out into the woods really, and I mean really, fast.

Before I went to sleep I decided to have another sandwich to calm my stomach and my nerves and then I went to bed. I was lying there, looking at the ceiling. I knew that I wasn't going to hear Edward upstairs but I knew he wasn't gone that time, I knew who he was and what he did. I knew everything about him and yet… I wanted to know more. _The guy is 129 years old for God's sake! The things he must have seen! The people he must have met! He witnessed so much, so many changes in the world._ He became just a little bit more interesting.

I couldn't take one thing off my mind. He said he had the formula to infect rabbits with his condition. So why didn't he do it to a person? It must have been pretty lonely to live by himself all those years.

_You don't know if that's true, Bella. He probably had company, even if not like him._

_Yeah, but how sad it must be, after a few years everyone he knows is dead! I'm sure that he would probably be able to find someone willing to become like him, to be his companion forever… no?_

_I don't know. Eventually it gets boring I think…_

_Maybe you're right…_

It didn't take long for the consequences of the day's events kick in and the warmth of my bed made it easy to fall asleep.

…

I woke up around 9am. When I picked my phone from the nightstand I had 3 new messages. They were all from Jacob. They were all asking me to forgive him, telling me I was right, that it wasn't his place to talk to me like he did. I didn't care. I erased the 3.

I rose, feeling light and… happy? I went for my bathroom to take a nice warm bubble bath. I turned on the hot water and... _Oh no! I told Edward he can't come inside the house! How is he going to shower now? How is he going to change clothes? Where is he sleeping? Oh my God! _

I screwed everything. I should have made sure he had a place to be, with decent conditions. _How could I have been so selfish?_

Suddenly I didn't want to take a bath anymore. I took a quick shower and got dressed. I went downstairs to have breakfast and then I went to the office to work a little. When I got inside though, and looked at the bookshelves, I realized they held a completely new and different meaning. The books I had kept from the 1820s, earlier and a little later belonged to Edward and his father Carlisle. They were mainly medical books and though they didn't have any relevance for me they were books, and since I loved them so much I had decided to keep them. _Is Edward aware I kept them? I'm sure he is. He probably wondered around the house at night while I was asleep._

I worked and paused and worked and paused throughout the day. A few times I got interrupted by my phone. It was always Jacob, either trying to call me or sending me messages. I shut him down all the time. The guy didn't know how to take a hint. Every time I stopped willingly I allowed myself to think about Edward, where he could be, what would we do later, if he would be able to hunt an animal… _Is he going to feed on a human tonight? When I meet him, will he have already eaten?_ That was a really weird thought. But that was his nature and there was nothing I could do about it. I had given him my terms. If he kept feeding on humans he would have to stay away from the house and from me… much to my dismay.

&%&%&%&%&%&

**Edward**

I woke up around 6pm with the sound of the rain hitting the top of the trees and the ground right above me. I loved that sound. And it smelled really nice too. I raised my head from the counter, yawned and stretched, and then felt something on my cheek: it was a small paper sheet that got stick. I picked it up and looked at it. It was the last thing I had read the previous night; it had some notes about the formula my father had developed that could infect bodies with my condition. I placed it again between the pages of my journal and closed it. Then I picked the rest of the journals that were on top of the counter and placed them neatly inside the drawer.

Then I just stood there, scratching the back of my head, thinking. _I still have 3 hours before I meet Bella up there. What am I going to do meanwhile?_ I wanted to take a shower but I couldn't go inside the house so I was going to have to go to the river. _Uurrgghh, cold water… _I also needed to eat. _She doesn't want me to feed on humans but I can't feed on animals either. I guess I'll just skip dinner. _At least I could be with Bella with clean conscience. Ann didn't want me to have innocent human blood; Bella didn't want me to have human blood at all. I could live with that. Before the previous night I had managed to stay 8 nights without feeding so I was going to do the same. Bella wouldn't need to know. If she didn't ask I wouldn't tell.

I needed fresh clothes though and they were inside the house, in the attic. In fact, there were a lot of things I needed and they were all up there. I had to go to the attic but I didn't want to sneak up on Bella. She would be pissed if she found out. So I thought of something. I picked up a piece of blank paper and wrote her a note. It reminded me of the time when we wrote messages to each other. So much had changed since then… Then I folded it neatly and put it inside one of my back pockets and headed to the house, running as fast as I could to avoid getting too wet. I was standing at the front door and the rain was falling pretty heavily. _She wants to meet me outside in this weather… she's going to get sick._ I saw the lights were turned off in the sitting room but I could see light coming from the office. I took the paper off my pocket and slid it under the door. Then I knocked on the door, probably with more force than needed, but I wanted to make sure she heard. I startled her because I heard her heartbeat pick up.

She was moving, crossing the sitting room, and I knocked again. "Yeah, yeah! I heard! I'm coming! Just a sec."

In that moment I ran away and hid, afraid she would get mad at me if she saw me. She never opened the door though, which meant she had seen my note. _Good, now all I have to do is wait._

&%&%&%&%&%&%&_  
_

**Bella**

I was reaching the front door to open it when I saw a piece of paper. _Jacob. I swear to God if it's him, I'm cutting his head off!_ I picked the paper and unfolded it. _It's Edwards!_ My frown immediately turned into a big smile. His handwriting was so elegant.

"Dear Isabella,

How are you? Good, I hope.

I know I agreed to stay away from you and the house but since you asked me to leave immediately last night, I didn't have the chance to pick a few things I really need from the attic. I could really use fresh clothes and I need some books… I want to know if you'll allow me to get there. I promise I'll be brief and you won't even see me. I'll use my tree like usual. But only if you say it's okay with you.

I'm really looking forward to our meeting.

PS: if you allow me to get inside the house just open the front door and say so."

Without a second thought I open the front door. _Do I need to shout or do I just have to speak? Can he really hear as well as he said he did?_

"EDWARD. IT'S OKAY. YOU CAN GET INSIDE. I'LL BE IN THE OFFICE!"

Then I closed the door and ran to the office, sitting in my chair and trying to listen to anything other than rain.

&%&%&%&%&%&

**Edward**

She was so adorable, screaming her permission without needing to. I could have heard her even if she had whispered but it was nice of her nonetheless. She had been pretty quick in her decision which I took as a good sign. Without wasting any more time thinking, I went to the side of the house, passing by the office where she was, sitting on my father's chair looking concentrated in something and went to my tree. As soon as I opened the window and got inside, the scent of strawberries assaulted my senses. It was so wonderful. I quickly ran to the attic, and closed the door behind me.

Turning on the light I scanned the room. _Will I ever have the chance to show Bella this room? If that happens, I really need to do some cleaning… _There was rubbish everywhere. Not the smelly one, put stacks of newspapers and books scattered around the floor, clothes everywhere, especially one sock in one place and its matching in another one. There were cobwebs too and a layer of dust covering the walls and the floor. My mattress looked… bad. Picking everything I needed and stuffing a big sports bag I got out of there, locking the door and leaving the usual way. When I reached the ground outside and peeked inside, Bella was still sitting on the chair, her feet swinging on top of the desk. Every time I put my eyes on her my heart went crazy.

I returned to my father's lab to put everything I had brought with me there. Then I picked a clean pair of pants, a nice sweater, a pair of matching socks, boots, an impermeable coat… and underwear(!). I also grabbed shampoo and shower gel and putting them inside the bag I headed to the river, where I was about to have the coldest bath in a long time.

&%&%&%&%&%&

**Bella**

Around 8pm I got out of the office and headed to the kitchen to have dinner. It was weird to know that those meals I had made for Edward had been wasted. He just pretended to eat them. It was also weird to think that, at that exact moment, Edward could be having dinner himself, and it definitely wasn't pasta with bacon and cheese… I was becoming really nervous to see him. Earlier, when I assumed he had had enough time to visit his attic, I had ran upstairs, to see if maybe he had left the door unlocked or if I could find any signs of his presence, but I had no such luck.

I had no clue to what we would be doing. That night we had a full hour, but the part I was really looking forward to was, without any doubt, the hunting part. I wanted to see for myself how he did it. Of course I also wanted to know him better, ask him a million questions. I just hoped he would be kind enough to answer me.

It had stopped raining thankfully but I decided to put on an impermeable coat, just in case. The weather was really unpredictable in Bibury… or in England in general. I had no plans but maybe Edward did and I wanted to be prepared. Dressing myself with warm clothes and putting on a pair of boots I walked to the bathroom, brushed my teeth, combed my hair probably 5 or 6 times, deciding whether I should leave my hair down or up, and then headed downstairs, my hair loose. It was dark outside and I didn't share Edward's super-human sight so I grabbed a flashlight from one of the kitchen drawers and went outside the house. The ground was muddy and slippery so I walked really carefully. When I reached the first trees my heart began to beat faster. I knew by then that if Edward was already waiting for me, he could probably hear it, which only made it beat faster.

I knew I had to walk a little into the woods but it was not far from where I was. I walked slowly, aiming the light straight forward, until I found the stone. It had a flower at its feet, it was a rose. Could it be from my garden? It probably was. Next to it was Edward, that time standing up, looking straight at me and smiling. It was creepy as hell. It probably had been a bad idea to meet him there, no light, no one around, what if something bad happened? He was also wearing an impermeable coat and his head was covered by its hood. That detail, mixed with his intense stare and his smile... it gave me the chills.

"Hi." It was the only work that came out of my mouth and I could tell it sounded shaky. I chuckled just to try and mask that fact.

"Hello, Bella. Good night. How are you?"

"Hmm… fine, I guess…" _No I'm not._ "Actually I'm a little nervous. It's too dark and cold out here and there's just the two of us and…"

"I understand." He chuckled. "Actually, I thought about suggesting, in the note I wrote you earlier, that we meet somewhere else. This isn't… proper."

"You're right; I don't know what I was thinking."

This was the second first meeting all over again. It was awkward, we didn't know what to say, I was nervously scratching the ground with my feet; he was scratching the back of his head with one hand, the other inside his coat's pocket, smirking at me.

"Do you… have you thought about something to do?" I asked. I really had no idea what to do. I wanted to take him inside the house but he probably hadn't fulfilled his part of our agreement so I couldn't.

"Hmm… I was thinking… I could maybe… show you something?" It was a question. He was asking my permission to take me with him somewhere. _Do I trust him? _He smiled at me. His presence and his expressions calmed me.

"Sure. We'll do whatever you want… as long as you don't forget our agreement."

"I didn't. Don't worry. Come, follow me."

"Are we going far? Because this ground is really slippery and I'm afraid to fall…"

"Oh, don't worry about that. It's not far. But if you fall, I'll catch you." And he winked.

_Swoon!_

"Okay then, lead the way."

I began walking behind him, wondering where he was taking me. But after a few steps he stopped.

"Are we there yet?" I was really confused. I didn't see anything. I looked behind me and I still could see the grave, the rest were trees and leaves and soil and darkness.

"Yes, we are. Wait here." Then he crouched and his hands went for the soil.

_Oh no! Does he have a dead animal buried in there? Is he going to give me a prize like dogs and cats do to their owners? What if he takes a hand out of there or something?_

I could hear a noise, something scratching and creaking.

_Don't be stupid Bella! He's a person! He's not going to do that!_

Either way I covered my eyes with one hand.

"What are you doing?" He was laughing.

"Don't laugh! I'm really scared! What do you have under there?"

"Bella." His tone was serious. _Shit_. "Bella, please, look at me." I couldn't take my hand off my eyes, so he did it for me. He got closer to me, his hands were reeeally cold but they were soft too and the touch sent chills through my spine, I had goose bumps all over my skin.

"Bella, there's no need for you to be scared of me or around me. I will never, and I mean, EVER, do anything to hurt you, or let anything hurt you, do you understand? I'm not that person… not anymore." He looked sad. His thumbs were tracing circles on the back of my hands; he was trying to sooth me, his dark orange eyes penetrating mine, his breath really close to my face.

"Bella, breathe." _Right, right! Breathe._

"Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Where were we?" I smiled, trying to reassure him I was okay.

He stretched his hand towards the place he had been previously and when I followed its direction I saw a hole on the ground.

"Wow! What's under there?" _Lots and lots of dead bodies._

"Come and look for yourself!" He said. He sounded excited.

"Come, come." He grabbed my hand, his was no longer super cold, it was more like my hands. Then he pushed me with him with hurry. "I'll go down first to turn on the lights and then I'll help you get down, okay?" I could tell he was nervous too.

"Okay Edward, you go ahead. I'll stay here waiting."

Then he disappeared through the hole, his big smile the last thing I saw. I approached it and peeked inside and then the lights were on but I could only see a wooden ladder and stones. I didn't like ladders very much.

"EDWARD!" His face showed up on the hole. "Yes, Bella. No need to shout, you know?" And he winked at me. _Damn him!_

"I'm not so good with ladders. Maybe I should just stay here, or we can go somewhere…"

"Nonsense, Bella! Listen, you can turn off your flashlight." I did. "Good, now put yourself on the first step, then I'm going to grab you, that way you won't have to climb down yourself, okay? Sounds good?"

"I guess. Okay, here I go."

When I felt his hands grasp my waist… I can't even begin to describe what I felt. It was uncomfortable but at the same time it was incredible. No man had touched me in a long time, especially not in my waist! "Okay Bella, you can let go now, I've got you!" And I did. And then my back was touching his chest. And then I was sliding along his chest as he put me on the ground. And then I was being pulled away and at the same time being turned to face him.

"See! It wasn't hard now was it?" He was smirking.

I cleared my throat. "No. Not at all." and looked at him for a few seconds, still feeling a little tingling on my waist and back. Then I glanced around the room. "Wow. Where are we?" It looked like a laboratory. Then it dawned on me. "Ooooh. Is this your father's lab?" He nodded. "Pretty cool! So… this is where the fun happens!"

"I wouldn't call it exactly fun but… yes, this is where things happen."

"It looks pretty awesome. You've been investing in it I can tell. Things look shiny and new." It really did. It almost looked like I was in Dexter's Laboratory. I could easily be Dee Dee, one touch and I could blow up the whole thing.

"But, Edward, how do you buy these things? You're only up at night and from what I gathered, you don't hang around humans, except to… you know. So… how?"

"Well, I'm not proud of what I do but… late at night I go inside stores and in this case, laboratories, and I take what I need. I always leave money, though! It's enough I'm… I don't want to be a thief."

"Oh… I guess… I guess it makes sense. As long as you pay for the things you take." He nodded.

Then, in my mind, I had a flash. "Jacob!"

"What about him?" He's tone was serious.

"It was you! Poor Billy was right! You took things from the store, but because you left money Jacob didn't believe his father!"

"Yeah, I bought some things at their store." He looked embarrassed.

"It's funny."

"What is?" He asked curiously.

"How things eventually connect, you know? How, in the end, there's always a reason for something to happen. There are no coincidences. Don't you believe that?"

"I guess…" He got lost in thought for a moment.

I looked around and decided to sit on a stool. I propped myself up, they were high.

"So! What did you want to show me? Just this place or anything in particular?" I was rotating the stool while I spoke.

"Well, this place… This is where I'm staying."

"Here? But this doesn't look like a good place to live."

"I don't spend that much time inside anyways. And when I'm here I always lose myself in books and such."

"You like books? Reading?" This was starting to get interesting. I rested my elbow on the counter, put my chin on the palm of my hand and looked at him.

"Yes, I do. But I tend to read books that are more… specific. Like medical and chemical books." He sat too, across from me.

"Yeah, I know."

"Oh, you do?" He sounded confused.

"Yes, there are lots of those in the office, back in the house. I kept them all, you know? They look beautiful in the bookshelves… even though I don't understand half of what they talk about." I laughed.

"Oh! Right! Yes, I know. Of course, those books. They're not useful to me anymore, that is why I left them there. They're too old and outdated. The ones I need are over there." He pointed somewhere behind me so I turned on the stool to look. It was an old cabinet. The upper doors had glass and the books were showing. "Can I?" I asked, looking at him. "Sure, help yourself!" He gestured with his hand for me to go ahead.

I got up and walked over there. Then I opened the doors and they creaked. There were some books that were really old, others were very recent.

"And you read these because…? You're not a doctor are you? You probably can cure a person, I'm sure… ooooh. Because of you condition! Right! Stupid me." I facepalmed. "Do you… are you still working on that?"

"Not really, no. I gave up trying to find the antidote, like I told you. I still have a few formulas stored here in the lab, the ones that can infect bodies with this condition. But I don't know what else I can do to find an antidote. I tried everything."

"And where are those formulas, Edward?"

"I'm sorry, Bella. I don't think it is a good idea to show you. Maybe another time?" He gave me an apologetic smile.

"Sure, sure. I'm sorry to pry."

I kept looking at everything around me, walking around the room. I could feel him following me with his eyes. "So, tell me. I've been thinking about it. You were born in what? Late 1800s? How was life back then?"

He was quiet for a few seconds; it almost looked like he was mustering up courage to talk. "I was born in 1880. Life was… okay, I guess? My father had money so I guess I was a happy child, that is, until I got like this. I never knew much besides this place, Bella. Not until I was 30."

"How was it like for you, Edward? Going through so many eras, never aging? Did you look at older men and wished you could look like them?"

"You know, the main issue with my not aging was that I had to move constantly, I couldn't stay in one place for long because people noticed I didn't change. It's very frustrating you know? But now I'm used to it. I think that… The truth is I think I'm a handsome man. Had I been ugly, this would be a totally different story, you know?" He laughed and I laughed with him.

"Ahahah I guess you're right. Imagine if you didn't have a tooth, were bald and had this huge mole on your nose or something! You are very handsome so you don't need to worry!" _Oh God, I just told him I think he's handsome._

"I think you're very beautiful too, Bella." And he gave me a warm smile. _Swoon again!_

"What was the time you had the most fun?"

"Well, like I told you, I didn't live much. I spent too much time worrying and thinking too much but I would say… the 60s were wild! But I do miss some of the old traditions… People were a lot nicer to each other, and polite, and men treated women with respect. Unlike that other guy from yesterday…."

He stopped talking and looked at me, so I decided to change the subject.

"So, what music do you like? The 60s' music?"

"Hmm… I do like it but I would say I like classical music more, it sooths me. Not that I hear that much music. So, I don't know. I guess I hear a lot of everything."

"Like me. But I also like to hear classical music. Though there are some pop songs I go crazy about!"

"I know!" He laughed. "Sometimes I could hear you singing really loud!"

"Oh God! How embarrassing!" It really was.

"Nonsense. It was funny. You made me smile. You still do." It was true. He was smiling.

This man was going to be the death of me.

But there was one thing I wanted to ask him, a serious question.

"Edward, can I ask you something?"

"Sure, go ahead." But he was apprehensive, I could tell.

"How come you never met anyone like you? And why did you never… infect anyone? You have the formula, right? Doesn't it get lonely, being alone for a hundred years?"

He pondered for a few seconds… "After a while you just get used to it. Especially with the way I live, and what I do… It was dangerous to get… close to someone, you know? I didn't want to get too attached. In case something went wrong. And I don't wish this, what I am, to ANYONE. This, what I do, it's not living, it's merely existing. I should have been dead for a long time but instead I'm still here. I can't die, never. I'm damned, Bella. And one soul is enough."

_He thinks he's damned. But how could he? Because he killed innocent people? Maybe… but it wasn't his fault, it was part of his condition. He doesn't do that anymore._

"Well, I don't agree with you but I understand your perspective."

"Why don't you agree, Bella?"

"Because… you're a good person. It's not your fault you were born this way. You made a few mistakes, sure! I made a few too. But everyone deserves a happy life and… what if you find someone you like? Someone you wish you could spend the rest of your life with? You just let the person go away? Be miserable when you could try and be happy? I think, every once in a while, everyone deserves to be a little selfish. I'm not saying you should go ahead and stick a needle in someone's arm and say "Hey! I just turned you into a vampire! Now you're mine forever!", but… you know…"

_Vampire. I called him a vampire. Oh no!_

"What did you just say?"

"Nothing… I…"

"You called me a vampire?" He was surprised.

"Eerrmm… yes?"

"Vampire… Vampire…" He was tapping his finger on his lips. "It sounds way cooler than creature of the night… a little shorter too. I like it! I had never thought about it." And he smiled. _He's smiling? I didn't screw up then?_

"Yeah, I mean… you surely have seen movies right? Or read books? You fit the profile, Edward!"

"Yes, I have. But I never really thought about it. I don't like to be this way, let alone give it a name!"

"Right, well, now you do!… Vampire Edward. So awesome!" I just stood there, lost in thought.

"This is so surreal. Calling you a vampire, thinking of whom you are and what you do."

"Does it scare you?"

"Hmm… not really, no. It did, like a few moments ago, upstairs. I thought you were going to show me a dead body or something! But… no. Not anymore. I think… I think I trust you, Edward."

"That… makes me really happy, Bella. And I would never show you a dead body! What kind of vampire do you take me for?" He put his hands on his hips. He was playing with me, and I really liked it.

"A harmless one! Look at you. All pretty, no fangs, dressed all nicely, hanging out in this cool lab! A geek vampire!" I was laughing pretty loud.

"Hey! You can't call a vampire pretty! And harmless hmm? I'll show you who's harmless!" And then he stormed towards me, at that incredible speed, picked me up and tossed me over his shoulder, than I was outside again, the cold wind hitting my face. I couldn't stop giggling and screaming for him to stop but I really didn't want him to stop because I was having fun. He was so fast! It was the most fun I had had in a really long time. He was making me feel really good.

I began feeling him slow down. At some point we were no longer running but walking. I was panting as if I had been the one doing all the exercise. "Man! This was so awesome! How did you do that Edward?" He looked slightly shy, a little smile on his lips. I took in our surroundings. The moon lit an incredible landscape. We were near a river, in a clearing with tall grass. It almost reached my knees and was waving with the wind. We were still close to the trees though; they actually formed almost a circle, surrounding us. "Well, since our time is almost over, I guess it's time for me to fulfill my part of the agreement."

"Oh, I see. Are you going to hunt now?" Suddenly the air became heavier around us.

"I'm going to try…" His smile faltered. _Oh man. Is it really that difficult for him? Did I ask him the impossible? But there was one time he did it so why wouldn't he be able to do it again? Did human blood ruin him permanently?_

"Can I watch?"

"NO!" He scared me so much I took a few steps back.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scream like that! Shit! Damn! I cursed! Okay…" He was talking to himself by then.

"Bella, you can't watch, no, sorry." He was pulling at his hair again. He always did that when he was nervous.

"Why?" It didn't hurt to ask, right?

"Because… when I'm on hunt mode, I change completely. I stop being rational, anything that moves is a potential prey. I turn into an animal. If you're near me… I don't want to hurt you Bella. That's why I brought you here… well not just because of that, also because this is a beautiful place and I wanted you to see it but… I need you to stay here while I'm gone. I won't take long, I promise. Okay? Can you do that for me?"

"Hmm, sure. You promise I'm safe here?"

"I promise. Nothing will happen to you while you're here. I'll see in a few minutes…" And then he was standing in front of me again. His piercing dark orange eyes were locked with mine, his hair waving like the grass beneath my feet, his cold hand cupping my cheek again. I immediately leaned my head, resting it in his hand, closing my eyes. His touch did the most amazing things to me. It was like a small electric shock running through me, waking up every tinny little bit of me. It made me smile.

When I opened my eyes he was gone.

&%&%&%&%&%&

**Edward**

I ran like crazy to get away from Bella as fast as I could. I had spent too much time with her. I thought an hour was nothing but it felt almost like an eternity. Being with her had never been easy but being hungry like I was…

Since she arrived at the gravestone my throat never stopped burning, not even when I was distracted talking to her or laughing. I didn't want to get away from her or show her how affected I was though so I ignored it the best way I could. I think I did a pretty good job. Running with her had been so much fun! She had been teasing me; she was so at ease that moment I wanted to try it too. And besides, touching her gave me the most amazing feeling I had ever had. I had never touched someone like that before, let alone a woman! Placing my hands at her waist made my skin almost burn. It felt so good. And then, when her back slid along my chest… I released a groan just for thinking about it. But I needed to pull away; it was too much for me. She had loved the lab, her eyes were shinning and she was so excited. It had been a great idea to show it to her. I had been a little apprehensive about it but in the end, it turned out to be a great experience, share my life with Bella. She didn't even get mad at me for taking things from that boy's store! But then she said some pretty meaning words. "_It's funny how things eventually connect, you know? How, in the end, there's always a reason for something to happen. There are no coincidences. Don't you believe that?"_ And that got me thinking. What if… what if everything had actually happened to me for a reason? What if I was the way I was just to stay alive enough to meet her? What if I had met Ann, and felt something deep for her, just because years later I was going to meet Bella? What if I was destined to know Bella and have some type of relationship with her? Just like my parents, who had met and fell in love with each other and lived happily for a long time. Even if they weren't happy at the end they were still in love. She really had a point. I did believe what she said.

Then the subject changed and Bella asked me to tell her where I kept the formulas. I didn't want her to see them. Just her asking me made me really nervous. They were a secret, and even though I trusted her I didn't want them to fall into the wrong hands. But at least she didn't get offended when I didn't tell her. And she told me she thought I was handsome! Which I assumed was a very good sign; of course I had to tell her I thought she was beautiful too. I would take any chance I would get to tell her!

And then after a lighter conversation she decided to switch back to the heavy one and asked me that heartbreaking question "_How come you never met anyone like you? And why did you never… infect anyone? You have the formula, right? Doesn't it get lonely, being alone for a hundred years?" _It hurt just to think about it. Being lonely was the hardest part of my existence but I eventually got used to it of course. But I could never do what she suggested. Was I being selfless like she implied? But I knew I was damned and I didn't want that for anyone else… not even her. I couldn't risk her soul or anyone else's. It was true though… _After a few years everyone I know dies. So why bother? Make new friends just to lose them? Fall in love just to lose the love of my life after a few years? And who would want to be with a man that never ages, while the other person gets old? Would Bella ever want that?_

One thing was certain though: I was a vampire. Now I had a name. I was apparently a geek and harmless vampire in her eyes… but at least I didn't scare her, not anymore.

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**a/n: next chapter: will Edward be able to hunt a little wabbit? stick around folks!**

**now, i need to warn you that this week some major real life events are going to happen around here, so i don't know if i'll be able to update.**

**also, next week i start working.**

**but rest assured, i'll do my best to not let you down. Hopefully, by the end of this week, i'll have another chapter for you!**

**We'll see what Edward and Bella are planning... and trust me, they have plans! ;)**

**xoxoxox**


	14. 13 selfless or selfish?

**a/n: hey guys!**

**first of all, i forgot to mention something last chapter: i want to thank EVERYONE who reviewed and added this story to their alerts and favorites. You make me sooo happy!**

**Now, i know i said i wasn't going to update soon but i had a little free time so i decided to write. I know it´s a really short chapter but it's important and i wanted it to be a sort of transition chapter and therefore it makes sense to be how it is, instead of being longer which would ruin the pace of the story and the importance of what happened.**

**I hope you enjoy it. see you at the bottom!**

**(i do not own them but i wish i had an Edward. He could toss me over his shoulder and run with me anytime!)  
**

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**Edward**

For a moment, all the disappointment I was feeling gave place to immense happiness. Bella was sitting on the ground, Indian style, at the riverside. She had her back to me and she was throwing little bits of grass she was pulling from the ground into the river. I could hear her regular heartbeat and she was breathing normally which meant she was at ease. That's what I had wanted. She had had no problem turning her back to the trees, where I had disappeared into earlier, she had trusted me.

I approached her quickly but since I didn't want to scare her I decided to stop a few feet away and make myself noticed. I cleared my throat softly but I startled her nonetheless. She jumped a little and turned. "Oh! Edward, you're here!...Already?" She got up and then brought her hands to her butt, trying to clean her pants. "Sooo…?" She sounded excited and she smiled at me. "How was it?" She had her hands behind her back and she was swinging them. She was such an adorable creature. But once I shrugged and looked at her apologetically, her smile left her face and she stopped bouncing. "Oh… That bad, huh? You didn't find anything?" She took a few steps forward, getting closer to me. My throat burned so much and my brain kept screaming at me to do something about it, I had to really concentrate to keep the voice at bay.

"Well, kind of." I was so nervous. I didn't want to lie to her, she didn't deserve it, not after all her acceptance of me. But the truth hurt so much. I was pulling at my hair by then.

"Stop doing that, Edward." And she began stretching her hand to touch me but then regretted it and took it back. "You're going to get… Oh, never mind!" And she chuckled. "So… what happened?"

"I just can't Bella. It's like… isn't there anything you just can't eat? Something that makes you think _Eeww! Gross! I'll never eat that again_?" I wanted to make a good analogy.

"Oh, yeah! Absolutely! Brussels' sprouts! They are so awful!" She made the cutest grimace.

"Okay… so that's how bad it went. And not only that but… I don't feel any pull. I can hear the animals and eventually find them but there's no scent so… there's no appeal… I guess… I guess I'll just have to try harder next time. I'm sorry." I lowered my head, looked at my feet and brought my hands to my face.

I was feeling really depressed, and not only was I starving I had to embrace the fact that the next night I was going to see Bella only for 50 minutes. _Just like I thought:_ _By the end of the week I won't be seeing her again._

I heard her get closer and then her hands where holding mine and she was taking them away from my face. Then she put her fingers on my chin and lifted my head until I was looking at her. "Don't worry, Edward. You're going to do it. We still have tomorrow… and the next day, and the next too!" She was giving me a reassuring smile. How could she be so positive about the whole thing?

"Okay Bella. I promise I'll try… for you." I really meant it and I wanted her to know that I was doing all that for her, no one else… not even for me.

"Don't do it for me, Edward. Do it for yourself." She smiled again and walked by me, then she stopped a few feet away and looking behind her shoulder she said "So, are you just going to stand there or are you going to take me home, vampire style?" and she put her hands on her hips, like I had done earlier.

I couldn't help but grin at her. "You asked for it!" I ran to her, grabbed her and tossed her behind me so she was straddling my back. I had to admit I was taking advantage of the situation to have that kind of contact with her. Then I stormed into the trees, running faster than before, so she could just see what I was capable of.

I stopped at her front door but she didn't release me. She had her head glued to my neck and her grasp on me was really strong.

"Bella?" I couldn't help but laugh.

"Mmm?" was her only answer.

"Bella, are you okay? We're here you know? You can let go now." I was still laughing.

She raised her head but her grasp remained strong.

"Oh my God. I think I'm gonna throw up! It was too much; you have to go easy on me! You'll kill me Edward!"

She slid down my back and put her feet on the ground, her legs were wobbling.

"Ahahah, Bella, Bella. Like I told you, you asked for it!"

"Ah ah. Funny! But yes, it was my fault I guess." She was looking at me intently by then. Was she trying to find something to say? I decided to wait so I just stuffed my hands in my pockets and looked at her, waiting. "So… I guess I'll be going now. Thank you so much Edward. I had fun tonight!" she was smiling and she was so beautiful. Her cheeks were still flushed from the cold wind.

"I'm glad, Bella. And I had fun too!" My hand was scratching the back of my neck. _What do I say?_ "I guess… I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Sure! Yes, of course. Do you want to say when and where this time?"

"Hmm. Okay, how about… 11pm, right here? I know it's late so if you don't want to that's fine!"

"Oh, that's okay. I can do that. So, until tomorrow!"

She didn't mention anything about the 10 minute penalty and I sure wasn't going to!

"See you, Bella! Good night… and sleep well!" I waved at her and began retreating, always facing the door.

She opened it and when she got inside she looked at me and waved too "Good night Edward!"

I had turned around by then and she was about to close the door when I remembered I still had to ask her something.

"Oh! Bella!"

She immediately opened the door, an excited expression on her beautiful face, "Yes?"

"I forgot to ask you, what's your favorite flower?"

"Lilies. Why?"

"Curiosity." I winked and smiled at her and then disappeared behind the house and into the woods.

#########

**Bella**

Every time he winked… or smiled, or smirked, or touched his hair, or talked, or breathed, I turned into a little school girl who had just met her favorite boys band. It made me feel ridiculous and ridiculously happy.

That didn't mean I was forgetting the rest. There was some important issue that was really bothering me. He hadn't managed to hunt any animal and therefore the next day I was going to give him only 50 minutes to be with me. I didn't dare mention it to him though, he was probably depressed enough and he didn't need me to remind him of that too. I wanted to be positive for him. Also, it bothered me because my goal with the agreement was to make him feed on animals again. If he didn't do it then he would have to keep feeding on humans. I knew that deep down it really affected him and I also wanted to believed he was a good person so, again, deep down, he would feel better if he stopped being a murderer.

Apart from that, I had had so much fun. The lab, all the things I found out about him, our light talk and heavy too. That beautiful clearing with the river was so soothing. And he was such a wonderful man… vampire… man. He was interesting and polite and funny and smart… And sexy and handsome! And even though he had told me it was difficult for him to be around me, he was close to me the whole time. He had also told me some serious details about him and some of his choices. I wanted to help him any way I could and I wanted him to trust me enough to tell me if he needed anything. Like I had told him, with hopes he would catch the hint, he had to be a little selfish sometimes.

But I was in such a good mood I didn't want to ruin it with too much thinking so I went to my office to read some news, watch some videos, listen to music… even though I wished I was running with Edward through the woods and hanging out with him. I just hoped he would follow through with his part of the agreement because if things kept going like they were, by the end of the week I was never going to see him again.

#########

**Edward**

It was still too early but I didn't know what else to do. I didn't want to go anywhere, afraid to slip and kill someone. I also didn't want to go run or anything that demanded exercise because I hadn't had blood, so I decided to retreat to the lab.

It still smelled of Bella. The place looked nicer just by smelling of strawberries. I knew what I was going to do the next night. That was why I had asked Bella what her favorite flower was and to meet me so late. I was going to find lilies and plant them on her garden. I needed to save all the energy I could. If things kept going like they were, in three days or less I was going to become too weak to do anything, so I needed to work on her garden as soon as possible. I wanted it to be a surprise so it couldn't be done that night because she would probably see then in the morning.

I was sitting on the stool Bella had occupied earlier, playing with the flashlight she had left there, and I began replaying the hour I had had with her. There were a lot of things dancing on my mind but there were ones that tapped louder…

"_Everyone deserves a happy life and… what if you find someone you like? Someone you wish you could spend the rest of your life with? You just let the person go away? Be miserable when you could try and be happy?"_

"_It's funny how things eventually connect, you know? How, in the end, there's always a reason for something to happen. There are no coincidences. Don't you believe that?"_

"_This, what I do, it's not living, it's merely existing. I should have been dead for a long time but instead I'm still here. I can't die, never. I'm damned, Bella. And one soul is enough."_

_There are no coincidences._

_Someone I like._

_Let the person go away._

_Be miserable when I could try and be happy._

_I can't die._

_I'm damned._

_She's not._

_I CAN die. I can try._

_I can be with her without compromising her life, her soul. And I'm doomed anyway...  
_

I stood up quickly and went for the cabinet in a hurry. Frantically I picked all the journals I had and the books and threw them on top of the counter. Grabbing a pen I began reading and turning pages and taking notes. She didn't want me to feed on humans, I didn't want to feed on humans, I couldn't feed on animals, I wanted to be with her, I wanted to go with her to places, see the sun with her, grow old with her. I wanted to live!

So I was going to study again, I was going to experiment, test, try again and again and again, everything I could because I didn't want to be colder than Bella anymore, I didn't want to be paler, younger, faster, stronger or immortal anymore. I didn't want to be Bella's monster or vampire, I wanted to be Bella's human. By the end of the week I wasn't going to be seeing her never again. I was going to spend the rest of my life with her.

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**a/n: okay! sooo... tell me guys:**

**would you rather have a vampire Edward or a human Edward? ;)**

**reviews are really appreciated! come on! click it! click!**

**=) see you soon!**

**xoxox  
**


	15. 14 too selfish perhaps

**a/n: hiiii everyone!**

**First: my thanks to everyone who reads this, reviews and adds to favorites and/or alerts. I just wish some of you would take some time to review. it makes me really happy to know you like this story but maybe you could tell me so in that special section that is right bellow the chapter ;)**

**as always, i hope you like it!**

**(i do now own them but i own a tv! ;) )**

* * *

**Bella**

I looked at my watch. _11:10, where is he? Is he not coming? Doesn't he want to see me anymore? Did I do something wrong yesterday? He seemed to have enjoyed our time together… _I was filled with nervousness and doubt. Maybe something had happened. Maybe he was late from… dinner. I was sure there was going to be a good reason for him not showing up on time.

It was really cold so I was holding my coat tightly and moving my feet side to side, all the while looking at my garden. _Maybe I should spend some time here, doing some work. It could really use a few more bushes and flowers. It looks too bare with just the rosebush and the tulips._ I began to sing to distract myself and then I picked up my phone just to occupy my mind…

"I'm so sorry, Bella!" I jumped and raised my head to find an Edward completely different from the previous night. He looked unkempt. He was wearing the same clothes and his hair, that was usually disheveled in a sexy way, looked like it had had a hard time. It was everywhere! Edward was panting and looking at me apologetically, his eyes were wide. "I'm really sorry Bella, I got distracted and when I realized what time it was I had to run here but I still managed to be late. You can take these minutes from our hour."

I didn't want to do that! It was enough I was going to take 10 minutes already! I wanted to be with him!

"Oh, that's okay Edward. Don't worry. We have 50 minutes, starting now." And I smiled at him. I guess he wasn't expecting that answer given the surprised face he made. "Oh!... Oh, okay. If you say so! So… have you thought about something you would like to do tonight?"

"I have, yes. I was thinking that… " He was going to love it! "We could stay here tonight. I mean, not here, here." I gestured for the garden and the entrance. "Inside the house. You know… talk comfortably and stay warm."

He looked surprised. "But… but what about our agreement? You said…" He was so nervous. I needed to know what happened to him.

"I know what I said but I thought about it and… it doesn't make sense. We don't have anywhere to go without you being seen unless it's outside, in the woods or some other place cold and dark, or your lab. So I figured that it's only reasonable. This doesn't mean you can stay here though, just during our time together." When I said the word "lab" he fidgeted and touched his hair. _He's so weird tonight._

"Oh! Of course! I wouldn't want it any other way! So, should we go then?"

"Sure! Come in!" I gestured for him to follow me and he did. "Do you need to ask permission to enter people's houses?"

"Huh?" He didn't get my joke immediately but after a few seconds of me laughing he said "Oh! Ahahah. I get it! No. Not at all. And even if I needed to, this house is mine so…" I interrupted him by looking at him seriously. "Oh, sorry. This house is YOURS but since I've been living here… you get the picture."

"I was just kidding Edward." I gave him a reassuring smile to make him relax. He was too tense.

He followed me into the living room. I went for the couch and he just stood in the middle of the room looking at me. "Edward, you can sit wherever you like." So he did, on the couch opposite to mine.

"Do you mind if I take my boots?" I asked him. He shook his head telling me he was okay with it. I put my feet up on the couch then.

"I would offer you something to drink but that would be kind of dumb". I chuckled.

He also chuckled. "Yeah. But thank you for being thoughtful."

"So, tell me, what did you do tonight, Edward?" I was sitting comfortably, covered in my quilt, and he was stiff as a board.

"Oh, not much. I just hanged around my lab."

"Oh yeah? What did you do there?" Was he so strange because he had been doing things to himself or something?

"Not much. Mainly cleaning and organizing things. I just got carried away." Somehow I didn't believe him. I knew though that he didn't like talking much about his experiments so I changed the subject.

"It must have been pretty exciting then! Okay, now. I want to know if I can ask you questions."

"Sure, sure. Go ahead!" And he smiled at me, but it wasn't like the ones of previous nights.

"Okay, let me see! Hmmm… What's the favorite place you have ever been?"

"That's easy! London of course!" His smile grew a little.

"Really? And why is that?" I was getting excited. Talking to him always left me like that.

"Well, because it's a big city and I went there regularly. I followed its evolution. It was really interesting to witness how people changed, how the buildings changed and the cars and other means of transportation, the amazing technologies, and the different people that live there, different cultures. And at night, unlike most other places I've been to, the city is alive! It has its pros and cons of course but I didn't feel so lonely, you know? Listening to the sounds of the city, watching movement on the streets. It didn't seem like I was completely alone in the world."

I could totally understand what he meant. "I see. Well, I like London too… even though it kills me to have to cross the streets! The first time I went there I almost got run over by a car! It was so scary and at the same time so funny! I think English people can easily tell who's foreign. They just have to look for someone looking at the ground, at those painted marks: "look right", "look left". I can't walk there; imagine if I had to drive!" I was laughing and he was laughing while I was telling my story.

"You used to drive back in America?" _Good, he's engaging on the conversation._

"I did, yes. All the time! I went everywhere in it. It is one thing I really miss, driving my old truck. It was so cool… though I think I was the only one who thought that. But it was a gift. Never look a gift horse in the mouth, right?"

"Yes… how gave it to you?"

Thinking about my father always made me blue. "My father did. It was my 16th birthday gift. I never liked gifts very much but that one was great."

"Thoughtful. Where's your father now? Phil, right?"

"Oh, no! Phil was not my father." _Eeewww._ "My father's name's Charlie. He… he died last year."

"Oh, I'm sorry for your loss, I didn't know." He made an adorable face.

"That's okay. He died happy, too young but happy. He was fishing and a hunter shot him by accident."

"Oh. That's… interesting. And your mother, Renee?"

"She died too, and Phil, her second husband. They died in a car accident. I wasn't close to my mother. Imagine my shock when I found out I had this house. But since I was the only descendant… But now I think I understand what happened. She probably tried to sell it but of course, who would want a haunted house, right?" I laughed.

"Of course. You would have to be crazy!" He smiled again.

He was always pensive when I was talking but apparently he was listening because he always answered me, and he also made questions. I guess he was interested in me after all; he just probably had other things in his mind.

"So… you don't have any family left?"

"No, I don't. It's weird right? I'm 25 and I don't have anyone left."

"Not really, no. I was 25 when my father died so… we're actually kind of in the same situation."

"You're right! Hmm… interesting!" It really was.

"And what did you used to do, back in America? Did you study?"

"I studied, yes. Major in English! But I never did anything with it. I needed money and I didn't want to leave my father so I worked in this horrible diner. I don't even want to think about it." I shuddered.

"And what do you do here? You have money, right? If you need, I can give you money! You just have to ask! I don't give it a lot of use anyway. It's just sitting there." He was pulling at his hair.

"You have money? How? You don't work!"

"Well, it's 100 years or so of accumulating money I don't really spend so… And I don't rob banks so don't worry!" He had his arms stretched forward and his hands raised, making a reassuring gesture. I wasn't going to pry, but he probably took money from the punks he killed.

"I see. Okay. But no, I don't need money, thanks. I made some by selling the houses I had in America, also I still had some money saved, and plus I'm working, so… I work for an editing company. Not exactly what I had dreamed of but…"

"What did you want to do?"

"I wanted to write a book and be famous, but I guess it was really more of a dream than anything else. To be famous you need to write and I never had any idea or a real urge to do it so… I think I'm okay with what I do. It allows me to be home and work when I want to. I was never a social person and I like staying home, quiet and peaceful." I was trying to show Edward I was a little like him. I wanted him to know it didn't bother me to hang out with him just because he had to stay away from people.

"I understand… as long as you're happy, right?" Again, he was thoughtful.

I was really having a good time. He also knew about me which made us even. Even though I didn't have any super secret condition or abilities, which was too bad.

"Bella, I think that I should be going. Our time is almost gone and I still have to… you know, hunt. So…" He raised from the couch immediately and I followed his action.

"Sure! I was so distracted I didn't notice… My! Time flies when you're having fun, right?" I was giving him a big smile but he wasn't reciprocating. _It's the hunt. He's worried he's going to fail again. Maybe that's what had him nervous and weird the whole time._

"Right." He cleared his throat. "Right. It was really fun." Weak smile. It was making me hurt inside.

We were outside the front door when he turned to me. "You stay here?"

"Sure. Yes. You go and do what you need to do and I'll stay here waiting, okay? Take your time!"

"Okay, Bella." He finally got closer to me and briefly touched my cheek with his hand. He was looking at me with his strange eyes and his hands were colder than usual.

Then he turned around and walked to the trees, disappearing into the darkness.

#########################################

**Edward**

I was going to wait 5 minutes just to pretend I had tried to hunt. Then I was going to get back, tell Bella I had failed again, cutting 10 minutes of the next meeting, which would only leave us 40 minutes, giving me more time to work on my formulas. I had the perfect plan.

I had stayed inside my lab, working intensively until I realized it were 11:10pm already. I had completely forgotten I wanted to plant lilies in Bella's garden. I hadn't remembered to shower or change. I didn't have time though, I had to leave immediately. I needed to spare energy but I also didn't want to get later than I already was. So I ran. When I reached the house Bella was outside, playing with her phone. She was moving from side to side, probably trying to stay warm. As soon as I crossed the little gate her scent penetrated my nostrils and got into my brain. The monster inside me roared. I needed to steady myself, concentrate, and focus on my human side, on Bella's adorable face, amazing personality, funny side, tolerant side… When I reached her I was breathing like I had just finished a marathon.

I apologized to her for being late but, of course, I scared her, and she jumped like the previous night. She looked incredible though a little tired. She smelled wonderfully as usual and she was smiling. I also told her she could discount the minutes I had been late to the meeting, with hopes of having more time to work. It was for the greater good. I would spend less time with her that week so I could spend the rest of my life with her. She didn't have any of that though, so I was going to have 50 minutes.

When she told me she wanted to be with me inside the house I panicked. Being outside with her was hard enough, even with the fresh air and wind blowing I could smell her and it was too much. Being in a closed space would be hell, but I couldn't say no. It was enough I was cutting time on purpose; I didn't want her to think I was pushing away. When she mentioned the lab it made me twitch. I wanted to get back so bad. I had had this really good idea I wanted to try.

She asked me a question but I was so absorbed in thoughts of chemical formulas I didn't quite register her words. It was something about having to ask permission to get inside people's houses… _ask permission to get ins… ooooooh! Vampire movies, mythology!_ She was funny, I had to give it to her. She was taking this vampire thing like a sport! Of course I had to speak and screw things up by saying the house was mine. _Way to go, Edward!_

We were on the sitting room and Bella headed to the sofa. I didn't know where to go. I didn't want to stay close to her but I didn't want to hurt her feelings. _She'll think I think she smells bad!_ She smelled too good, that was her problem. I decided to sit on the sofa opposite to hers. It was the farthest and closest I could be from her. She made herself comfortable on the sofa, and threw her quilt over her legs. The gesture made the scent of strawberries fly around the room. I groaned inside and swallowed some saliva.

I had to lie to her when she asked me what I had been doing, once again for the greater good. But once the subject became lighter and I got the chance to ask her things about her, it got interesting and distracted me a little from the hunger and the thoughts of chemistry and medicine. I even managed to laugh with her, even though it was hard because when she laughed she tossed her hair over her shoulder and the gesture sent waves of perfume towards me.

I couldn't forget the mistake I made when I told her I had money. She wasn't stupid so she probably realized I got it from my victims. Maybe she didn't accept it because she knew where it came from.

Time had gone by quickly, which I was thankful for and sad at the same time, and it was time for me to leave. She didn't sound too thrilled but I had to fulfill my part of the agreement, right? So I told her to wait for me outside the door. Bella looked so beautiful, so perfect, standing there, looking at me, her face showing happiness, my heart began beating faster and I couldn't stop myself from lightly and briefly touching her. Then I left, no longer as excited as I had been to put my plan into action.

#########################################

**Bella**

After no more than 5 minutes I was spotting a defeated Edward coming out from the woods. _He failed again. Great._ I met him halfway and grabbed his hand. I wanted to comfort him. He gave me an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry, Bella. I failed you." He lowered his head. "Don't be silly, Edward. You didn't fail on anyone. It just takes time, I guess. It's been years. Don't worry."

I smiled at him and traced circles on the back of his hand. He began releasing me, slowly. "Our time is over Bella, I should be going. Do you want me to take you to the door?"

"No, that's fine, Edward. You go then. I'm going to sleep, I'm really tired. You still have a few hours though, what are you going to do?" Was he going to spend the rest of the night inside that lab?

"I'm not sure yet, Bella. Maybe read or listen to some music."

"Oh, that sounds nice. About tomorrow… what do you want to do? We could perhaps watch tv or talk some more? Earlier, let's say… 9pm again?"

"Okay, whatever you want. I'll be here!"

"Okay. Have a nice night then! And I guess it's good morning to you instead of good night when you go to sleep so… good morning Edward!"

He chuckled. "Good night, Bella. Sweet dreams."

I took a few steps back always facing him, smiling, until I turned and walked the rest of the way home. I could feel his eyes following me.

When I got home I realized I didn't own a tv.

#########################################

**Edward**

When she closed the door I ran to my lab but somewhere on the way I began losing strength so I had to walk. The lack of food was starting to get a hold on me.

I had told Bella I was going to read or listen to some music, but I didn't intend to do those things. Instead of just sitting for 5 minutes like I had planned, pretending to hunt, I did hunt. I caught two rabbits that I took to the lab before heading back to the house. I put them in a cage where I had used to put the healthy animals. That whole exercise took more strength than I had thought it would.

For the remainder of the night I worked hard, trying to create the formula I had thought about earlier. Then, when it was almost dawn, I picked one of the rabbits from the cage labeled "healthy", held it from its scrag while it squirmed, stuck a needle in its neck and put it in the cage labeled "infected".

I felt asleep on the improvised bed of blankets I had made, looking at the poor creature.

…

I woke up feeling terribly. I was really stiff, my throat hurt, it hurt when I moved and my head was throbbing really badly. I rose from the ground carefully and steadied myself on the counter. It was late. 7:50pm. I knew I had something important to do but I couldn't really remember. _I did something last night, something important, what was it?_ I was rubbing my temples, trying to ease to pain, when I saw from the corner of my eye something move. _The rabbits_! I immediately turned my head to the cages but there was movement in only one of them. _It died. It didn't work._ How much more disappointment could I endure? After standing in the middle of the lab for a few minutes, trying to get my brain to work I remembered what I had to do. I still had one hour before I had to leave for Bella's. I changed clothes and returned to my papers.

#########################################

**Bella**

The night was calm and, like the previous one, weird. We had only 40 minutes, but given the fact Edward arrived 15 minutes later, and insisted I should penalize him for it, we were left with 25 minutes. During those 25 minutes he sat again far from me and was even more distant than the previous night. We talked a little more about my life in America and a few interests and then it was time for him to leave. When he got up though, he wobbled a little and fell back on the couch. I ran to him, trying to help. "Edward, are you alright? What happened?"

"I'm just a little tired, Bella, that's all. I just need to go rest." He had huge dark circles under his eyes and looked even paler that usual. His hands were rubbing his temples.

"Edward, I need to ask you, have you been testing on yourself?"

"No! No, where did you get that idea from? No way, I wouldn't risk killing myself! I'm not that crazy!" He sounded desperate and his eyes were wide.

"Okay, I was just asking. Are you sick then? You said you couldn't get sick."

"I'm just tired Bella. Let's go outside. I need to try to hunt, remember?"

"Sure, sure." I held him, helping him get up. He was heavy.

He went into the woods and just like the previous nights he returned without good news. We agreed to meet the next day, same time and same place and then he left.

...

He never showed up.

* * *

**a/n: oh no! what happened to him? is he gone for good?**

**dun dun dun dun!**

**:P love you all!**

**i heard that if you click review and leave a message you're going to be happier for... the entire time you're writing the review. true fact!**


	16. 15 confusion

**a/n: helloooo!**

**Sooo, how's everyone doing? How was the weekend? And what about yesterday? It was Monday so it probably sucked for everyone but not for me! It was my first day of work and it rocked. But i bet that by the end of the week i'll be wishing i could just hurt one of my pinkie toes so i can just stay in bed for a whole week =P it will probably happen... not the stay in bed part, though.**

**Anywaaaaaaaay... Thank you so much to everyone who added this story to favorites/alerts and reviewed the last chapter! Though you (yes, i'm pointing at you right now!) could have clicked the "review" button, right? Right? Don't make me come there! So you better go and read this one and hit that button, or things are gonna get very ugly! (see what i just did there? hmm? eheh) ;)**

**(I do not own them but I do own some cool socks :) )**

* * *

**Edward**

"_I can't!" I screamed and cried._

"_Please, Edward! You have to." She was on her knees at my feet. She was pleading me, her voice filled with pain. Her eyes were shining and she was trembling._

"_But I don't want to hurt you!" I insisted. I was squeezing my eyes with my hands. I couldn't look at her. She was telling me to do something but she had to see it wasn't right. And I was so hungry!_

"_You won't. It's okay." How could she say that? I couldn't do it, I just couldn't! But I was so hungry!_

"_Bella… I promised." I was asking for mercy, even though I couldn't take the burn in my throat, but she didn't have any of that._

"_I know you did. And you're too weak so you have to." Even though she was anxious she had such a beautiful voice, like an angel, soothing._

"_But you're going to get mad at me." Of course she was! How could she not?_

"_No, I'm not. I swear. I understand that it's essential and you really need it, Edward." I was becoming so torn. I didn't know what was right or wrong anymore._

"_Bella, please. Don't make me do this. I don't want to." I didn't but she was tempting me and I could only take so much. Her scent wasn't helping._

"_Why, Edward? It's what you need. It's what you want… isn't it?" She was starting to question me... Her lovely face, her perfect lips, her deep eyes looking at me… No! Yes! I don't know!_

"_It is, Bella. You have no idea how much I want it! But how can you ask me that? You know it's dangerous." Was I really going to cave?_

_She was getting closer to my face._

"_I trust you, Edward. I know I wasn't supposed to, you warned me. But you won't be able to do it yourself. Please, let me help you! Don't do this. Don't build any walls around you."_

_She was next to my head by then._

"_Let me in.", she whispered._

_Her eyes were so sincere. She really wanted me to do it. She wasn't afraid, she wanted to help me, she was asking me, no, begging me to let her in, so I did. Sobbing and crying I began to lift myself, never opening my eyes. I propped myself up on my elbows and inhaled deeply. It was marvelous, simply mouth-watering. Her heart was beating like she had just finished a marathon and she was taking deep breaths. I could only imagine the blood running through her veins, reaching that precious spot on her neck. She had a delightful, pale, soft neck._

_My brain began to cloud. "Are you sure, Bella? Please, tell me to stop."_

"_Of course I'm sure Edward, but please, hurry. I can't hold it any longer!" She sounded desperate. Maybe I can do this, maybe I won't kill her. Maybe I'll be able to have just enough to get me moving. I just have to bite her skin enough to draw a little drop or two._

_That thought made the monster inside me roar. I was listening to nothing but my own heart beating, but I still managed to say those words I had vowed to never say again, while tears streamed down my face "I'm so sorry! Forgive me!" and lunged at her._

_=########################=  
_

**Bella**

Edward never showed up. I was positively sure he hadn't because he was sick. He had told me he hadn't been testing on himself but something was up, the evidences were clear. He hadn't been himself. He had been weak, strange, distant, agitated. What if he hadn't been feeding properly? What if he hadn't been feeding at all? I had told him I didn't want him around until he stopped killing people. What if he stopped but since he didn't hunt animals, wasn't having any blood? I couldn't believe he would do that, for me or for him. What did he expect would happen? I should have known. His eyes were different, darker. He had told me that's how they got when he was hungry. It fit. And he was paler and colder. But he had also told me it had been 8 days. But the previous night, he had been too weak to even get up from the couch. _Maybe he has been spending too much energy, but on what?_ He said he spent his time on the lab. Unless he was running in circles around the counter, I couldn't see any other way.

The wheels in my brain were spinning and spinning, trying to think of something I could do to help, because I was positive he was lying somewhere, unprotected. And even if he was in the lab, he could be hurt or something worse. It was too late though, I wasn't going to venture myself outside, especially since I had left my flashlight in Edward's lab. I was going to leave it for the next day. I was going to go to the lab early in the morning and see if he was there. If he was, then I was going to think of some way to get him to feed. I just knew he needed help, he needed to talk to me, see that I accepted who he was because, at the moment, he was my only friend and I missed him, the Edward who took care of my garden, who left me notes, who gave me a tulip, who smiled and laughed and ran like a cheetah.

…

The morning came. I knew it because I could feel the warm and the light from the sun coming in through the window. I always made sure I closed the blinds. Not last night.

I always thought I would wake up feeling light, relieved, like I had accomplished something, made some good decisions. But it wasn't like that. It wasn't there. No. What I felt was completely different. I felt fear. Fear for what could come. Like what had happened didn't mean a thing. Of course it didn't. How could I possibly enjoy what had been when what would come would be like hell? I wasn't prepared for that.

I just couldn't open my eyes. And though I was aware I would have to see him soon, I let myself enjoy the morning for a few more minutes. It could be the last I would ever have.

…

I rubbed my face a little too harshly, got up and quickly put some clothes on. I was feeling really nervous but I needed something to eat, so I could calm my stomach. I also had a feeling I was going to need my strength. After eating some cereal I put on a pair of boots because, even though it was sunny outside, it had rained during the night, and got outside. As soon as the sun hit my face, all the thoughts that assaulted me when I woke up came to my mind again.

I had been thinking about death. I could die… and I could never see the sun again. I had been warned by Edward about his nature, of what he was and what he turned into, once certain instincts kicked in. I was aware of the danger I was putting myself into by trying to find him. If he was indeed hungry, starving even, he could feel my presence and attack. Certainly I was more appealing than a rabbit; even I could understand that, at some level. But I needed to take the risk if I wanted to help him. I also had to think about the possibility that he could have simply left, but I couldn't believe that was true, not when he had spoken the words he had, not when we had done the things we had, not after everything he had shared with me.

With that conviction I strolled past his parents' grave, noticing the wilted rose that lay at its feet. _If he was okay, he would leave a new flower here, I'm sure. _Just one more sign. When I reached the area I knew hid the entrance of the lab, I began taping my feet until I heard the difference in the sound. Kneeling and thrusting my hands into the ground, I began searching for a handle, all the while remembering when Edward had brought me there and I thought he was going to show me a corpse. I chuckled at the stupidity of the situation and what had happened when I had told him that. It had been such a perfect night.

I finally found the handle and with all the strength I had, I pushed it, opening the wooden hatch. _Thank god I ate breakfast!_ After cleaning my hands the best I could in my pants, I peeked inside and saw that the lights were on. Carefully placing my right foot on the first step of the ladder, I began climbing down, all the while hearing a strange low noise of something scratching. When I reached the floor I turned around and my breath caught in my throat. In the middle of the room, lying on the ground near the counter was Edward. He had his body twisted; from the waist down he was turned to one side, his torso to the other, and his head facing the ceiling. He didn't look like himself. He had huge dark circles under his eyes and his lips were really dry. His hair didn't look shinny and healthy, it looked fragile and dull. He had fallen there. He either passed out, forgetting that he was supposed to lie down before the sunrise, or passed out due to lack of sustenance. I was inclined to believe the later, given his looks.

I was afraid of getting closer though I knew he couldn't move, even if he wanted to. If he was really hungry he could probably find it in him to attack me. So I stood by the ladder and took in my surroundings. There were a lot of bottles, test tubes and other lab equipments all over the counter, along with the books that were once in the cabinet and what looked like journals. They had handwritten words. My flashlight was there too, on a corner far from the mess. There was broken glass near Edward's body. It smelled a little, like something was rotten. I immediately found the source of the smell: a dead rabbit inside a cage. And I also found the source of the low scratching sound: a living rabbit inside another cage. _Poor thing! How long has it been in there?_ I slowly walked towards the cages, clipping my nose with my fingers, always looking at Edward, but he didn't even flinch, he was dead to the world. _Oh no! What if he IS dead?_ He couldn't be. But there was no way to prove it, not until sunset, when he would be able to move.

The poor dead animal looked like it was sleeping, but the smell was proof enough he wasn't. I noticed a label placed in its cage. "Infected". _He infected the rabbit!_ _He has been testing, just not on himself. _Suddenly, everything made sense and even though I hadn't been 100% right, I could see why he had been acting weird. He had been creating formulas, studying again, experimenting. He didn't want to be him anymore. _Why was he doing this? For him? For me?_

It didn't make sense. I thought I had made it clear I was okay with what he was, so it could only mean he was doing it for himself. I understood him, at some level, but wasn't it great to be able to do everything he did? And know everything he knew? And… and live forever?

_Of course not, Bella! What would you do? After 100 years of looking the same and not being able to see the sun or have friends or fall in love or being, I don't know… NORMAL?_

_I could live with the part of not being able to have friends or fall in love… Look at me._

_Oh really? Is that so? What about Edward? Now you have a friend… and you have certain feelings…_

_No I don't! Shut up!... But I do have a friend now, and I don't want to lose him. That is why I'm doing this._

I looked inside the living rabbit's cage and saw that he had no food and the little improvised bowl had really dirty water. I needed to find it some food, the poor creature needed to eat certainly.

_Food… needs to eat… rabbit… Edward… Of course!_

I had an "Eureka!" moment right there. I was going to find a way to make Edward feed on the rabbit. It was easier than me going outside trying to hunt one. If he was hungry he would take anything he could, right? Even if I had to shove it inside his mouth. I wasn't sure how he did it, if it was like in the movies, though I never saw fangs, or if he used a knife, but he was going to drink the rabbit's blood. He was going to start feeding on animals whether he wanted to or not.

With that thought I returned to the house where I got fresh lettuce, a carrot and a bottle of water and ran to the lab again. I carefully climbed down, afraid to wake Edward up, but apparently I had no effect over him, which I was glad for. I opened the little gate of the cage, took the bowl out and dropped the dirty water inside an empty glass bottle that was on the counter. Then I filled the bowl with fresh water and put the lettuce inside the cage. The rabbit immediately went for it, chewing like crazy. I broke the carrot into small pieces and placed them inside, near its nose, so it could find them easily. He needed to be fed so his blood could be of use later. I was really sorry for the poor creature but it's not like I didn't eat rabbit too. I enjoyed it actually. I just preferred its meat… cooked.

After Edward's dinner was taken care of, I looked at him. I needed to place him in a more natural position. I didn't know if he could wake up sore but if he did, it would definitely happen that night. There were some blankets placed on the floor in the corner. _He's been sleeping there? Poor guy… and it's my entire fault._ Yes, I was feeling really guilty. It didn't matter how many people he had killed, he deserved a little better. I twisted his legs and his torso so they were aligned with his head, then I grabbed him by his ankles, noticing he wasn't wearing shoes, just socks with cartoons in them, roadrunner and coyote, and dragged him over the blankets. I dropped him and lifted and pushed and lifted, until he was almost decently placed on top of them. The socks made me laugh, they were so out of character and at the same time so suitable. He was probably as fast as roadrunner.

Satisfied with how things were working so far, I decided I needed to clean the place a little. I wasn't going to touch the counter, I didn't dare to. But I was going to at least clean the floor from the broken glass and empty the "infected" cage. I looked around for a broom or something I could use to pick the pieces but I saw none. Placing a finger on my lips, I thought of an alternative, which I found when I looked at the counter and saw balls of wrinkled paper. I picked three and unfolded them. They had formulas and words written but I couldn't understand what they said, he had been in a rush when he wrote them. I folded them again, that time forming a sort of bowl, where I could place the pieces of glass safely. I got down and began picking the bigger ones very carefully, since I didn't have any particular desire to cut myself, with one hand, and putting them inside the papers, on the other. Things worked smoothly, I managed to only cut myself three times. _That's how Bella works!_ Every time I did it I always made sure to immediately put the cut skin inside my mouth and suck the little drops of blood until it was dry because I was afraid Edward would smell it, but he never did. I was beginning to think things were worse than I had thought. Once the floor was clean I covered the glass with more paper sheets and placed them on top of the counter, to take them with me when I left.

Next was the cage. I needed to think of what to do with the rabbit because I wasn't sure if it was safe to just drop him outside in the woods. Its body had been infected and if another animal found it, could get infected too, or a person. I didn't want to cause any sort of epidemic situation in Bibury. In the mythology it was common to burn the bodies of vampires, guaranteeing they were really dead, but the rabbit seemed dead enough to me. But that was also how bodies were destroyed, in case of serious diseases. I picked the cage almost with the tips of my fingers and with only one hand, climbed the ladder and placed it on the soil. Since I needed to go to the house to grab some matches I went inside the lab again to pick the glass pieces.

I watched as the flames engulfed the furry body. For a few minutes I was in trance. It was amazing how something so dangerous was also so fascinating. After there were only ashes left, I picked the cage and took it back to the lab, placing it where it had been, next to the rabbit who was twitching its nose in a cute way. Everything looked decent enough, apart from the counter and Edward. There was nothing left for me to do so I grabbed my flashlight and decided to head home, treat the cuts on my hands that were stinging a little and wait for the evening to come. They were going to be the longest 10 hours of my life.

…

Before the sun was really gone I got out of the house, flashlight in one pocket, just in case I would need it, thick gloves in the other, and headed to the lab. I wanted to be there before Edward would wake up…

_If he wakes up at all!_

_Don't think like that! He'll be okay. Every thing's going to work just fine._

Like in the morning, I opened the hatch and got down, finding Edward just like I had left him. _Good._ I picked the gloves from my pocket and put them on. I didn't want to hold the rabbit with my bare hands. If it bit me the teeth would probably reach my skin but it gave me a sense of protection nonetheless. The animal had eaten almost everything and the water was almost gone too, which meant he was well fed, another good sign. I opened the cage and put my hand inside. The poor thing began jumping and squirming but eventually I caught it by the nape of its neck and pulled it out. With the other hand I steadied it in my lap, petting it. I didn't know if a wild animal liked it but it was worth the try. It was working. I approached Edward and knelt, away from his face, closer to his feet. It would be safer, just in case he would wake up startled. Then, always petting the animal, I waited.

It didn't take long for him to start moving. At first I noticed his fingers and his toes, then his hands and his feet. I had never seen him wake up before, it was amazing! And he wasn't dead! My heart was pounding in my ears. I couldn't help but feel nervous.

"Edward?" I called him, keeping my voice low so I didn't startle him.

"Bella…" He answered. His voice was raspy, like he hadn't talked in a long time. He didn't open his eyes though or moved.

"Yes, it's me. I'm here."

"You're here… but why?" He sounded puzzled.

"Because you never showed up and I got worried."

"I'm sorry. I couldn't." He sounded sad.

"I don't understand, Edward. What happened?"

"I… I don't know. I fell asleep?" He was lying and he was still not looking at me.

"When was the last time you fed?"

"I can't remember." He sounded honest. Did the lack of blood affect his brain?

"Why can't I move properly?" He couldn't move properly. He was too weak.

"Because you're too weak, you need to feed."

"But I can't move!"

"I know. That's why I'm here."

"What? No, Bella. Go away." His tone was serious and loud. It made me feel apprehensive and sad. Also, he startled the rabbit that began to squirm in my hands with some intensity.

"Why? I'm here to help. You need to feed and I'm going to help you." He was still not looking at me. Maybe he couldn't open his eyes either.

"I don't want to! It will hurt!" He screamed. The rabbit grew more agitated.

"But, Edward! How will you move then? Don't you see it? If you don't have blood you're going to stay like this... forever." Why wasn't he understanding?

"I can't!" he screamed and sobbed.

"Please, Edward! You have to." I was pleading him, my voice filled with pain. He had to give in.

"But I don't want to hurt you!" he insisted. Hurt me? Because I was going to be near him while he fed? He brought his hands to his eyes and squeezed them tight.

"You won't. It's okay." I trusted him and I would run and hide until he was done if I had to. A rabbit wouldn't take long, would it?

"Bella… I promised." Now he was the one with a pleading voice. He did promise! That he would try to feed on animals. But since he couldn't, I was going to help him.

"I know you did. And you're too weak so you have to." Even though I was anxious I was trying to sooth him, speaking softly and low. Unlike the hard grasp I had on the rabbit that was getting difficult to control.

"But you're going to get mad at me." No, I wasn't! How could I?

"No, I'm not. I swear. I understand that it's essential and you really need it, Edward." I was becoming confused. He wasn't making any sense. Why would I get mad at him for killing a rabbit? Wasn't that what he wanted too? And why wasn't he looking at me? He could move, he had moved his hands to his eyes.

"Bella, please. Don't make me do this. I don't want to." I couldn't understand what was wrong with him.

"Why, Edward? It's what you need. It's what you want… isn't it?" I was starting to question him...

"It is, Bella. You have no idea how much I want it! But how can you ask me that? You know it's dangerous." If it was what he wanted then what was he afraid of? I decided to approach his face, always with the rabbit close to my chest, so it wouldn't escape. I needed to tell him how I felt. He needed to understand.

"I trust you, Edward. I know I wasn't supposed to, you warned me. But you won't be able to do it yourself. Please, let me help you! Don't do this. Don't build any walls around you."

I was next to his head by then.

"Let me in.", I whispered. I really meant it.

He was silent for a few seconds. When he spoke again, the rabbit grew even more nervous which made me nervous because if it ran away I would be the one standing there, not the animal, which wasn't a good thing. I was anxiously waiting for him do decide what to do. My heart was racing and so was my breathing.

"Are you sure, Bella? Please, tell me to stop." He was pleading, though there was no reason to. And he was still not looking at me. How was he going to see the rabbit? Did he know it was there just by hearing and smelling?

"Of course I'm sure Edward, but please, hurry. I can't hold it any longer!" I knew I sounded desperate, but the rabbit was almost releasing itself from my grasp.

The silence of him thinking was interrupted by a loud roar, coming from his throat, and then he spoke. "I'm so sorry! Forgive me!" and with his eyes still closed he lunged at me.

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**a/n: did you like it?**

**I must warn you, i wanted to give this to you as fast as possible. I'm going to re-read it to correct possible errors.**

**Now, what do you think is going to happen? Did you all catch the hint i gave you? hmm? I'm sure you're all strong, independent women... aaaaah i kid kid. no, but seriously, if you didn't (women and men, if you're there), that's okay, everything will be revealed soon. if you did, do tell!**

***chants*REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!**


	17. 16 bubble:inside vs outside

**a/n: Hello everyone.**

**First i want to thank iambananas for reviewing the last chapter. I guess no one else liked the chanting of "review" i did. i already knew i'm not a good singer, i just didn't know i sucked that bad. so, yeah... thanks! =) And since you asked for an update soon... here it is!**

**i hope this lives up to your expectations, dear readers. i was really afraid to write this one, but, since you guys gave me almost zero feedback, i don't know what i'm dealing ****with ****here.  
**

**Anyway, hope you enjoy it. I want you to know i've already written the end of "monster in the attic". There are still a few more little chapters before that, though.**

**I hope you're still with me.**

**Now, go on, read it.**

**(I do not own them but you know what i own? a burned tongue from the coffee i just drank. it hurts like a bitch... even though i don't exactly ****know ****what that expression means =P)**

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**Bella**

I closed my eyes and raised my hands so my arms were stretched in front of me, pushing the squirming rabbit towards Edward's moving body. Luckily he hadn't been as fast as he usually was because if that had been the case I would have been dead in probably 2 seconds. Since I had shoved the animal straight into his mouth, like I had swear I would, Edward immediately grabbed the fury body and sank his teeth in its neck and began sucking, all the while making a face of pure disgust. _I would do the same if it were Brussels sprouts! _I retreated and placed myself next to the ladder, just in case I would have to run, and waited for him to finish, completely entranced by the whole scene. I think that, at some point, I stopped breathing, afraid to disturb the moment. But I guess I did disturb, even if for a few seconds, because Edward stopped what he was doing, opened his mouth and pushed away a little from the rabbit, and then resumed feeding.

I was beyond happy that I had accomplished my plan. He was feeding from a rabbit, which meant he had broken the cycle, and from then on, he was going to start feeding on animals again… which meant he was finally going to move back into the house and we were going to be near each other more.

I was facing him but I was a little distracted by my thoughts, so I didn't notice immediately that Edward had opened his eyes and was looking straight at me, with bloody mouth and bloody hands and a limp rabbit in his lap. I literally lost my words.

=#############################=

**Edward**

I was so confused by what had just happened that I lost my words. Literally.

I had lunged forward and when my mouth caught something I expected it to be warm and sweet and soft and… Bella. Of course I was so hungry and burning so much that until the pain subsided I didn't really care what was going down my throat, but it was nasty. When my brain began to function again I stopped the frantic drinking and for a few seconds thought of what I had in my hands. It was a rabbit, a disgusting rabbit! But I had been talking to Bella! Where was she? Was she even there? I stopped and heard and inhaled. She was there with me, I didn't know where we were but I could tell she was not far. She was alive but she wasn't breathing, I didn't know why. What mattered was that I had a rabbit in my hands, not sure how, and that I was having some much needed blood. When the small fury body was empty I dropped it and slowly opened my eyes, afraid of what I would see.

There she was, in front of me, leaning on the ladder of my lab, looking as perfect as always. She was looking at me but she was not really looking. After some time she focused her eyes and her jaw dropped. She was so beautiful, even though I couldn't see her very well, and her perfume and the sound of her heartbeat so… hypnotizing. And she was okay, she wasn't hurt or dead. I hadn't touched her. It had all been a dream, an awful dream that made me think about the thing that I was most afraid of: cave in. I was covered in blood and even though I felt an urge to lick it off my hands and mouth, I held back, afraid to scare her and disgust her.

But she was there so what had happened then? I was still too weak, everything was still too fuzzy. The blood hadn't been enough, not even close. I was on my lab and Bella was there. _Was she the one who gave me the rabbit? _I needed to say something, ask questions, I needed to clear my mind, take away all the confusion I was feeling and forget the ache in my throat.

"Bella." I wanted to say more but it hurt to talk. She was looking at me, waiting for me to say something. I inhaled deeply, regretting it immediately and continued looking at her, into her eyes. I wanted to disappear into them, that brown and deep and warm pool. Before I spoke again I cleaned my mouth with the sleeve of my sweater. I didn't want to talk to her with a bloody mouth.

"What happened?"

"I already told, Edward." She raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"You did?" _When? I don't remem…_

"The dream!" I said out loud. Of course!

"What dream?" She asked, still confused.

"Oh. Hmm… You're going to think it's stupid." I scratched the back of my neck. I was such a mess.

"No, I'm not. Actually, I think I know what you're talking about." She stated. She did?

"You do?"

And then the words came rushing out of her mouth. "Of course! Everything makes sense now! I was the one who was stupid." She chuckled and began rushing her fingers through her long hair. "You were dreaming the entire time, talking to me, thinking I was in the dream with you. But I wasn't. I was right here, talking you into feeding on the rabbit. Your answers didn't make any sense, of course they didn't. You weren't conscious! You didn't know I had the rabbit with me. How could you? Your eyes were not even open! I was such an idiot!"

I needed her to stop insulting herself. "Stop that, Bella. Don't say those things. You helped me, and for that, I'm thankful. I really am." I looked at her more intensely. I needed her to know that I was being honest. "I just… I still don't understand. I can't remember what happened. I'm sorry." What had happened to me? Why was I like that?

"You never showed up, Edward. You were supposed to go to the house yesterday night, like the previous night, and you never did. I waited, thinking you were going to be late again, like you usually were. But no, you didn't even come. So I began thinking… What could have happened, where you could be, if you were okay, because you had been acting so weird. You looked really tired and weak and your eyes had been changing since the first night we were together. Then I thought you were probably hungry or doing things in your lab, you know? Hungry because of the eyes and your weakness and you saying you were tired. Plus that last night you didn't even run, you walked!"

I was astonished! She was so observant!

"And the lab… you always said you were going to spend the rest of the night here. And you were strange so I thought that maybe you were testing on yourself or something. So I thought I could try to find you during the day, when it was light outside and you were like… dead. That way, if you were hungry, you wouldn't attack me because you wouldn't be able to move. Also you could have passed out somewhere, unprotected from the sun and… people…"

She had really thought about it. I didn't even dare to interrupt her though she stopped talking. I knew she was going to say more.

"Here was the first place I searched. I passed by your parents' grave and saw a wilted rose, and I knew something bad was up because I was positive you wouldn't leave a dead flower for your mother. And I found you, over there, lying on the floor, with your body all twisted. You had fallen, probably passed out. I didn't know if you were still alive or definitely dead but I decided to give it a shot, wait for the sunset. I knew you needed to feed because of the way you looked… like that wilted rose. Your skin and hair was so different. And since I had noticed the rabbits in the cages and one of them was alive I thought I could give it to you, instead of going hunting because, let's face it, what chances did I have?" She chuckled.

She was going to keep talking but as soon as the word "rabbits" came out of her mouth my brain clicked and everything came rushing back to me. _Oh shit. _I looked at the cage: empty. I looked at the counter: wrinkled papers missing. I looked at the floor: clean. _Oh no. Oooh nooo. This is not happening, this is not happening._

"Oooh nooo. No, no, no, no. This is not happening, this is not happening."

"Edward, what's wrong?" Bella left her place next to the ladder, knelt in front of me, and put her hands in my shoulders, straightening my torso. I had my knees to my chest, my hands in my head and was rocking back and forth by then. I was shaking violently.

"Bella, what did you do?" I asked her, probably using a tone a little on the harsh side.

"Edward… I…" She immediately backed away, got up and began to fidget.

"I thought I could clean a little. You were out and probably too weak to do it when you woke up. It smelled really bad here, because of the dead rabbit, you know? And there was broken glass on the floor and I was afraid someone might get hurt, which ended up happening since I managed to cut my hands a little. But it was nothing serious."

_She cut her hands? _I got up quickly, probably too quick because it seemed my head was almost detached from my neck with the way I felt it shaking, and stormed to her, grabbing her hands. "Edward, it is fine! I'm okay!" she said with a nervous voice.

"No, you're not, Bella. You're not! Oh god!" She didn't have marks. She didn't have marks!

"I am! See! It didn't even leave a scar. It was nothing!" I almost didn't hear her. I was in total panic! I couldn't believe what was happening! It was a nightmare. It just had to be.

"This can't be happening. This isn't real. You can't… I… I screwed everything! Why did you have to… Urrgg! The soul! My soul was enough! Yours is… oh God!" I couldn't stop shaking and turning her hands and looking at her face, her eyes, her hands again. "I'm so sorry, Bella! You weren't supposed to… This is wrong! This is all wrong! This is not real! It can't be! Oh no! Oh no! This is not re…"

And then my mouth wasn't able to finish because Bella crushed her lips into mine, freezing my body completely.

=#############################=

**Bella**

I just couldn't take it anymore. I was talking and he wasn't listening. He just kept mumbling words that didn't make any sense to me, I was telling him to calm down and stop talking but it was as if I wasn't even there with him, and he kept saying it wasn't real, it couldn't be, but it was! I was right there, looking at his fragile body, worried but gorgeous face, his eyes, his perfect lips, still a little red from his meal … I was completely lost in them and was actually a little turned on, even though I didn't want to admit it, and I just wanted to take away all his worries and make him see it was real, I was real and he was real and I was there with him, for him, and since he didn't stop talking and shaking I took a deep breath, embraced myself, put my hands on either side of his face, holding it, and kissed him. And it worked. And I felt the most amazing feeling running through my body. It was so perfect. His lips were so soft. He tasted so good. And then I realized he was frozen and wasn't reacting, neither reciprocating nor backing away. _Shit!_

As soon as I realized he wasn't moving at all I backed away, averting his eyes. The silence that settled between us was deafening.

=#############################=

**Edward**

I brought my fingers to my lips and touched them gently, still feeling a deep burn. Bella had touched my lips with hers. She… she had… kissed me? I had never been kissed before. It had been too quick though, probably because I had frozen like a complete idiot. But how couldn't I? Not only was the gesture completely foreign to me, I had my mind completely filled with an extremely serious issue. But I needed to put that aside for just a moment and think of what she had done.

She wasn't looking at me; she was looking at her feet. She was embarrassed probably because I hadn't had responded to her action and I was embarrassed too because I had no idea what to say, how to approach the subject.

_What am I going to say? What does one say in a situation like this?_

_Great, Edward! Really great! You're a 129 year old man who doesn't know how to talk to a lady in that way. You embarrass me!_

"Bella, I…"

She immediately interrupted me. "No, Edward, stop. You don't need to say anything. I'm sorry. It was rude of me to do that." And when she said it, she touched her lips with her fingers, just like I had done. _Is she feeling the same burn?_ She still wasn't looking at me so I took a few steps forwards, closing our distance, and put my fingers in her chin, raising her head, just to meet the most adorable pink cheeks I had ever seen. She was blushing! She was so adorable! And she had kissed me! ME! Edward the monster! Edward the vampire how had just killed a rabbit in front of her and had drunk its blood and had talked to her rudely! _Why did she do it? A woman only kisses a man when she likes him, right? That's how it works, I think. You just don't go around kissing people in the lips like you kiss them in the hand or cheek, right?_

"Bella, don't apologize, please. It was… nice." She blushed even further, her heart beating faster, and she tried to move her head, but I didn't let her.

"No, don't. I mean it. It's just… I had never kissed or been kissed by a woman before and… This is really embarrassing I know. I'm a 129 year old man who doesn't know how to kiss…" I rubbed my face, wishing there was a hole in the ground where I could just disappear into. "I didn't know what to do, you caught me off-guard, that's all."

"Really? I… I mean, are you sure?" Her voice told me she was insecure.

"Yes. I'm sure… But… Why did you do it?" Yes, that's what puzzled me. _Can you even ask that to a woman? You don't ask a woman why, Edward! What a tool!_ Why did she chose to do it in that particular moment, when there was so much tension, when I was so nervous and beginning to see there was going to be a major issue to deal with. I still didn't know how to tell her. She was going to hate me forever for it.

"You needed to stop, Edward. You were shaking like crazy and mumbling incoherent words and you weren't making any sense. I was talking to you and you weren't even listening, not even when I screamed. And... You… I just thought it would be a good way to call your attention, make you stop… I guess… I guess it worked?" she chuckled a little at the end.

"Yes… I guess it worked, Bella. Thank you… for kissing me out of it." And I smiled at her. I had to; it had been amazing no matter the rest. She had saved me, she had helped me… and I loved her! I needed to tell her that. She needed to know that I was thankful, no matter what.

"Bella, I just want you to know that, even though what you did was stupid and you put yourself in danger, I'm thankful. You helped me. I can't believe how much of me you already know and understand, how you knew just what to do, how you managed to feed me that rabbit even though you knew I just couldn't. I'm really glad you're a persistent woman and you have a heart the size of the world." She was smiling at me and her eyes were shining so beautifully. I wanted to tell her I loved her and kiss her, so what I said meant even more. But I still had to tell her more. I needed to explain myself.

"Bella, listen I… I think I should tell you what happened. I owe you, after what you did for me. I'm really sorry I got you worried. Will you let me?" She nodded. I grabbed her hand and walked her towards a stool, on the cleaner side of the counter. I gestured for her to sit, which she did, and then placed her hands on her thighs and looked at me, waiting for me to begin.

"Okay. So…" I cleared my throat. "Ever since you said that I needed to be a little selfish and sometimes take what I wanted, and that everything happens for a reason, I began thinking about my life, me… you… You didn't want me to feed on humans and neither did I, but I tried to feed from an animal that first night and I just couldn't so I decided that I was going to stop feeding at all. I had managed to hold it for 8 days before, so it couldn't be that bad right? But then I began working here on the lab and running too much and doing things that demanded too much energy. It began to be hard to stay close to you, because of my constant hunger. The selfish speech made me think that, even though I couldn't take what I wanted, you, that I couldn't take the risk of damning you, taking away your life, just for the sake of having you forever, I could do something about me. I… you heard me that night, talking to my mother so… you know… So I thought that maybe I could return to my studies and experiments to try and find a cure for me. I became obsessed. The idea of being able to stay near you, for the rest of your life, was more tempting than the idea of being with you for an hour at night, and I also knew that by the end of the week I wouldn't be seeing you again because I just couldn't feed from an animal. So I began working long hours. It distracted me, which was why I was late. The lack of blood began to take its toll on me and I got slower, moving and thinking. I hunted rabbits so I could test on them. I infect one and then I gave it the antidote I created. I only did this because I wanted to be able to go with you to places, you know? See the sun with you, walk with you around other people, sleep at night and be awake during the day, get old next to you, like a normal person. But I guess that… I was too selfish perhaps."

I stopped talking just to see if Bella wanted to say something. The hard part was yet to come. She was going to hate me.

"But, Edward. I don't understand. I told you I was okay with what you are. I don't care if you only can be around at night. I don't care if you can't be around other people. I understand if YOU want that, but don't say it's because of me. I mean, look at me! I spend the entire time at home, the only friend I've got is Jacob, and even he doesn't come around here much anymore. I find you fascinating, I admire your skills and your history and I'm not afraid of you and what you do or did. It's who you are, no one is perfect! I like you for who you are, so don't say you want to change for me."

I couldn't hold any longer and her final words undid me so I took a few steps forward and I kissed her, just like she had done to me. My eyes were closed, my hands cupped her face, my lips touched hers and she moaned softly. _Oh god!_ She brought her hands around my neck as I kissed her harder and then she opened her mouth slightly. I could feel the warmth of her breath touching my lips. _Should I part my lips too? _I had no clue of what to do. I opened my mouth too and after a second I felt her tongue touching my lip. _Holly Jesus!_ It was too much. It was overwhelming and my body began having some inappropriate reactions below my waist. I didn't want her to notice. It wasn't polite. When she put her hands in my hair and pulled a little I had to break the kiss. She released a little moan of disappointment but I couldn't keep going. My mouth was already watering too much and the monster inside me was roaring like a lion trapped in a cage.

We were panting, our hearts racing and I bet we had matching huge grins. Her eyes were shining like the sun and her cheeks were pink and her lips were wet and a little swollen. Maybe I had been too harsh. She touched her lips like she had done before and I raised her face to my eyes and touched her lips too, with my thumb.

"Did I hurt you?" I asked, worried.

"Oh, no! Not at all! It was… awesome!" She answered excitedly. I squealed inside!_ Yay! Edward scored! I kissed her and she liked it!_ I gave myself a mental hi-five.

"Good. I'm glad." I smiled. I would have blushed if I could.

She was still touching her lips. "Do you feel it too?" I asked her.

"Yes." She answered blushing.

We were in a bubble and I was dreading the speech that was going to burst it. But it had to be said; she needed to know what could have happened to her. And we didn't have a lot of time.

"Bella." I held her hands to calm her. We were looking into each others eyes while I traced circles in the back of her hands with my thumbs. The contact sent chills through my spine.

"I'm really glad you feel that way about me and that you accept who I am and what I can do..." She nodded and smiled. _Oh god, help me!_ "And I'm really glad you find my skills interesting. But the animal blood won't allow me to be that fast anymore, or strong. I'm going to lose my heightened senses too."

"That's okay, Edward. It's not because of that that I like to be around you. Yes, it was pretty cool, but what matters is, you're here and I'm here and we can do other stuff together, right? Nights are really long too, there's plenty of time to go anywhere without having to run. And my garden is already cleaned so…" She laughed. She was adorable and she was comforting me but it wasn't working, I was nervous as hell.

"Yes, I guess you're right. But Bella, there is something else I need to tell you. I didn't finish what I was saying earlier."

"Oh. Okay. Go on then." She sat in a more serious pose, waiting.

"Well. Before I passed out, due to lack of blood, yes, I had been working. I had had an excellent idea; at least I thought it was. I infected the rabbit and then I gave it the antidote I had created. It didn't work, as you saw for yourself apparently. I didn't bother to get rid of the dead rabbit, it didn't bother me. I decided to study what I had written and change a few elements, you know? Pick up from the equations and notes I had already written, which seems you threw away…"

"Oh, no! I'm so sorry Edward! I didn't know! Oh shit! I saw them crumpled and I thought they were trash, that you didn't need them anymore. Now they're probably gone!"

That was the least of my problems.

"Don't worry, Bella, that's okay. They probably wouldn't work anyway. So… I was trying to change the formulas, find out what was wrong. When I managed to get something, I picked a glass bottle…" _This is it. No turning back from this point._ "And I… I needed to infect the rabbit first, right? So I went to the cabinet and took out the formula and dropped a little inside the bottle. I needed to warm it first. By then I was already not feeling so good. So, then, I was walking around the counter and I felt dizzy and I fell and it fell and…"

I began to tremble. I couldn't keep going.

"What, Edward? Come on, tell me. Don't be afraid. I'm here, remember? What happened then? Is there something wrong with you, is that it? Did you hurt yourself?"

"No, Bella, I didn't. But you did."

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**a/n: uuuuuuuuuuh.**

**are things gonna get ugly now? Is Edward overreacting? Has he been watching too many vampire and sci-fi movies or do we have a Bella in some serious trouble?**

**I'm not going to ask for reviews because i noticed there's really no point. Review if you feel like it.**

**See you soon! xoxo**


	18. 17 Everything happens for a reason

**a/n: hi there!**

**You know how this works by now, don't you? so, here we go.**

**First, i want to thank the people who reviewed and added this story to their alerts and favorites. you made me want to not stop writing. so yay to you!**

**Second... this one is a little on the short side but it needs to be this way. sorry if you like them bigger *giggles*... i'll see you at the bottom!**

**(i do not own them but do you know what i own? a bit of a sweet tooth! Man, i love this expression. So, right now, i'm chewing this amazing cookie. i would give you a little but i'm selfish like that!)**

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######################

"What, Edward? Come on, tell me. Don't be afraid. I'm here, right? What happened then? Is there something wrong with you, is that it? Did you hurt yourself?"

"No, Bella, I didn't. But you did."

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**Bella**

_I hurt myself… I… hurt myself. In the glass? Yes, I did. True. But… so what? I don't understand what he's… Oh. My. God. The glass! _I was beginning to really register what he had been telling me.

"Edward! Are you saying…?" I didn't even want to try to understand what he was trying to tell me. It couldn't be true! Surely it wasn't a piece of broken glass that once had been in contact with THE formula that was going to infect me. It had been just a few little cuts.

"Edward. It was just a piece of broken glass. Relax. You're scaring me!" He was! And I was a little scared too! He didn't stop looking between my face and my hands. Was he seeing something? He was shaking all over, his eyes were wide. He was trying to speak but nothing was coming out of his open mouth... And even though I was in such a serious situation all I kept thinking was I really wanted to kiss his perfect lips again... _Focus Bella!_ Could it be? He believed it and he surely was more experienced in the subject than I was. Was he saying that… that I was going to be like him? _Am I turning into a…?_

"Holly shit! Am I going to be a vampire too?" I released my hands from his grasp and brought them to my mouth. He took a step back and, closing his eyes, he nodded.

"I think so, Bella, yes. I'm really sorry and I understand if you hate me, I hate myself right now. But I promise you, right here and right now, I am going to do everything I can to find the antidote. Actually, I'm going to begin immediately."

He wasn't looking at me anymore. Instead, he was roaming around the lab, picking things and moving them and organizing the counter. "Stop, Edward." He kept throwing things away, cleaning bottles, changing filters and tubes. "Edward, stop it." He was mumbling words to himself, words I wasn't able to understand. "EDWARD! STOP!"

He finally listened and immediately turned his face to me. He looked so lost, so weak still. He was looking at me half surprised half apologetic. He needed to feed. He needed more than just that little rabbit. He needed to focus, breathe, calm down and listen to me.

"Edward, please, listen to me. Before anything else, you need to feed. Look at you! You are not going to repeat the last days' events. I am not letting you do anything until you have more blood. I'm sorry, and I don't care if you feel you need to start immediately. You need to do as I'm saying. Plus, you're not even letting me talk! I need time to process this information. What if I'm not even infected? Like I told you, the cuts weren't that deep, why isn't it possible that they just healed? And what if I am infected? Don't you think there is a possibility I wouldn't mind being that way? You have to give me time to think."

He opened his mouth like a goldfish. Was what I was saying such an impossible idea?

"But, Bella! Why would you want to be like this? Look at me! I don't understand! I'm a monster! I'm a killer, I'm damned! I'm…" He had his eyes closed and was pulling his hair.

"Stop talking, Edward. Please." I exhaled deeply. "You are no such things. You're Edward, a kind, intelligent, funny, interesting and deep man, with a troubled past and a few singularities. And you are not damned! You aren't. So stop saying those things. Plus, it is not your place to decide for me. What did I tell you? Everything happens for a reason. If I'm infected, then that means something. Now, before we do anything else, like I told you, you are going to hunt. So, if you don't mind, get out of this hole you've been spending too much time in and catch some rabbits… or anything else you feel like eating. I'll take this…" I went to the dead rabbit and picked it up by one of its legs, "and I'll wait for you in the house. I think it's time for you to leave this place and get back to your attic. I'm sure you miss it." I gave him a smile and winked. He was looking at me like I had grown a second head. All he said was a "Yes, Bella." then he put on a pair of boots, climbed the ladder and was gone.

…

It was raining heavily. I was sitting on my couch, covered by my fluffy quilt, my feet resting at my side, sipping on a cup of hot chocolate and thinking. I was too nervous, though, so my stomach was giving me a hard time. I put down the chocolate before it would have an undesired effect on me. It had been three hours since Edward had left the lab and he was still gone. He was probably drenched and killing the entire fauna of Bibury. _He better not kill them all! Soon, we'll have to share! _Yes, that was the conclusion I had came to. If I was indeed infected, I wasn't going to take any antidote. The main reason was I was fully aware of the consequences of taking bad antidotes. I just had to think of Edward's mother, the poor dead rabbit I had found and the dozens, if not hundreds, of rabbits he had killed during all those years he had spent working in the lab. And if Edward didn't even want to acknowledge it, I had already had: there was no antidote, simple as that. And knowing that I didn't want to die, at least not that young, the only option left was let the changes come and live with them. Also, I had been thinking, I didn't feel connected to the world of normal people, never had. I had never had many friends, I didn't like to socialize, I preferred to be alone, at home, living peacefully in my little bubble… _until you met Edward!_

Apart from Jacob, whom I had connected with fairly easily, Edward was the only friend I had and I didn't even see him as a friend anymore. I knew how he felt about me, I knew I liked him more than just as a friend and we had shared two kisses already. The best kisses I had ever had. He made me feel alive. He woke up certain feelings inside me. I felt protected around him and felt protective of him. I cared for him. So what if I turned into a vampire? I would have Edward, right? I wouldn't be alone like he had. He would stay with me, right? No one would miss me. I didn't have any family or anyone else that attached me to Bibury or anywhere else. I could leave Bibury, I could go with Edward wherever he wanted to go… if that was his wish.

…

I was startled when I heard a knock on the front door. He was so adorable. He didn't have to knock but, like the gentleman he was, he did. I got up, put down the book I had been reading on the table, stretched and walked towards the sound of knuckles tapping on wood. "I'm coming! Took you long enough!"

I tapped the switch, turning on the outside lamp, and opened the door with a smile on my face. The smile soon turned into a frown when I saw in front of me not Edward but Jacob. And he had water dripping from his hair and his clothes were soaked. He was shaking a little.

"Oh, hi. Hmm… What are you doing here?"

"Hello, Bella. I'm sorry to just show up like this. Were you waiting for someone?" He asked while stretching his neck to try and peak inside. _The nerve!_ I closed the door so that only my face could be seen. I wasn't going to invite him in. I didn't care if it was raining and he was freezing. I felt fine. It wasn't even that cold. I was sure he could endure it.

"No. Not really. What do you want? It's late Jacob." I looked at my watch, it was close to midnight. _Edward is still gone._

"I… I just kept trying to contact you, calling and texting, and you never answered. Plus, I haven't seen you in a while at the center, no one have. I was worried. That's all."

"And you decide to show up at midnight? Under heavy rain? What? Were you worried I might have been taken by spirits?" I snickered and heard a muffled laugh coming from the living room. _Edward is here!_

"Bella, please. I told you I'm sorry. I promise I'll never mention it again. I just came here to tell you that face to face, since you weren't letting me do it by phone. It was driving me insane! I just had to come. I'm glad you're okay." He smiled at me but honestly, I was in no mood to smile. _Be fair, Bella. Don't be rude. The guy is just trying to apologize... And he looks like he's cold._ "Fine, Jacob. Okay. As you can see, I'm alive and kicking. Now, if you don't mind, it's late and I'm really tired (_No I'm not!_) and you woke me so (_liar!_)… If you don't mind, could you leave? I'll call you tomorrow or something, okay?"

His face told me he wasn't expecting such rejection. I didn't care. Edward was waiting for me in the living room. I was excited! I wanted to know what he had been up to and I really wanted to talk to him about what I had been thinking.

"Oh, okay. I'm sorry I woke you. I'll be going then. I'll see you tomorrow or… whenever. Bye." He didn't make a move to leave though. "Yes, bye Jacob. Have a good night." I closed the door in his face. I didn't move away from it though. I wanted to make sure he was gone before I went to meet Edward. I didn't want Jacob to hear him or hear me talking to someone. He would probably think there were actually some spirits in the house or that I had become loony.

When I heard his hurried steps and the little front gate screeching I exhaled in relief and went to the living room. There, in the couch I had been sitting earlier, was a smiling Edward, looking way better. He looked like his usual self. Gone were the dark circles under his eyes, his skin looked smooth, his lips… His hair was shinny and begging me to touch it, and he had nice clothes. I gave him a wide smile and moved towards him with little jumps and clapping my hands. "Sooo! Tell me! How did it go? You look so good! Why did you take so long? Don't tell me you killed all the animals!" I jumped onto the couch next to him, putting one of my feet under me. My smile didn't leave my face. He laughed and gave me a small peck on the cheek. I immediately felt the blood rise to it and that amazing burning sensation. _Wow. That was unexpected!_

"I didn't, no. But it went well, yes. I'm well now. I'm feeling fine. Great actually! These things take time, Bella. The first one was tough but I thought "You have to, Edward!" and I sank my teeth in the rabbit and that was it. After that, it was easy." He was so happy and I was so happy for him! "That is so great Edward! And how long have you been here? Don't think I didn't hear you laugh at my remark!" I pointed a finger at him. He laughed louder.

"You did? I got here and found you lost in a book. I didn't want to interrupt you so I decided to take a hot shower and change clothes. I'm guessing you didn't notice it? I went downstairs when I heard him."

"Oh, I didn't! The rain was falling so heavily. And yes, I was really lost in the book. I'm always like that when I'm reading… But I'm so glad you're feeling better! You look better! And you… kind of… smellreallynice." I blurted out. My cheeks were probably red.

He laughed. "Really? Why, thank you! You smell pretty fantastic yourself!" And then there was silence and intense stare. It was like a contest and we were trying to see who the winner was going to be. I won because he broke it.

"How are you feeling, Bella?" He asked, concerned, placing one of his not as cold as usual hands on my burning cheek.

"Fine. I feel fine. Can we talk, Edward? I want to talk to you." My heart began to race. I was going to tell him what I thought of the whole situation. I was scared.

"Yes. Sure. Of course, that's I want too." He took away his hand and moved his body so he was mirroring my position.

"Okay, so, before I began reading my book, I spent some time thinking and… I've come to a conclusion. But! You have to promise me you're going to let me talk, no interruptions. And when I finish, I don't want to hear any "buts", do you understand. I've made my decision and you're going to have to accept it." I seriously hoped it would be what he wanted.

#####################################

**Edward**

She had made her decision. She didn't want any "buts". She was going to leave me or she was going to tell me to go away, get out of her life. I wasn't prepared for that. I didn't know what I would do if she asked me that.

Everything was going great, apart from the fact that Bella was going to turn into a vampire and I was going to need all the strength I could get to work on an antidote. But, as usual, she was taking the whole thing like a sport. She was the one with the cold head. She made me focus on the essential, do what I really needed to do, hunt. And I was thankful. It had been hard, like I had told her. But I had made up my mind. I needed to get a grip. If I wanted to have a relationship with Bella I needed to be a good person. If I wanted to find an antidote, I needed strength. I needed to be strong for her and be better for her. So after years and years without doing it, I fed from animals. Not just rabbits, though, that would be cruel to the species.

When I got home, completely soaked and dirty but satiated, and found her reading a book, comfortably lying on her sofa, covered by that amazingly scented quilt, I decided to let her be and go make myself more… presentable, decent. I was on my attic when I heard the boy and I immediately released a growl. How dared he show up at that time of the night? I went downstairs and sat on the sofa where she had been sitting, listening. I felt bold. I wasn't hungry and I wanted to be close to her. I wanted to touch her and kiss her again, and he was wasting our time together. I couldn't help but laugh when Bella asked him if he was worried she had been taken by spirits. Of course after the laughter came the realization that it was somewhat true. I had taken her spirit, I had damned her.

When she came to me looking all cute, jumping and clapping her hands, with a big smile on her face, I felt my heart swell and almost beat out of my chest. She was amazing and I loved her so much. I wanted to kiss her perfect lips and taste her and touch her strawberry hair. I only kissed her cheek though, but that was enough to send chills all over my body. When she told me she wanted to talk to me, though… I just needed to prepare myself to hear the words of rejection.

"Okay, Bella. I promise I won't say a thing." I was feeling defeated already.

"Okay… Now, we don't know if I'm actually turning. For all we know, the cuts weren't deep enough to leave marks. Plus, the glass didn't have enough amount of formula to be that powerful, right?"

I wanted to tell her she was wrong but there was no point. She didn't want "buts" or any kind of interruption.

"Anyway, IF I'm turning… I want to stay that way. I want to be like you. I don't want any antidote; I don't want you to spend time working on your lab instead of living your life, instead of spending time with me. I thought earlier, maybe you haven't realized it yet, or don't want to see it, but I do: there is no antidote, Edward. I mean, think! You mother… that rabbit, all the rabbits you killed because of antidotes that you thought were perfect but weren't. You are not going to waste the rest of your life trying to discover something that doesn't exist. And I'm not taking anything you create because I don't want to die, not this young. I still have a lot to do and I want to… I want to be with you."

_Can I kiss you right now? Please?_

"This is not the only reason I don't mind turning into… a vampire. Look at me. I have no family, no friends, not even Jacob, not anymore. I just have… you. There is nothing to hold me here. If I'm gone, who's going to notice? No one! I don't belong here, Edward, to the normal world. I spent my whole life as an outsider, living inside this bubble and I never let anyone get inside, except my father and… you. And honestly, I don't want to burst that bubble. I feel comfortable inside it, I feel happy. And I want to keep feeling that way. I understand if you think I'm going to be a burden. I don't want to be. I understand if you want to leave or tell me to leave. I'm sure I know enough of your lifestyle to manage on my own. So, as soon as the changing begins I'm glad to pack my things and…"

I put my lips to hers and kissed her with more passion than ever before. I loved her. I loved her so much! My heart didn't fit my chest anymore. And she was responding to my kiss. Both our mouths parted and I was tasting Bella's tongue and lips and… all of her. Her hands were touching and pulling my hair, one of my hands was at the back of her neck, my thumb tracing circles on her hot and soft skin. She moaned and I moaned. Instinctively I lift slightly from the sofa and began leaning over her. _What am I doing?_ She followed my movement so we began lying down on the sofa, our mouths always connected. My brain was clouded; I didn't see, hear feel or smell anything but Bella and her reactions. My body was covering hers; my free hand began to touch her body, descending until it reached her hip, which I unconsciously gripped and at the same time, I pressed my lips deeper into hers. At that gesture Bella reacted by lifting her hips towards me. That movement made my body react in such way that I began slowing down my kissing and loosening my grip on her. Those reactions made me nervous as hell. I felt like a stupid teenager. I had no idea what to do.

I gave her a little peck on her sweet lips, kissing away her small pout, and another… and another… and rested my forehead to hers. We were panting and breathless but I needed to speak.

"Bella… I… you know how I feel about you. You know. So please, don't say things like that. Of course you're not a burden for me! I want to be with you too. You have no idea… nothing makes me happier than knowing that's how you feel about me and about this whole situation."

She was smiling and humming, with her eyes still closed. As her chest rose and fell, it touched my chest. As she breathed I could feel her warmth touching my face and it made me feel wonderfully. With one hand I stroked her hair, down to her cheek. Then, with my fingers I gently traced her collarbone and placed a gentle kiss at the hollow of her throat. It felt so good to be that close to a person, to a woman, to Bella.

She lifted my head with her hands, opened her eyes, and looking deeply into my eyes, she spoke, "You make me happy and I want to stay with you, no matter what happens. Everything happens for a reason, remember? I'm just glad you're here, we're here. Now… kiss me again." And with that, she brought my face close to hers by pushing down her hands on my neck, crashed her lips into mine, and we were lost in each other again.

I didn't dare to stop and tell her her eyes were no longer brown.

* * *

**a/n: is this starting to feel like an ending or what?**

**yep, it is true. i think we are only one chapter away of knowing how everything ends for Edward and Bella.**

**Are you sad? I know I am. I don't want to let them go but... I have to.**

**Also, i'm really sorry i'm a c0ck blocker. I just have a hard time writing lemons. I know, I suck. I'm sorry. Plus, it's too soon for them, don't you agree? Let's just let them make out like teenagers for a while ;)**

**See you soon!**

**xoxo**


	19. 18 Forever

**a/n: Hello dear friends.**

**Sooo... this is it! Yep, it's true.**

**I want to thank everyone who reviewed and added this story to their alerts and favorites. You were my rock! I can't even tell you how thankful i am for your positive feedback, being that this is my first attempt at writing... ever! You're awesome!**

**Now, without any further delay, i give you...**

**the end of MitA!**

**See you at the bottom.**

**(I do not own them but do you know what i own? A sense of emptiness and a certain sadness. It was an amazing journey.)**

* * *

**Edward**

"Hello, mother... Hello, father. I'm sorry I haven't been around lately… I know! … I know. It's just… It had to be, you know? But I'm here now. I'm here."

I got down, sitting on the ground, and placed a red rose at the feet of where the stone was, under the cover of green weeds. I didn't waste time ripping them away. There was no point; they were going to grow again after a while. I placed one of my hands on top of it and sighed.

"I miss you, you know? Both of you. And it's sad because… because I don't remember how you looked like anymore, what your voices sounded like or how you smelled. But that doesn't stop me from missing you. I wish… I wish you were here with me, right now. I've been through so much, I wanted to share so much with you two!"

I brought my hands to my face and began sobbing. My shoulders were shaking violently and I couldn't stop. It was as if I had always managed to keep certain feelings at bay, control them, control me, but being there… It completely undid me. It had been too long. But as soon as I felt her hand rest over my left shoulder, a wave of calm rushed through me. I immediately stopped trembling and breathed deeply. She always knew what to do. She didn't even need to talk, just the smell of her perfume and her touch were enough.

"Mother, this is Bella. You remember her… Yes, I told you plenty about her." I chuckled. "Yes, that's her! Yes, I do. I love her, she knows it. And she loves me to! Can you believe it? Me!"

Bella got down and sat next to me, gave me a smile and grabbed my hand. She squeezed it lightly, calming me, and then spoke.

"Hi! I'm Bella. I've been hearing so much about you, Esme. Edward keeps telling me how kind you were and how beautiful you were. He says you had a great heart."

She lowered her voice, like she was whispering to my mother. "You know what? I think he takes it after you."

We both chuckled and looked at each other, smiling.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"And Carlisle, I bet Edward takes after you too. You know, it was hard for me to take him away from that lab of yours! He almost cried while we watched it burn. But I think, in the end, he was relieved. I hope you're not mad at me."

"He isn't Bella. You did the right thing." I squeezed her hand.

It was amazing how she had always known what to do.

We stood there for a while, how long? I wasn't sure. It didn't matter.

I had missed those woods; I had missed those tall trees, the sounds of those animals, the smells that were so familiar again. I inhaled deeply and smiled.

"You ready?" She asked me, with a certainty in her voice. She was the strong one, always had been. She knew what to say, how to say it, what to do, how to do it.

She got up, cleaned her sexy little butt and stretched her hand towards me. I grabbed it without hesitation and rose from the ground. She brought her other hand to my ass and began cleaning it, with a sexy smirk on her lips. "There, all cleaned!" She smiled at me with that innocent look she always liked to give me, that she knew drove me crazy.

"Thank you, milady!" I answered, tapping her on her butt. She yelped and laughed. We looked like teenagers. It was light and fun and I was having the greatest time of my life.

We walked, hand in hand, towards the end of the woods.

"Isn't it weird?" She asked me. "Knowing that it's all gone?"

It really was. We had come across a local news article that was interesting, to say the least.

"_**Cold Cases: Haunted House mysteries**_

_**125 years after the disappearance of the Masen family and 120 years after the brutal multiple homicide that took the life of 3 innocent people, at the Forest House, another mystery still feeds the beliefs of several people who claim the house is haunted.**_

_**The disappearance of Isabella Swan, a 25 year old American who was the daughter of Renee Peterson, a believer who had bought the house, with hopes of discovering what was happening there, made the inhabitants of Bibury concerned about their safety. Jacob Black, a friend of the young woman, told us "she had been acting weird for some time now. I tried talking to her; make her understand she could be in danger. But she dismissed me and even laughed at me. I guess… I guess she shouldn't have laughed after all."**_

_**Now, 20 years after Isabella's vanishing, the house is going to be demolished. Not only no one is interested in buying it, it is too old and its structure has become too unstable. The demolition is going to take place next week.**_

_**Can it be that the Forest House is really haunted? Where are Edward, Esme and Carlisle Masen? Who killed Rose Dawson, Henry Turner and Ann Turner? Where is Isabella Swan?"**_

We were staring into the empty space that once had a house. There were no longer stone walls, yellow glass windows, rosebushes or tulips, no upper floor or attic or roof. All that was left was the tree that for so long was the way of getting in and out of the house and a gigantic pile of construction waste. It was a bittersweet feeling. We knew we couldn't have kept staying there, we needed to move out and move on, but seeing the place where we had once lived in, turned into nothing, it was sad.

"It is but… I guess it was time. I mean… the house was too old already. Who would want to live in it? And this is still the middle of nowhere." I gestured to our surroundings. It was weird how some things and places kept changing but Bibury always remained the same.

"Yeah… and who would want to live in a house that was believed to be haunted? I mean, think! Seven people, Edward! Either dead or missing." She laughed while she said it and showed me seven fingers. "I know I wouldn't!"

"You're right. It was spooky!" I laughed.

"Hey! Don't laugh, it was! You were! That first night I saw you!" But she wasn't serious; she was pointing at me and laughing too.

I turned to her and looked at her face. She was still as beautiful as she had been when I had met her. After all those years I didn't love her any less. I looked into her deep and shiny orange eyes and red lips and, brushing my thumbs over her pale cheeks, I brought my lips to hers and kissed her passionately. I could easily lose myself in her. I didn't need anything else but her… _and blood. Okay._

After an eternity of kissing and touching, in front of those ugly ruins, we broke the kiss at the same time and began laughing lightly. I wasn't sure if my smile ever left my face. Giving her a small peck on her lips I asked her:

"So. Now… where to?"

"I heard rabbits in Italy are pretty tasty."

* * *

**a/n: the end!**

**Again, thank you so much for sticking with me until the end. I hope you had a good time. I know i did!**

**Any review is welcome!**

**I love you all! Thank you!**

**xoxo**

**Mafalda**


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